Does anyone know about ADD in adults?

by Mulan 22 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  VeniceIT

  Well um Mom has ADD, she's more funny than annoying although she has been talking a lot this weekend I have to keep thrwoing her out my room so I can get some stuf done HAHAHAHHA!!!!

  I was wondering if her recent sickenss might have taken some of it out of her but apparently not. It's kinda sad, 'cause D's a good kid and you LOVE all the other kids and they're mates (Yes they're all very cool, and fun to be around).

  But this one only needs to step in the room for a few sec's to make you cringe. Hmmmm I think it sounds like it might be an emotional hang up that was mentioned. Never feeling like she was good enough, or ever have anyone to really talk to. I had a friend like that it drove me crazy, so maybe omce they're married he'll give her the confidence she needs to accept who she is and not be so ummm 'ON' ya that's the word.

  I wish this for you sake (as well as mine 'cause I get the emails HHAHAHHHA)

  Ven
• 

  logical

  what causes it? is it chemicals in food, water etc?
• 

  Roamingfeline

  Mulan,

  My youngest daughter displays these symptoms. Her father was like that also. The main problem with this disease is IMPULSIVENESS. They start doing these things (interrupting, chattering, bossing, etc) without thinking about it first. Ridiculing them only makes it worse, because it hurts their self-esteem. Which is probably what has happened to her as she was growing up.

  It's not easy to live with, believe me! My little one is five years old, and let me tell you, she talks a blue streak when people are around. Tells everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING she knows. My hubby once in awhile will just plain get tired of hearing her voice, and tells her, "I don't want to hear your voice for the next 15 mins!"
  because you can't hold a conversation without her joining in with her .02! I realize she's slightly hyperactive, but that's the least of her problem. Impulsiveness is where it begins. No brakes. No sense to know when to stop. And she is the most curious human being I've ever known. Listens to everything and absorbs like a sponge! Highly intelligent, but waaaaaay too impulsive. Interrupting people and being extremely impatient are her hallmarks. We have to constantly remind her and repeat to her to control these behaviors.

  On the more positive side, she's very sunny in her usual disposition, very joyful, loves nature, and is very loving. She's just talkative and opinionated! lol

  My suggestion is to either you or your son have a chat with her, and let her know that certain behaviors are highly annoying and will not endear her to people.

  What I have found that helps with my little one is constant repetition. She is so impulsive that she moves before she thinks. It can tire a person out just trying to be one step ahead of her! lol She has a very controlling personality. Her father was one to throw tantrums like a child and demand his way all the time. She'll use the same expressions and has the same attitude, and I know it can be very difficult to deal with on a daily basis!

  Good luck, and I hope things get better!
  RCat
• 

  LDH

  Not to mention she IS 22, ha ha ha.

  No slam intended, but a part of youth is inexperience and a know-it-all attitude.

  Lisa
• 

  Mulan

  Thank you for all the good suggestions.

  She is a very smart girl, with a high IQ, but was labeled dumb, by
  her teachers in elementary school, who hadn't heard of dyslexia, I think. By the time she reached middle school, the family had moved to
  a big city, and she was found to be very bright, but had spent her early years being ridiculed by everyone. She literally has no friends. It's a good thing she has three sisters, and a future sister in law, or she wouldn't have any bridesmaids either.

  Anyway, I think some of you have hit the nail on the head about her lack of self esteem. I will try to work on my attitude towards her.
  Her parents love her very much, but they know she is a bit hard to take too, and have said a couple of things to me, about giving her time.

  An example of one of her annoying habits: I am in the kitchen cooking, and she comes in and asks how I am, for the 10th time today. I look at her and I say "still fine". She asked me that 5 minutes before. When I walked into the room where she was, she asked me again. I ignored her. So she followed me into my computer room, and read my email over my shoulder, commenting on things written to me. I was worried she would do that today while I was reading these posts.

  Anyway, Jan and roamingfeline, Lindy, joel, Zazu, all made really good suggestions. Venice, I forgot your Mom had it too. She is NOT like that. And as for her illness, when we were in the emergency room, she was telling the nurse how to insert the IV. I wanted to scream at her to shut up!! The nurse said "excuse me?" I started laughing, it was so funny. And I said, "ignore her, she tells everyone how to do their jobs." But, the RN didn't think it was funny.

  I am going to work on building her self esteem, if I can stand it.

  Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
• 

  Princess

  Hi! Can I join in the fun? I think Jan is right on with the self esteem thing. Except she knows she has a high IQ and therefore thinks she has the right to tell us all how to do everything. She doesn't realize a high IQ doesn't mean naturally full of knowledge. It's amazing though, that nothing fazes her. Last summer she was doing a little lesbian bashing and my cousin pointed out that her sister was a lesbian and it didn't stop her, she just kept right on bashing. I was in shock. Mulan sent her to the store to get rid of her. I really wish we could stop this wedding but I think any interference would make him all the more resolved to marry her. I've been trying for two years to like her and like Venice said, you just cringe when she comes in the room.

  Mom, I think we are stuck with her. I like the "in your face" thing that was mentioned earlier. "I will let you know when I am done talking". Might work. I'm going to try it.

  Princess
• 

  Roamingfeline

  Aha! Now I see what you're talking about. The girl is smart, but SOCIALLY IGNORANT. This is the sort of "thick-headedness" that is most difficult to deal with. Not knowing what social boundaries are.
  It wasn't learned in childhood. That is what my daughter does. And believe me, we have to work at it every day to teach her that there are things you just do not do. Like interrupt when adults are speaking unless it's a real emergency. Like not hitting your friend just because she's playing with the doll that you want to play with. Like not going to someone's house and asking them if you can eat their food or take something home that belongs to them because you would like to have it. Social skills. Common sense. Things that ADD people seem to not have picked up by osmosis.

  Okay folks, I'll give you some advice here based on experience, for what it's worth. With these type of people you have to be VERY DIRECT. You must draw your boundary lines with no uncertainties left for her to bulldoze over them. If you do this consistantly, she'll get the message.

  For instance, Mulan, if she starts to read over your shoulder? Minimize the screen, turn your chair around, look her directly in the eye, and ask, "Were you never taught that it is ill-mannered to read someone else's private letters?" Wait for her answer, and go from there. Don't let her cross your boundaries, and be consistant. She needs re-training. She obviously was not taught social skills in early childhood. OUt of love, you and your family can do this for her. She will thank you for it someday.

  Once again, Good luck!
  RCat
• 

  Cowboy

  My 8 year old son has ADD.He exhibits many of the symptoms that have been nentioned-talks constantly,interupts others,etc...We have been trying to avoid medication,but it looks like we may have to try it.He,too is very intelligent,and wants badly to avoid taking the meds,so we keep trying...
  Logical asked what causes ADD.It is a neurological disorder,genetically linked to Parkinsons Disease.

  Cowboy
• 

  Tanalyst

  "asks how I am" for the 10th time

  being forgetful is quite common with ADD people

  A good therapist could be finished with her in 3-6 months.If her insurance will cover it,she'll be glad she went.

  A good book is "Driven to Distraction". Both Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison had ADD, so she's in good company.

  "Many with ADD have a "special something," a hard to pin-down yet undeniable potential. If that potential can tapped the results can be spectacular." good luck
• 

  Roamingfeline

  Yep, I agree, Tanalyst.. if you can just stand the person long enough to get that special something to bloom! lol

  RCat