Should I teach my kids about Santa Claus? (Lie vs. Harmless Fantasy) (page 3)

heathen

Well all I can say is yes I've actually heard some people say that christ was born on christmas day . The facts show it not even possible even in the gospel accounts . The fact is that the catholic church wanted to replace the feast of saturnalia with something that they deemed holy . It's not a holy day at all .

Bona Dea

AA, I'm sorry I can't understand your wording...does your 6 year old believe in Santa?

As to the statement about December 25 not being Christ's b-day...Who cares? My granddad was born sometime in the late 1800s (he's passed away now) and no one is quite sure what year he was born, let alone what month and day. So, we designated a date and that was the day we celebrated. He never complained. Neither did we.

As to the date being derived by a cult...once again - a resounding "who cares?" Many things we observe, the days of the week, the wedding bands on some of our fingers have origins in paganism, the occult, cultic activity, christianity, and so on and so on. Big hairy deal!! I know we don't want to catch cult (or religiously influenced) cooties or worse spread them to our kids. I believe treating things like this with the level of paranoia that some do can be likened to the extremist mentality of many of these "cults" - No offense.

Good luck AA. I hope you and your wife can reach a peaceful compromise.

AlmostAtheist

It's impossible to *prove* that Santa doesn't have some well-concealed, toy manufacturing outpost somewhere above the arctic circle, that's true. But it's hardly the point.

The point is that *I* don't believe in him, but I'm considering talking about him as if *I* do. That's the lie part of it. Whether he actually exists or not really isn't the point.

And the fact that it is "steeped in paganism" isn't important to me, either. It's just the outright deception that bugs me.

In the thread pointed to from a few years ago, the point is made that we play with our kids all the time. "Let's be cowboys" or "Look! An alien!", but the difference is that you start and end that fantasy the same day, usually within minutes. And you aren't trying to convince your children that the fantasy is true. It's make-believe, but you're both make-believe'ing. In the santa/easter bunny/tooth fairy scenario, one of you is make-believing and the other thinks it's true.

A good point is made, though, that it's a long-term game. Like a very lengthy game of pretend, that terminates when the kids realize of their own accord that you were only pretending.

Good points on both sides. If Gina didn't want to do it, I'm sure I wouldn't give it a second thought. But because it's so important to her, and I can't see the harm, I'll probably go along with it. The supposed harm doesn't seem to actually come about. It didn't hurt me, it didn't hurt most of you.

Thanks for all your help and reasoning. And experience.

Dave

Princess

If you hadn't been a witness, this would most likely be a non-issue for you.

I hadn't really considered the Santa issue when my kids were born. We gradually began celebrating as they became aware of the holiday. Both kids were always totally freaked out by Santa and I had to assure them we weren't going to be visiting him at the mall. One day we were going to be meeting their cousin at Santa at the mall but I was very emphatic that they were not going to be expected to talk to him, just wait with Graysen while she visits. After Graysen sat with Santa and got her picture taken, Rhys just suddenly decided to go for it and walked over and climbed on his lap. He was four. I then had to scramble to buy the gift he had asked Santa for. Steve and I didn't see any harm in it and Santa has visited our house on Christmas Eve ever since.

Zoe says she doesn't think he's real but she isn't taking any chances. She knows when she stops believing, he stops coming. That's my line. She told me she thinks he might just be a man in a costume but she asked for 2 hermit crabs anyway. She insists that reindeer can't fly and he must ride his bike or something.

Rhys is just too smart for the Santa story but he won't let on that he doesn't believe. I think he simply won't go there in his brain.

Have fun with it. I think it's different if your kids grow up with Christmas than if you take it up after leaving the JWs. There is more of a fantasy for kids that grow up with Christmas.

AlmostAtheist

If you hadn't been a witness, this would most likely be a non-issue for you.

Almost surely, I agree.

<thumps head>Out! Out, vile cult thinking! I command you in the name of Santa!

Thanks, all. You've been extremely helpful!

