Sometimes I don't know where I belong in the 'Christian Community'

by Love, Me 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Love, Me

  I'm having a personal crisis of sorts I guess. I left the organization because I realized it was a big lie. I was especially struck when I found out that the society's position on Christ as mediator was that He was only mediator for the 144K. I started reading the new testament as if they applied to me and not to the so-called elect.

  Anyway, bottom line is that after a couple of years exploring other beliefs my heart kept going back to Christ. I believe in Him and accept him. My problem is that I am feeling a loathing toward Christendom. I hate the way Christians in the US are so heavily involved in politics. It's an embarrassment to me and a worry. I mean, it really does seem like Christendom is the great harlot riding the wild beast. Yet I know the WTS interpretations are BS too. I don't think it will ever seem right to me for Christians to work so hard to change US laws to suit our beliefs. As far as I'm concerned, if someone wants to have an abortion or marry their gay lover, who am I to impose my beliefs on them? Why are so many high profile Christians trying to cram morality down people's throats? I honestly do not understand the mentality. Maybe I still believe in neutrality and trying to help the sinner instead of bashing them.

  I want to serve Christ but I'm finding it hard to want to associate myself with those who are claiming to speak in His name. Have any other Christians here found themselves in this kind of dilemma? It's a different kind of crisis of conscience I guess. Sometimes if feels like I traded one false religion for another. I still believe in the Lord Jesus but feel lost among his people...
• 

  frankiespeakin

  So do you want people to associate with basically right?

  Why limit it to people who all think like you do,,it will only stunt your growth mentally. Group think.
• 

  Love, Me

  I don't limit my friends to Christians. In fact, my best & closest friends are not the church type. I'm frustrated because I have a desire to worship but don't really enjoy Christians/church all that much. Maybe I'm just a lost cause. lol. I think being a JW for so long makes me want to avoid feeling obligated to a group, if that makes sense.
• 

  XQsThaiPoes

  Um christ is only the mediator for the "so called elect". Thats why I don't trust christianity. The invention of purgatory or in JWs case "the new system" are attempting to solve the same problem. The Jesus never really said what he would do to the people that he didn't call so of slaghtering every one of them, but if he has the power to call people and he does not use it and a person dies isnt he bloodguilty? Various christians groups (and even "pagans") over the years have made up beliefs to awnser this paradox. Most involve some type of quest in the afterlife or next life that allows you to enter what ever the realm of the holy men after you pay your karmatic debit, even in christianity.
• 

  frankiespeakin

  LM,

  I think being a JW for so long makes me want to avoid feeling obligated to a group, if that makes sense.

  Trust your instincts here you are right. Why join a group they will only make you feel obligated. And then you might get into cult thinking all over again.
• 

  Narkissos

  Hi LM,

  I hate the way Christians in the US are so heavily involved in politics. It's an embarrassment to me and a worry. I mean, it really does seem like Christendom is the great harlot riding the wild beast. Yet I know the WTS interpretations are BS too. I don't think it will ever seem right to me for Christians to work so hard to change US laws to suit our beliefs. As far as I'm concerned, if someone wants to have an abortion or marry their gay lover, who am I to impose my beliefs on them? Why are so many high profile Christians trying to cram morality down people's throats? I honestly do not understand the mentality. Maybe I still believe in neutrality and trying to help the sinner instead of bashing them.

  I guess your problem is not with "Christendom" (WT generalization) but with fundamentalist Christians. They are certainly not the only ones in your area even though they may be the most conspicuous. I have only a very vague idea of American Christianity, but I'm sure many people on this board can help you with this.
• 

  Love, Me

  Narkissos - THANK YOU!! Yes, I think that is what's been eating at me. I feel like they're giving all Christians a bad name. And yet, I do believe that a Jesus worshiping church shouldn't condone sin but neither do I believe they should condemn sinners with such venom. Where is the balance?
• 

  kwintestal

  I think being a JW for so long makes me want to avoid feeling obligated to a group, if that makes sense.

  That make a lot of sense. The JW's build themselves up by exposing the wrongs of other churches. So you feel that after you leave the WTS, that there is nowhere to go because you don't trust ANY church.

  My advise is do and live as Jesus did. Help people in your community. Pray.

  Remember that Jesus said that there is "one faith" not "one church".

  Mr. and Mrs. Kwin (a combination of thoughts)
• 

  Love, Me

  I really appreciate the thoughtful replies. I guess it does boil down to not trusting any church. If I can be fooled so thoroughly once as a JW I feel so vulnerable to becoming a victim again, but of a new lie.

  My advise is do and live as Jesus did. Help people in your community. Pray.

  Yes -thank you so much for that advise. This is what I envisioned a Christian life to be like when I first left the org and decided to follow what I thought was a real Christian path. I feel disillusioned with Fundamentalism. It's really a lot like the WTS in the hard line approach and judgmental, holier than thou attitude. It's hurting, not helping the community, in my opinion. I just can't envision Jesus approving this over-zealous involvement in politics. It was never his style.
• 

  little1

  I feel much the same as you do. I am a very spiritual person, but after years of being a fundamentalist, fire breathing, black and white thinking Christian, I have left religion behind. I find that associating with other spiritually minded people-in my case I go to Al Anon-and reading and praying and being open to being lead I am quite content. I have a great relationship with God and find that very fulfilling.

  My mother can't understand, no matter how many times I expalin it to her, that I can be close to God without going to church. I find that in church there are too many "triggers" that give me the willies-old bad feelings coming back. Too many in the churches are black and white-you're wrong/I'm right thinkers and that just doesn't fit with what I believe anymore. I think we're all responsible for ourselves and what someone does is between him and God-it's not up to me to say they are right or wrong. Which doesn't mean that I tolerate bad behavior, I have boundaries, but ultimately they are making their own path and I have mine.

  I think if you keep seeking God, you'll find him, and you are probably least likely to find him in church.

  I wish the churches would enforce that whole "separation of church and state" thing. Too many have the political agenda in the pulpit and on the signs out front.

  L1