Let's share the good memories from the org.

by anew 44 Replies latest jw friends

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  Odrade

  Nina, you felt safe? that would have been nice. Even as a very young child I can't really say I felt safe. I always knew there was a "spanking" just around the corner. The majority of "spankings" revolved around "acting up" during "theocratic activities." I'd say there was a lot more anticipation of the fun I was supposed to have at meetings, in service and at congregation get-togethers, than there was actual fun. Plus the beatings kind of put a damper on the possible enjoyment.

  Oh, like LW, I was damn good at the softball games. That was fun. Again, it could have been fun without the JWs too... I had the HS coach wanting me on the team, but alas, no team sports for the "happy JW."

  O
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  seattleniceguy

  In the last congregation I was in, I felt happy because there were a lot of really cool people there. I had several friends with whom I could have really great conversations, and I have fond memories of those times.

  Of course, the reality of how they reacted when presented with information that challenged them has rather changed the quality of those memories. I now have friends that can talk about just as cool subjects, but who don't have an invisible fence preventing them from thinking about...oh, most of the cool topics in the universe. At the same time, I think about how cool my old friends would be if they could just unentangle their brains from the borg.

  Odrade - Just wanted to say I hear where you're coming from.

  SNG
• 

  undercover

  Of course, the reality of how they reacted when presented with information that challenged them has rather changed the quality of those memories. I now have friends that can talk about just as cool subjects, but who don't have an invisible fence preventing them from thinking about...oh, most of the cool topics in the universe. At the same time, I think about how cool my old friends would be if they could just unentangle their brains from the borg.

  Isn't it amazing how JWs have their head stuck in the sand? Even though I had some good friends in the borg, there was always taboo subjects. Some things are never discussed, period. If someone attempted to speak of some "evil" then the subject was changed or the gathering ended. It's easy for everyone to get along if you can't discuss differences in anything.

  With friends and acquaintances that I've made outside the borg, it's so different. We can sit and actually debate issues. We can disagree. We make a case for our argument. We even get upset sometimes. But it never hurts the friendship. It has helped me to be more tolerant of others and other viewpoints. Sometime I have to change my stance because of a good argument by the other person. As a JW, I never had to do that, because we were all of like mind. We all agreed so therefore we all had to be right.
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  anew

  Little Witch, I understand you feelings of isolation. I had a hell of a time in school, not even my parents began to know the degree as I never told them as I was embarrassed because I felt is was my fault. But....kids are mean, not just JW kids, those kids in school made my life hell! Where I live Baseball is not banned for JW's. Of course, you can't play on school teams, but with other JW's is ok. I think part of healing is letting go of the hate and hurt. That is why I started this thread. Just fyi
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  kls

  You are in a bad accident , you are walking across the street and you are hit by a car. You are taken the the hospital and in much pain , the doctors and nurses are all working on you and checking to see what is wrong, the pain is immense . You are found to have non life threatening injuries but you have may cuts and some internal injuries so you are admitted till you are well enough to be released. In the hospital you meet many nice people doctors , nurses , and friends that come to visit but all the while you never hear from the person that almost destroyed yourlife. You are finally well enough to leave with the memories of the good time you had with people you met in the hospital but you leave with bitterness and scares and a memory of the pain that cannot be forgotten.
  
  
  
  
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  GentlyFeral

  All right, a little comparison-shopping is in order. Fun times as...

