To JanH (page 3)

JanH

Talk about kneejerk reaction.

Bigboi and his friends have been posting a consistent malicious attack on my person for what must be the better part of a month. No insult has been too vile for him to post. He took great joy in telling he'd like to rape me and otherwise attack me physically. There were no limits to what he said, except that his little, petty brain limited him to write nothing but the most primitive insults. He instantly started racebaiting everyone who disagreed with him, which seems to be a favorite tactic on the board these days (to the best of my knowledge, it never happened on H2O through all those years). For some reason, when he called me "nazi" (not once, but consistently over a number of days, defending his own choice of word repeatedly) even his friends thought he had crossed the line.

So, being isolated, he posted what can basically be interpreted as "ok, I still mean all the rest, but forget about the nazi part, uh?"

This is supposed to be an apology? Should I even care?

It's so obvious this is just tactics from bigboi, leaving it to his buddy dannybear (whose only concern these days seems to be his penis size) to tell what a swell guy bigboi suddenly have turned in to over the last 2 days, and how "big" it is of him to ask me to forget about one of his hundred-somthing personal attacks on me. Of course, some people here are extremely naive, but what can one expect?

So, of course, I do not for a minute seriously entertain the idea that bigboi is remotely sincere. Then, I have three options. 1) I can lie and say I accept the apology. 2) I can ignore it altogether. 3) I can tell bigboi where to stuff his hypocritical non-apology.

- Jan
--
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. [Ambrose Bierce, The Devil´s Dictionary, 1911]

DannyBear

larc,

***Frankly, this whole thing gets tiresome. Who insulted who first and who was the most insulting. If individuals would just drop it, these endless, tiresome threads would go away, as well they should.
***

Be nice wouldn't it. Until such time, all poster's are accorded common courtesy, we will have 'tiresome' shit continue. Somehow JanH seems to think he has special license to act like a jerk. Maybe this is the only venue for his 'sick' demeanor.

If JanH didn't believe bigboi's appology was sincere, all he had to do was to ingore it. But instead he has to 'stomp his feet'...add additional insults, yeah bigboi really screwed up this thread. Not.

I will go you one further, he(bigboi) has had the admirable strength to not counter Mr Prick's, example. You tell me who has the real courage here?

You really want to stop all this abuse, larc? Whenever you see this type boorish conduct, call em on it! Every time we let it 'go away' it encourages further abuse.

Jan's turning his back on bigboi and stomping out the front door..wouldn't play well in real life, so why condone it here?

imo.

Danny

Prisca

Exactly, Dannybear.

ZazuWitts

JanH

This question begs to be asked:

If Bigboi had apologized to you one-on-one, via E-Mail - what would your 'reply' to him have been?

Mishnah

Ven, I merely spoke in reference to what I saw in this thread. I do not know you very well so it is entirely possible that my remarks were not accurate. But they were situational and I think that I rightly picked up on a hesitancy on your part to come right out and tell Jan what you really think. It's okay to restrain yourself according to how you see fit but I wanted to make a point that I think is valid, and that is that Jan is not very different from the org. or other intolerant groups or people. I mean, check him out! He doesn't care if one apologizes which shows a lack of concern for the feelings of others (almost a disdain for their feelings) and if you make any negative comments about what he says, if you disagree with him at all, he is offended by it and usually treats you with little or no respect from that point forward.

Intolerance is wrong and Jan needs to be made aware of his actions. I don't think he knows what he's doing. It's likely a lingering product from his past. But it's better to get these things out in the open.

Mishnah

bigboi

Hey Everybody:

Six:

Yep, it's been one of those weeks for me. Seems like I can't even say I'm sorry the right way, man.

To everyone else who posted on this thread:

Thanks for your comments and thoughts. I didn't really expect this to come up again. It fell from the first board a couple of days ago withno response from Janh and I thought that was the end of it. When it comes to making judgements about ppl we're all capable of making of our own decisions. So I don't see any benefit of turning this into another degenerative thread. I'm asking all of you to please let it drop and post no more responses. Thanks in advance.

ONE....

bigboi

"it ain't what ya do. it's how you do it" quote from the song "True Honeybunz" by Bahamadia

BugEye

JanH, as usual, I disagree with you.

Let it go man. Be the grown up, and if it is too hard, just pretend your all growded up.

