Big Tex, I'd like to say that I've always found you to be a wonderful person. The same goes for your wife! If we look at any of us, over a period of time, we notice that not everyone is on the same page at the same time. For the longest time, I couldn't bear myself to recognize that I was in a "cult". I would use the term, "cult-like" but it took me a while before I could accept that. When some people forcefully tried to jam the idea that JWs were a cult, I was more turned off. We have to learn how and when to cut people some slack. I hope 2 yrs. from now, I'll be a more tolerant person than I am now. Even if I get to a point where being a JW is a distant memory, I hope to never forget where I once was.
Should ExJWs Be Given More Slack Here?
by minimus 26 Replies latest jw friends
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Simon
I don't understand the question ... we're all exJW's ?!
If you think you are not then you need to wake up ... go tell the elders what you are doing and you will be an ex. Don't tell them and you are living a double life and the holy spirit / Jehovabobaboots will know and you are really an ex.
There is plenty of leeway and 'slack' allowed. However, we like to keep a welcoming, friendly atmosphere and like most sites do not tollerate certain anti-social behaviour including personal attacks and regular insults.
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minimus
Not everyone here or lurkers are exJWs. For those not quite in a category yet, I agree we must be extra nice to them so they will feel welcomed.
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Corvin
Not sure if I am on target here, Min, but here goes . . .
Are you speaking of the JW's that are still in the org, that those who are out of the org now are a bit harsh and critical of those who remain inside knowing it is a cult? Do the XJW's pressure such ones to leave when they are not ready? Is that what you are talking about????
Corvin
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minimus
This place can be a source of real healing. I say JWs and exes are of a different breed because we're all at different levels of maturation. We need to be kind to all persons----viewing them as "babes" in their rediscovery of life outside the "truth". I strongly believe we can win many people over by our kindness as opposed to harshness.
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Simon
No Corvin
This is about Minimus wanting to be able to compare people (ie. me and the other moderators) to the JW Elders when he doesn't get his own way.
I don't think anyone deserves to be the subject of constant insults and neither do I think that people in 'recovery' want, need or expect the right to insult people or be given more slack.
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minimus
No Corvin, what Simon said is not the case. Perhaps, "new lite" will come out soon......
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undercover
I remember when I first posted, many people welcomed me and said they understood where I was coming from. I was also accused being a troll. I think it was because of my ignorance on the whole subject of the WTS. I was a little different than many. I was not an X-JW. I had questions and doubts but had not made a decision to leave. I had been lurking here and learning some things but still felt a little quilty about being on the big, bad, apostate board. My questions may have come across as baiting to some.
I think I understand what you're asking for Minimus. We are all at different stages and we need to remember that not everyone coming here is completely ready to cut all ties with the WTS/family/friends right off the bat. It's a 3-step forward, 1-step back progress sometimes. I know, I've been there. I think I've completed the fade away and then something happens that I have to deal with. I have even had to step foot back in the hall, just to keep peace in the family. I'm beginning to believe that to fade completely away is not possible unless you move far away.
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itsallgoodnow
I think I know what you mean, I've seen it get pretty harsh on this board sometimes, but it's usually pretty friendly. All kinds of people at different stages in their recovery, it's not surprising. I know I've been a real jerk too at times. Religion is such a touchy subject anyway, and especially this religion which has caused such overwhelming pain and frustration for so many of us. And then we have our new ideas about religion, that from what I've seen, span the whole spectrum and generate many heated debates. My guess is that members who may start out kind of angry eventually do chill out, well it's true in my case anyway.
I hope everything is going ok for you, minimus.
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Bubbamar
The truth of the WTBTS is harsh. If people want candy coated BS then they can go back to the Borg where they came from. I am certainly not going to minimize MY truth for the comfort of some potentially sensitive reader. Of course I also would not try to force anything on anyone and will be welcoming but I won't edit my thoughts or feelings.