(A) SEX. I suppose this is a rather obvious statement since if you were a single devout dub who played the party line you weren't getting any. C'mon! I can't remember slicing booty pieces when I was a JW kid clear up to.....well, I'm almost ashamed to say, and the way I see it? It's payback time!
(B) HAVING MY BOTTOM MASSAGED. As a JW, I spent an innordinate amount of time on my ass. Frankly, I think this is what we all did on Sunday at the meetings as we duitifully observed the duities of being professional door-knockers and ass-sitters (I, was one of them). Fortunately after I left I married a licensed massage therapist who took into consideration my dilemma and who regularly uses his strong, nimble fingers to dig deep into my anal crevasse and bring those dead nerve endings back to life!
(C) WATCHING TV. It is a torturous responsibility to watch every freaking show that comes on TV, however its amazing all the TV I missed when I was a JW that's all new to me. Not the bad TV of course. I mean, why should a man of my stature be forced to study a piece of crap like Sewing with Nancy on PBS? Studying pieces of crap is clearly a job for people in the religion I left.