I'm OK with that ... I'm sure you can make the difference by yourself (you did it without me telling you ... So ?)
Okay French, let me put it in context. A few days ago I made a post wherein I made the point that a lot of arguments is not about the subject under consideration, its about the people - or to use a word that doesn't sound so nice, its ego. This does not have to be a heated argument where people start calling names and such, but I think its useful to point out for the purpose of meaningful communication. In other words, are we really talking about the subject and here to explore it together, or are we here to talk about me and my point of view? I don't say that to imply sharing one's own view is bad, but I do appreciate it when people recognize that and even say it up front as many of the users on this forum often do.
The significance is if we are here to talk about the topic, we would be willing to explore different ideas to get into it deeper - which we can do without believing in them. Anyone who wants to see if a certain view on a given subject makes sense must be willing to consider if this possibility is true, and then what, and so on. On the other hand, if we are just here to talk about ourselves, then that is just a matter of self disclosure.
I think the confusion comes in when people don't know where they are coming from, that is are you really interested in talking about yourself or the ideas? If you are interested in talking about the ideas then it's not really a matter of "your" ideas in the sense that you own them or something, even if you say it first. Sometimes people don't even know this about themselves, let alone other people. Isn't this why people have heated arguments about religion, politics or anything else? People get upset because they feel they are challenged, if they really only thought an idea is being challenged then it is not a big deal. If we're really going to talk about something together, in this case a question, then we let that kind of attachment go and just dive into the topic.
So sorry for kind of a long post, but you can imagine getting clear about this can help in having a lucid conversation. Its just a matter of your intention.