Lets get on with life

BugEye

teejay

I am enjoying the development of this topic and despite what some may think, I think the it's an important one. Sixof Nine? You are straight up crazy, dude. You make me laugh out loud, bro! Love that dry humor ... keep it comin.'

It's because of folks like you Mishnah that I avoided Black Man's topic of complementing fellow posters. There are many that I already enjoy, then someone like you pops up and becomes an immediate favorite -- I'd have to keep editing my list!

I enjoy your compassionate tone, Danny, as always, as well as your efforts to bring about a reconciliation, but you may be missing something. As you know, I have no animosity toward Jan, only toward his occasional shoddy treatment of fellow members. I was the one who called big boi on his use of the Nazi term. As with Kent's use of nigger, big boi went too far. As I try to get a feel for what Jan thinks I'm also trying to understand his feelings.

It may very well be that big boi's remarks have cut Jan deeply. Do you, Danny, know Jan's personal or family history? I don't. Perhaps the term, used repeatedly by big boi, is one that Jan cannot easily overlook. I can't say whether it's a characterization that big boi really believes or if he meant the insult only to pass along the hurt that came his way via Kent.

It appears to me, however, that Jan has a point. His last post (above) where he says, "...leaving it to his buddy dannybear to tell what a swell guy bigboi suddenly have turned in to over the last 2 days, and how "big" it is of him to ask me to forget about one of his hundred-somthing personal attacks on me" is well worth pondering.

Big boi acknowledged in his initial remarks that Jan had, "never shown any hint of racial prejudice in any post" that big boi had ever read. That's quite a statement. If it's true, then why excoriate Jan with a racial slur of the worst kind when he had NEVER been guilty of sinking that low himself? That wouldn't be fair. And it wasn't fair. Why expect Jan to easily sluff off injuries that had been piling up and simply say, "oh... oh well, all's forgiven." The injury may be too deep. Jan's still a human being--We all have feelings.

Zazu asks a good question, though, considering the possible depth of the injury. I wonder about that one, too.

If Bigboi had apologized to you one-on-one, via E-Mail - what would your 'reply' to him have been?

Personally, I like that big boi did it here, since his words did kinda show a disrespect for not only Jan but possibly others we don't know about. But to bring about a genuine settlement of the issues between them email would have been the best course. Jan is right. But would email have made a difference? I wonder.

peace,
todd ~ hoping they work it out

bigboi

teejay:

Yeah, I know what I just assked everyone to do. Sue me. I had to respond to this. Yes, I did call JanH a nazi. I owned up to that, never meant it to be taken as a racial slur. I didnt even know that the Nazis were considered a race. I thought it was a political party that had racist overtones. That was my real insinuation. I spoke from anger and I should never have lost my self-control. I thought about semding him an email, but since I insulted the man publicly, I thought it best to apologize publicly. An apology is an apology regardless to where it's said. He's made his decision not to accept it and I accept that. I wasn't the only one hurling insults, I was insulted repeatedy myself by more than one individual over the past few days.
I didn't bring up race in any of those threads either, I responded to insinuations made about me because of my race in those threads. All you have to do is read them to see that. The word nigger was used repeatedly too I might add, yet the focus has consistently stayed on me and any other person that has spoken his mind about Janh's actions. To me that's a double standard.

If it's true, then why excoriate Jan with a racial slur of the worst kind when he had NEVER been guilty of sinking that low himself? That wouldn't be fair. And it wasn't fair. Why expect Jan to easily sluff off injuries that had been piling up and simply say, "oh... oh well, all's forgiven." The injury may be too deep. Jan's still a human being--We all have feelings.

I did it because i was angry, point blank. Again, I admitted as much when I apologized. Of course it wasn't fair to the man. That's why I apologized publicly to him. I didn't know how he would take it. I just assumed either he would accept or he wouldn't accept it. I mean that's about all that could happen. I don't think anyone should expect Janh to let it go easily, but given that he's insulted a slew of ppl, you just tend to think that he understands that sometimes things get out of hand and you say things you don't mean. You might understand me a bit more if you look up Kismet's post on Kent's apology thread.

Here's the link: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?site=3&id=7360&page=6

ONE....

bigboi

"it ain't what ya do. it's how you do it" quote from the song "True Honeybunz" by Bahamadia

mommy

Screw me once, shame on you.
Screw me twice, shame on me.

An apology does not require a reply or forgiveness.
An apology does not make a person a better person, or more respected.

wendy

To JanH

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