  JW	UU	Pagan
  Forming Friendships
  Writing to JW pen pals: until the early seventies, you could write to a hall in a foreign country pretty much at random, and the elders would put the letter up on the board. I met a delightful family in England that way. Forbidden now. Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed hanging out and talking before and after meetings. In my first ten years, I did find a few people who were not particularly fake — but they were harder to find after the mid-eighties.	Women's spirituality group: monthly meeting, small, intimate group. Each month a different member would present a different topic, whatever she was most interested in, and boy did they do deep preparation! A wide variety, too: Various religions, biographies of famous women, and a couple of our own rituals: a Thanksgiving Haloa celebration and a sumbel at Halloween. Monthly "circle supper" at members' homes: a potluck where the guest list was decided by pulling names out of a hat. Assorted courses and classes at church where much Deep Talk about Serious Issues took place — which, actually, is a Unitarian's idea of a good time.	Full moon circle — great ceremonial headshrinkery and networking. Picked up Was picked up by my first girlfriend there. Witchcraft lessons — while they went on, I got very close to my teacher.
  Showing off/Self-expression
  Occasionally someone was asked to sing or play at a wedding. In one small rural congregation I visited, some good ole boys brothers would get together for a country jam session. My husband eventually found a couple of brothers to jam with in our hometown, but this was very infrequent.	Quarterly Open Mic night in the church, where the talent ranged from enthusiastic renditions of Monty Python sketches to professional-quality poetry and song. Weekly services frequently featured live music by local artists (some of them members of the congregation) and testimony from church members, mostly moving and articulate.	Planning of public rituals requires a keen eye for theater. The most elaborate rituals I ever attended featured a DJ or live music, ex tempore prayers and speaking-for-gods, and luscious decor.
  Playtime
  A zealous pioneer sister invited a dozen or so people over for Watchtower Study and Star Trek! — the dramatic TNG episode where Spock seems to defect to the Romulans. ... But it only happened once. Congregation picnics: I saw the end of this era. I won't mention the time a dear brother bought beer for a couple of slightly underage brothers and went sliding on blocks of ice in a local park.	Monthly folk-dance club at church Movie night in church members' homes Church picnic (not only was it announced in the church, but it actually took the place of one of the Sunday services each year!)	Pagan conventions are serious playtime, believe me. Think Burning Man, only smaller and in a hotel or new-age resort.

  gently feral
• 

  ScoobySnax

  Thanks anew.

  I remember many good times being a Witness. It was a part of me, and its a part I still carry with me even though I've faded away. I go to conventions and sit and watch as I've said before on here. To some extent yes I do feel like an outsider to it all, but something still draws me back there. And you know, even having explained that way I feel, another part of me is entharalled to see all the brothers and sisters, and listen to to the talks, and just watch. Its not a popular view here, I don't expect it to be either. But it is still a part of me. I'm used to being at other conventions of nurses and in stadiums of people, but there is nothing quite like a JW convention. They are truly unique.

  I miss my good friends I made, I miss making my mum happy, I miss many things, and I miss my happy memories.

  Scoob
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  anew

  Hey Scoob, I understand the part about making Mom happy. Mine is sad all the time about me. I can't live the life though. I honestly believe there was a time when the Society was for the most part sincere. That time is long gone. Things have changed. I miss some things though, I don't think that being here means you have to think like everyone else. Otherwise we may as well just go back to the org.
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  Gretchen956

  I too cannot in all honesty remember anything good to say. Since my dad was "weak" and we went to the hall with my mom only during my childhood, we were not considered good association. So I was isolated from the other hyper-JW kids in the congregation. I could not talk to or associate with the "worldy" kids, so I was isolated from them. For most of that time of my life I felt like I was always on the outside looking in. I believe I still am very socially retarded (don't know a better word for it) now with others due to this time of isolation.

  After I grew up I left for a period of time. After the birth of my son, I decided he needed to grow up with some religious guidance, so I went back. But my husband was not a witness so again I was not invited to get-togethers, etc. And, because I had been disfellowshipped before, I always felt like the elders were watching me. (just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me) lolol

  Anyway, my first real friendship, and the only one allowed me growing up, was my cousin who moved to town when I was 12. We clicked instantly and were always getting into trouble. We had real fun together. But then the guilt would set in, and she would usually end up going to the elders to tell them what we had been doing and how I instigated it. Then I would go in and sit before the elders and ... well, you know.

  Now she is also out and we remain friends 30+ years later. But most of my real friends have been made outside of the organization, and have stood the test of time.

  So any good times for me were usually when I was doing something I shouldn't be.

  Sherry
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  Glenmore

  Yep it was the good times with the people as I remember, and it often included alcohol. There was a local family with a Bethelite, and when he came home he would always have a party with only the "A" list invited. Always lots of fun. I remember Odrade there one time. The A list were the ones who would not tell the Elders if something a little over the top happened. In the later years I would always bring the beer, since I worked for a brewery. And I would have them over to play pool, I had a keg too. I cannot hear the first Counting Crows' album or Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody without thinking of Tim Altimus, Josh Sommer, Larry and Mona Gould and Diana Alter. And those were happy times. We had bunco and poker parties, playing for points and gifts for the winners - we had unXmas Eve and non-New Years Eve parties to boot! I got talked to a few times - I was told that the word was for the older youths that if you wanted a good time go to the James'. I am happy to be of service! Glen