Seattleniceguy you said it really well. I left ten years ago and put it aside. that is why i am here now. I haven't dealt with it. didn't even deal with religion or god for years. even defended the witnesses and told people to talk to them. I still had a nagging fealing they were the truth because it was too hard to think they weren't. and the fear and guilt would set in. I had nightmares about armageddon for years. then my beginning four years ago my siblings began to leave one by one. my eldest sister was so hardcore in the organization that for her to leave it was really an eyeopener. it was her that told me to come to this site. she said that scully really helped her through a lot. when she began to reveal the hypocrisy such as the pedophilia coverups,etc. I really began to listen
I still don't know what i believe, I just know that for now I must avoid organized religion because I need to examine everything from the outside looking in. but therapy is a good start. you need to work on yourself and other inner demons before you can truly tackle the effects of the cult. just be open to any knowledge no matter how far out it may seem. then you slowly, and I mean slowly, formulate your own faith.
thank you to everyone else. I keep following sam's posts because you all seem to be talking to me too.
stephanie