by AGuest 28 Replies latest jw friends
You know, in the "Charlie Brown" animated cartoons, whenever a grownup talks it's always the sound of a muted trumpet going "Qua qua qua qua quah quah quow"?
Why is it that Shelby's "words of Jaheshua Michouacan" always have that playing in the background?
COMF
"I'm special... sooooooo special... I gotta have some of your... attenshun... give it to me!"
Gee Cap'n, and here I was think'n Jaheshua Michouacan was Checoslovakian for Dishwasher Machine.
unc who listens to his whitegoods.
Because I don't speak your 'language', Cap'n. And because even if I did, you're 'deaf'... and dumb. Because your 'hearing aid' only gets one station... W-LAKE Gehenna... and therefore can only 'tune in' to 'expressions inspired by demons'.
But then, you already KNEW that, didn't you?
Careful, Cap'n, 'cause what those speedos are 'revealing' is TRULY... a DISGUSTING 'THING'. 'Small' wonder (pun intended).
A slave of Christ, who speaks the language of 'truth', something you, of course, could never receive... or comprehend.
SJ
Ahhh... the 'boyz' are 'back in town'... Unk, Farkel and COMF.
Unk...
How come I'm Shelby's cyber better half? I don't remmember a ceremony or even the honeymoon.
You were drunk. You're always drunk... and to be honest, I'm quite tired of it.
Are you thus honoured as well?
Nahhh... Farkel has 'issues' with women, 'Rev. He couldn't 'handle' me any better than you can...
Would this make Shelby a cyber polygamist?
Nahh, I can only 'handle' one 'o you buggin' wankers at a time.
cheers old cock, unc playing with himself.
Thank goodness it's with yourself this time, 'cause I'm beginning to find your 'reindeer games' quite boring and elementary. Hmmm... maybe I SHOULD look for another 'husband'. How 'bout it D.? Nahhh, you might be 'intelligent, but like I said, you got women 'issues'...
Farkel...
I'm married to my right hand. It works, but it ain't the best in life.
Try your left hand, then.
It plays fair though, and doesn't lie to me nor does it deceive me.
That's what YOU think. Trust me... it's deceiving you... BIG TIME. It's telling you that you're 'all that'... what a lie.
Most of all, it doesn't seek to take everything I've worked for...
Maybe not right now, but I promise you, if you spend TOO much time with her... uh, it... uh, them...
but then again, everything I worked for was taken because I was formerly "unevenly yoked."
Blame your lawyer. And if YOU were your own lawyer, blame yourself.
"Yokes" are for oxen and other beasts-of-burden, but not humans.
Says who? "Yokes" simply help one carry a 'load'. Man and beast. People used yokes to haul water from the wells, and goods to the marketplace, etc., etc., etc...
Human relationships should be glorious and not burdensome. They are.
Indeed, I think you asked... and with the word 'should' answered... your own question.
Your version is just as goofy, though.
"Goofy"... is in the 'eye' of the beholder, Farkel. Got somethin' in your eye? A 'rafter' perhaps? Need some help taking it out? I recently had a 'straw' extracted from mine. Matter-of-fact, get 'em removed all the time. I can show you how to do it, but it means thinking JUST A TAD less of yourself. Feelin' 'up' to it? Wait, I'll let you confer with your right... er, left... no, right... hand. Uh, oh, no... that's not the 'brain' YOU think with... is it?
COMF...
See direct response.
Peace... to those of you who 'receive' it... and none to those of you who don't.
A slave of Christ, who truly marvels at the nastiness consistely displayed by you boyz... and I mean that in all pertinent senses of the word...
SJ
Dearest 'Angel... may you have peace!
Glad I could be of some assistance in offering something other than the falsehood taught by the WTBTS. Of note is the FACT that there is NO mention whatsoever of fleshly marriage whatsoever... in the ENTIRE book of 2 Corinthians. None.
Again, peace to you... and to your mother as well.
A slave of Christ,
SJ
Hey!
Where can I sign up to be a slave of Christ? Iv been a free man for over 16 years now and I have to tell you really suck at it. I need guidance, I need discipline, I need a place where I can go and meet other wannabe slaves and tell them about my sins. I want to confess my sins in graphic detail, especially the one about the LA Raider cheerleader I use to date (I got pictures). I want to cry profusely as I cleans my sole of the state of sin I was born into and had no damn choice in the matter. I want to hold hands with others like me and drink from the cup of true freedom and mountain fresh waters. I want to be subservient to older and wiser people who have the IQ of an Oreo Cookie. I want to feel shame and guilt like I have never felt it before. I want to stand on a table top and look up to the heavens and scream at the top of my lungs "Jesus Christ"!!! I want.....I want...I.....hey, wait a second... I can get all this watching a football game at a nudie bar.
Never mind.
Dave
I know I'm bad, god made me that way
hey All:
Farkle said:
It plays fair though, and doesn't lie to me nor does it deceive me. Most of all, it doesn't seek to take everything I've worked for, but then again, everything I worked for was taken because I was formerly "unevenly yoked."
Man, seems like someone wasn't handlin his "business" quite well enough, huh? Perhaps if ol Fark was into "yokin" the ex as much as he's into "yokin" ol Palmela Wright, then maybe she would've taken him and the money too. LOL!!!!!!!!
ONE.....(who always hits it right, even if I have to "yoke" that thang)
bigboi
"it ain't what ya do. it's how you do it" quote from the song "True Honeybunz" by Bahamadia
you're 'deaf'... and dumb.
