im a jw learning the real truth about them............i was born into this foolish religion for as long as ican remember i was never ever comfortable at a meeting there was always people snickering behind my back i hated going to the meetings..........all these people do is gossip but i never opened my mouth against them they really are heartless
What is your most ridiculous example of being shunned?
by formerout 46 Replies latest jw experiences
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shamus
Needinfo,
Check out the Quotes website. Nothing but Watchtower quotes, no opinions, nothing. Truly disturbing, and will confirm everything that you believe about they're bizarre practices.
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FairMind
AK – Jeff
Your sentiments pretty well sum up my observations. I have never been df’d or da but have and do experience shunning because of the “unfounded” rumors that I’m a borderline apostate. I remember several years ago a new elder moving into our congregation and him shunning me at a local Kmart. He didn’t know me from Adam’s house cat, so explain that. Anyway, being the confrontational person I am I asked him at the next meeting why he acted in the way he did. His comment was to the effect “I didn’t know if you were a disfellowshipped person or not". Didn’t make sense to me to assume a person was disfellowshipped until knowing otherwise.
I think that often individuals in the congregations take it upon themselves to “mark” another and thus justify their shunning of them. I think that is about as low down petty as can be.
FM
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Forscher
Alot of folks get shunned without a clue as to what they did. In my case, I've spent more time getting the cold shoulder than not. And guess what? I've never been reproved, Df'd, or Da'd. But, it doesn't matter. For awhile, I had an elder that had it in for me. Shortly after I got married, my wife and I were shunned for not treating her Ex right in this elder's eyes. (no kidding. No hearing on the matter. Just this elder putting the word around that the elders had "marked us and we were to be shunned.) Later, our daughter was raped. along came this brother with a committee and she was Df'd (even though she wasn't baptised.). We were included unofficially. I can remember brothers seeing us in the ailse of stores and turning around and going the other way to avoid us (my wife and I.) when my daughter was "reinstated" one sister walked up to my wife after the meeting and told he rthat she was "glad I can now talk to you." Remember, this was to my WIFE not our daughter. The same elder, by the way, maneuvered things around so that his fornicating son who had privileges in the congregation didn't go before a committee for what he was openly doing (living with a worldy girl at that!). And the same elder kept on finding any excuse to tell the friends to shun us. In time, I quit worrying and started in college. Guess what? Ole Brother Forscher was now shunned for that! I guess you can't win for losing! My son marries the p.o.'s Daughter and becomes a Ministerial Servant. Guess what? HE shuns me!!! I have a grandson I never seen now. Not even a picture! So now, several congregations later, I am innactive and as far as I am concerned they can just stay out of my way!
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formerout
EyeKinCeeClearly,
What you have gone through is truly sad. I'm glad you are moving on with your life now in a positive way.
Brad
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GermanXJW
> The teller asked me what her problem was. I just laughed and said "I used to go to her church but don't anymore...............I guess that's a no-no"
Almost excactly the same thing happenend to my wife. An elder was at the shop, she said hello (in German language you notice if you are familiar with someone) but he just pretended to not see her. My wife's boss asked her about the situation and she explained. Good witness for the JW.
And my wife was neither DA/DF just not at the hall for some time. She told the story to an Elders daughter.
Next week, the same elder showed up again and was as friendly as hell. Someone must have kicked his behind....
How lame is this? -
mkr32208
Want some fun? Go to school and become a cop... I'm almost there I'll be trying to get every saterday morning shift...
"Where are you going in such a hurry this morning sir..." ohhhh I can't wait!
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Poztate
P..., I don't know if your're a religious zealot or just plain rude but If you ever wait on me again and fail to acknowlege me, I will be speaking with the Branch manager about it." Stunned silence. " If I had time this afternoon we'd be having a discussion with your manager about your rudness right now."
Way to go Hillbilly,
The dubs have been told time after time that there is a difference between shunning for business or shunning for pleasure.