Dave

JustTickledPink

I believe in Santa Claus and I'm 30 yoa... I love it! I think you can teach your kid about Santa without LYING to them, because the myth of Santa is true. I mean seriously, you see Santas everywhere this time of year... and lights and the magic of it all.

Your kids will watch cartoons too... now they see Sponge Bob Sqaurepants all over, are you going to filter all that and tell them how Sponge Bob isn't a REAL person? He's a cartoon,,, same as Santa is. I think of Santa as a cartoon figure.... and I love it all. I wish as a child I had been able to experience Christmas.

Did you ever watch "A Christmas Story" with little Ralphie? It's so magical, him waking up and getting his BB gun, even though he almost poked his eye out.

Not everything is literal. Some things are magical! Just visit Disneyworld and you'll see.

Happy Guy :)

I don't want to look into my kid's eyes and tell her something that I know for a fact isn't true.

Fact is AA parents do this all the time and often it is justified or in the child's best interests.

I was much like you in that I vowed when my kids were little to never tell a lie to them. I reasoned that it was not fair to them and later in life it would hurt my credibility with them on major issues.

What I found is that there is a time and a place for full, honest and plain disclosure to our children. There are circumstances which call for this for their own emotional security so as far as your comment it may very well be unavoidable if you and your family encounter complex situations.

On the subject of Christmas:

I have found that my kids love Christmas and the Tooth Fairy and a whole bunch of other fun stuff - just as I did when I was young.

I come from a view that it is harmless fun. If you are of the same view then you probably have no worries. You will even find that the concept of the tooth fairy to a little child who is smarting from a lost tooth really helps to ease the pain and discomfort of it all.

By the time your kids start school they will hear the rumours of whether Santa is real etc. What I did was told my kids that truth about Santa and explained the reasoning behind why adults make-believe about Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy: To enhance the fun for the children.

My children were never upset with me and in fact understood the whole concept and that it was fun. As they grew I watched them participate in these tales of Santa with their nephews and freinds younger brothers and sisters. It was just as enjoyable for them.

If this is a matter of religious conscience for you regarding lingering doubts or fear then that is a whole different matter.

kwintestal

My kids (4 and 6) were raised JW's and this will be their first Christmas. They believe in Santa, but in the same way as they believe in Mickey Mouse, Shrek or Cinderella, not as a real being, but more of a fairy tale creature.

It's a tough desicion though, isn't it?

Kwin

Dawn

I Its really a personal decision - I'm sure that whatever you decide is best for you and your children will be the right thing to do. Being raised JW I was inclined not to teach my kids about Santa - but my husband (never a JW) insisted. I went along with his wishes.

My son (now an adult) was about 9 when he figured out Santa couldn't be real. He wasn't upset - but when he asked me for the truth I told him. I explained about the legend of St. Nick and why people still like to "pretend" that he exists - and that we wanted him to have fun and experience the holidays as a magical time. My daughter (now 6) still believes.

Some kids may resent that their parents lied (like Big Tex) - but I think it really depends on the relationship you have with your kids. If a parent has been untrustworthy and a terrible parent the child will most likely just chalk the Santa lie up as one more thing they did wrong. However, if a child has parents that really love them, and they feel protected and cherished - they probably won't resent their parents for perpetuating a chrismas time fantasy.

Mystery

Duncan -

I almost fell out of chair laughing at the end of your post. You son sounds like one of mine.

When ask about Santa now - at 15 yrs & 16 yrs - my 15 yr old says yes; my sixteen says no.

I didn't 'force' Santa on them; i didn't make up elaborate stories to prove it true or false.

I understand your wife wanting to see the sparkle in your child?s eyes when Christmas rolls around and they see Santa for the first time of the season. It is up to you as to how you teach your child to observe Santa/Christmas Season. Will your child automatically see Santa and think ?PRESENTS? or will your child see Santa and think ?time to share?

Should I teach my kids about Santa Claus? (Lie vs. Harmless Fantasy)

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