Hey, wow, y'all! The Holy Spirit of Jaheshua Michouacan just insulted me! How many of you punk-ass heretic-wannabees can say that, huh? Eat your hearts out, you insignificant scoffers.
Because your 'hearing aid' only gets one station... W-LAKE Gehenna... and therefore can only 'tune in' to 'expressions inspired by demons'.
I hear ya, AGuest, honey! I hear ya!
Careful, Cap'n, 'cause what those speedos are 'revealing' is TRULY... a DISGUSTING 'THING'.
Now, Shelby, hon, I have accepted your fascination and love-hate obsession with me, but I must ask you to keep your sexual fantasizing about me out of the public forum, please. After all, I haven't said anything about all that flesh you cram into your straining Just My Size "Woman-N-Then-Some" panties.
'Small' wonder (pun intended).
Shelby told me to kiss her ass a while back, folks. I told her I would, except, it would take all day and I had stuff I had to get done.
A slave of Christ, who speaks the language of 'truth', something you, of course, could never receive... or comprehend.
"Qua qua qua qua quah quah quow"
Peace... to those of you who 'receive' it... and none to those of you who don't.
Aw, now, Shelby! You sure are talking mean here in front of all these folks, after all those nice things you were saying to me in bed last night.
COMF
"Not unless fired upon, suh... not unless fired upon."
****Ahhh... the 'boyz' are 'back in town'... Unk, Farkel and COMF****
ROTFLMAO!! .. God I knew that'd be your reaction! .. as soon as the Capt'n swaggered in. um sorry Shelby - I only replied to your post to stop it going down the gurgler .. how was I to know old pals would break loose? break loose, break windbag whatever ..
Of course you're tired of us male, know it all, good for nothing smug bastards taking the piss everytime you open your heart. It's fun though Shelby and you're tough as a mallee bull and present such an easy target.
.. truth is .. you're irresistable .. it's animal magnetism I tell ya! .. sorry Shelby the more time I spend away from the ex-jw world the more I am returing to my true nature as a giggling taoist, nothing is serious nothing matters, least of all you or me.
I really didn't mean to hurt you Shelby you're a great gal and that will never change.
cheers, cyber seperated unc (who may not get back to this thread - there I go .. back to the bush .. a laughing as I go)
PS: Shelby I know you ain't really 'tough as a mallee bull' no one is. (I think Phoeby is a much nicer handle than AGust) LifesWaterFree had a bit of oomph to it too.
COMF - Shelby's a great gal, one in a million, I don't care if she marches to a different drum (like the one in her spin dryer) she pisses all over some other old h20 lame brained posters you count as friends, how about trying to see Shelby's humanity and spirituality beyond those censoring blinkers of yours? I too see you as deaf and dumb but prefer to think of it as an act .. (I gotta enroll in that phsyciatry course! ;) I guess I'm trying to say 'go easy on the girl - you might learn something' - stranger things have happened.
unc who had trouble framing the sentence above, but it'll have to do.
PS: You sussed out anything spiritual yet or you still think stuff comes from nothing? .. hee hee hee .. spinning unc.
Shelby my friend,
: Ahhh... the 'boyz' are 'back in town'... Unk, Farkel and COMF.
: Unk...
You said this about Unk:
"You were drunk. You're always drunk... and to be honest, I'm quite tired of it."
You made the accusation: define "always." Be specific. I will give you a quiz. "Always" means "always," i.e 24 hours a day, year-after-year. Do you actually BELIEVE your accusation, Shelby, or would you have the honesty to clarify it?
: Nahhh... Farkel has 'issues' with women, 'Rev. He couldn't 'handle' me any better than you can...
I have issues with life, Shelby. Women are part of life, aren't they? What is so wrong with my quest about "issues" in life? Am I so wrong to want to think about them and maybe even find a way to deal with them in my life?
You were asked:
: Would this make Shelby a cyber polygamist?
You said:
: Nahh, I can only 'handle' one 'o you buggin' wankers at a time.
You have your own issues, dear friend of mine. You just said a lot about your views about men in that statement. Until you can resolve them, do you think you can offer me unbiased advice?
: Thank goodness it's with yourself this time, 'cause I'm beginning to find your 'reindeer games' quite boring and elementary. Hmmm... maybe I SHOULD look for another 'husband'. How 'bout it D.? Nahhh, you might be 'intelligent, but like I said, you got women 'issues'...
I AM intelligent, Sheby. If you don't believe that, just ask me!
"Husbands" ain't your problem, my good friend. I am fascinated with you. You have a husband, and I don't mess with other's relationships. Ask God what is right. God might know and he might tell you what to do. Maybe not. I am not a marriage-wrecker kind of guy. Jerk? Yes. Do I take a few test drives now-and-then. Test drives are sparse these days, but fun when they happen! I'm a GUY! But I NEVER mess with married women. My former wife messed around with a married guy who was 11 years younger than her, divorced my sorry ass, married that sucker and it messed her and our children up. I will never do what she did. Sometimes folks get lucky and marry their soul-mate. This is rare.
God may talk to you Shelby, but he doesn't talk to me. He doesn't give a shit about me and probably doesn't even like me. If he did give a shit he could pop in and say "Hi!" from time-to-time. He has hever done that. It's pretty crappy in life if even God doesn't like you. God doesn't like me. He won't talk to me like he does to you. He doesn't call me a "dickhead." He doesn't call me anything. If God would have taken the time out of His day to just speak to me and say "Farkel, you ARE a dickhead!'" then I would be impressed.
I have no reason to be impressed so far.
Farkel
