i didnt fade or da myself, i just havent turned up for the past 2 years, and they know i never will. why conform to their rules by da'ing yourself?
why take the time to "fade"?
by doogie 25 Replies latest jw friends
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Flip
"why did you take the time to fade away vs. just DAing yourself?"
Simple?someone once said, it?s better to fade because the WTBTS corporate financial exec's would rather you disassociate, immediately.
I think what is meant is, the stigma of disassociation is generally absolute with less time than the fader to chip away at the stupor of WTBTS congregational publication buyers, thus perpetuating a more profitable bottom-line for Corporate Jehovah.
Nothing personal, It's a business...the individual Jehovah's Witness is an expense until volumes of publications are purchased (donated) regularly and a liablility if not promoting the purchasing (donating) of said publications.
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Anne
I'm mostly just a lurker, but this thread is about something that I wrestled with.
I agree with Blondie's post that it's their rules and we don't have to play by them. For some of us to keep family relationships intact it is necessary to fade. I myself faded without really intending to, or knowing that other people had a name for it.
It would have been easier to just D/A myself and wrapped up all the loose ends in a nice package. It would have completely ended a chapter in my life. (I probably would not feel the need to lurk on sites such as this, or dwell on the JW thing at all. The finality of it is enticing.) But because of those I love, I will make it easier for them to have a relationship with me.
It also makes it easier to assist those who are blind to find their way. My youngest sister has been floundering in self imposed pioneer hell for quite some time. She knows she needs to do something else, but is afraid. For her being a JW is a part of her identity. I would not and could not take that away from her at this time in her life. But what I can do is offer her a life raft. Suggestions, questions, nudges in the right direction. Now she is going to go to college (in her mind so she can better support herself pioneering). Baby steps towards a different life. If I was D/A or D/F I would not be able to have any influence, instead I would be looked on as evil. It's the only loophole that I have.
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Netty
But because of those I love, I will make it easier for them to have a relationship with me.
Exactly Annie, good way to put it.
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dh
i think a lot of people fade because of how strict their congregations/families adhere to wt policy, even if it's just verbal policy, some people think elders are like jehovahs direct voice to them, so things are more extreme than they were for someone like me. i guess that's why they fade, as everyone said, because of family. i never faded, da or df myself.
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mamochan13
I agree with others here. It's all about family, and not losing that connection. There is really no other way to leave the JW's but fading if you don't want to lose your family.
Was thinking about that today, and just how horrible that is...if you are brought up a JW you can never just up and leave.