My mother says I should just DA already.

by Julia Orwell 50 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Sail Away

  Julia, your art is simply exquisite, please focus on that as it is healing. Let the things that are making you feel less than adequate and stressing you out go. It's time to take care of yourself. Work on why it is that what other people think of you (JWs and former co-workers) has such power to hurt you. I understand the feeling that everything we do isn't good enough or isn't worth the effort. That is JW programming-- it's the whole everything is "vanity and striving after the wind" thing. I still struggle with that. 

  I wrote a DA letter, but didn't mail it. That felt good. I also really like the idea of the letter of resignation that was posted here on this forum. It's something to do preemptively without playing by their rules. Do what rebel8 said and block JWs from your life-- disfellowship them! I also worked very hard at deprogramming myself. One thing still on my list of 50 Ways to Leave your Cult is to donate blood. I need to make time to do that.

  I'm glad you are looking into therapy. I have a Buddhist therapist. I really like the perspective of Buddhist psychology. I read a lot of books, listened to CDs and took a few online classes by Insight Mediation Society teachers like Jack Kornfield, Sharon Salzburg, Jack Goldstein and Tara Brach. The Interdependence Project in NY City is a good resource for online secular Buddhist teachings. I belong to a local Insight Meditation Society Sangha (community) associated with Yale University and have met some amazing people there.

  http://www.dharma.org/
  

  https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS576US576&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=interdependence+project
  

  Books and recordings that helped me:
  

  Radical Self-Acceptance, by Tara Brach
  

  The Wise Heart: A guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology, by Jack Kornfield

  When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, by Pema Chodron.

  ETA: 
  

  https://www.edx.org/course/science-happiness-uc-berkeleyx-gg101x#.VMex92jF8b0

  Watch inspirational talks at https://www.ted.com/talks
• 

  GrreatTeacher

  Just checked out your artwork. Loved the portrait of Smokey the cat. You do great work in subtle greys and white.
• 

  doofdaddy

  Well after reading all this esp your comments, I see that you yourself would make an excellent cult counsellor. Go back to Uni and do a psych degree maybe at Bond as it is so close to you. No doubt you would get a lot of Advanced Standing for your Dip Ed and from reading your posts I could imagine that you would flourish under attending a campus rather than distance education (of course you will run up a HECS bill but hey you only live once).
  

  I have a relative who went back and did her Psch Degree and Masters post jws and she learned so much about herself and the religion via study and talking to her lecturers. The first thing she got was confidence in herself and her ability to think after the total conditioning of the cult.

  Oh and sorry about the cat
  
• 

  fulltimestudent

  I agree with Doofdaddy.

  And I love your chook drawings. 

  At first I thought I was seeing a slight East Asian influence, but on reflection I thought not. So I thought I'd ask.

  Here's a couple (just to show what I mean - and these examples seem to be by a Japanese artist).

  So as a thought, perhaps you should study art - it may be more soul-satisfying.

  

  

  
  

  
  
• 

  Sail Away

  doofdaddy
  

  Well after reading all this esp your comments, I see that you yourself would make an excellent cult counsellor. Go back to Uni and do a psych degree maybe at Bond as it is so close to you. No doubt you would get a lot of Advanced Standing for your Dip Ed and from reading your posts I could imagine that you would flourish under attending a campus rather than distance education (of course you will run up a HECS bill but hey you only live once).

  I love this idea! If I had my bachelor's degree and teaching certification, I would do this in a heartbeat! 
  

  I, too, see the Asian influence in your art!
• 

  3rdgen

  @ Jerome Harris

  "We ourselves made the decision to join that organization and we should take responsibility for the decision we made".

  Clearly, you are not taking into account the vast majority of JWs like myself who were born to parents who gave us no real choice not to join. If I wanted to receive the love of a family including grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc. it was mandatory that I I join. What responsibility does a 12 year old take?    
• 

  3rdgen

  Julia,

  You are clearly a talented artist. Would it be possible for you to teach art either at a school or in the private sector? Have you exhibited your art anywhere but FB? Boutiques and restaurants sometimes are willing to display local artist's work. Have you networked with other local artists?

  I sincerely wish you the best with your recovery.  
• 

  violias

  I didn't DA myself b/c by the time I finally walked  out the door it was generally known I hated the ground the WTS walked on and despised them more than I could ever put in words. ( or put another way, would not have spit on them if they were on fire)  I have extended family who "got themselves df'd" on purpose to just get it over. I know others who have done that too.  I refuse to let them have that kind of control over my life. They have took so much time from my life and what time I have left I don't give a rat's behind what they think. Also we still have some jws family, but they all know how we feel.  They all unofficially shun us.  I too find less and less need for this board and more time out in the real world just living.  I have found a variety of discussion boards on subjects that interest me . I like to still come here and see what the WTS is UP TO now b/c if it is noteworthy it will be on this site. 

  Many of us have had therapy, me included and it is helpful. We have do what is best in our situation and only you know what is right for you.  

    

   
• 

  daringhart13

  Just. Walk. Away.

  If ANYONE follows......tell them you consider it a threat and are contacting the police.

  Fight through the damage they have done to your brain and..... just....walk.....away.
• 

  Muddy Waters

  Rebel8, I love what you said.... Your post (page 2 on this thread) about acceptance & moving on vs. forgiveness really struck a chord with me.  Thank you,  those were beautiful and insightful, healing words without the nauseating religious aspect!