If I go ANYWHERE and am shunned with a business transaction I sure would take it up with management.They want to keep their job they had better act professional and not as a religious zealot.
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formerout
Here's a good one,
I was 16. My parents and I had moved 400 miles away from home so that my dad could go to a special doctor. We were living with my dad's parents. After 7 months, my parents had to move back home early and I stayed for a month to finish the school year.
I had been going to all the meetings, never got into any trouble whatsoever, but this one elder in my hall went around to four other fathers in two different KH's and convinced these fathers to not let their kids hang around me. He told them that I had too much freedom and I was a bad influence on them. He did this only AFTER my father had left town. I was not df'd, da'd, reproved and this "elder" did it all without even coming to say a word to me. It was completely of his own doing. Originally the fathers of my other friends went along with him.
Suddenly I had absolutley NO people to hang around with. I had lived in the town for only 7 months and I never made any "wordly" friends of course. Even at meetings, he never allowed his son to talk to me. The loneliness forced me into action... self-protection I guess.
I went to all the other dads, on my own, (my grandparents were extremely passive and could have been accused of being uncaring ) and reasoned with them that despite the fact that I may have had more freedom than their sons, I never did anything that was not allowed by them, the fathers.
Each and every one of the fathers that had been approached by the original elder began allowing their sons to hang around me. (They were all elders too.) Eventually the original elder's son began going behind his father's back to hang around us. (His dad would not let him go out if I was involved.)
Talk about an idiot elder. He caused his own son to disrespect him because he attempted to so unfairly control him.
Fortunately I was able and willing to stand up for myself and it turned out fine, but I can imagine how many others just accept the sh*t that these elders dish out.
Brad
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formerout
I must feel the need to vent tonight.... ... this is a great place to do it.
Here's another nasty example:
Six years after the incident just mentioned in the other post by me, I did get df'd 1992. (Sex before marriage with my now ex-wife...the sex must have been good for something...we lasted 10 years..lol )
In 1997 my dad died. I was, and am, still df'd. I'm the youngest of four kids. (G,B,G,B) My dad died while in town for a circuit assembly. I never even knew he was in town. (But that's not the shunning story I'm referring to here..lol) He was the oldest of nine kids. (Lots of relatives) My brother lived 120 miles away and my sisters lived 700 and 4000 miles away. Where I live was central to the rest of the family that included people being 3000 miles away in the other direction. So the service was held here, in my town. Ironic to this day.
My sisters refused to say a single word to me when they came to the funeral. (That is still not the shunning story I'm referring to here, either... lol) My, then, wife was in good standing at the KH, and it was approved by the elders in her hall to allow the "after the funeral" gathering to be held at our house. However!!!!!!!........ (steam coming from my ears as I write this.....lol)
My dad's sister was a missionary in Africa in the past with her husband. They were/are major big-wigs in the JW religion including being fairly high up in Bethel. Her husband had never liked me, since I was very young. We had had a few very minor differences of opinion in the past but he was certainly very welcome in my home. This Uncle of mine decided (and my brother who had previously agreed with the elders' decision to have the gathering at my house) to push his weight around and prevented the gathering from being held at our house. It was held in the unfinished basement of the KH.... very respectful... instead. (My dad was on social assistance, had no savings/life insurance.. you know typical dub, so no one could afford a funeral home)
Shortly after the talk, a lot of my relatives that were non/ex-JW's wanted to come to my house to hang out. Word got around and the next thing you know EVERBODY, including my sisters (still not talking to me), brother and a lot of JW's were at my house. Guess who shows up??!!
Yup, the Uncle who said it would be disrespectful to Jehovah to have any goings on at terrible old Brad's house no longer had ANYBODY to talk to at the KH, so he comes to my house.... big fucking hypocrite. He is an arrogant prick who constantly needs his ego caressed, so he couldn't just go back to the hotel. He had to come to my house and shmooze.
Out of respect for my father and all the other relatives, I never said anything but it just goes to show how hypocritical they can be.
That felt good. Thanks.
Brad