Obligations to Friends (page 2)

bull01lay

beachbender:

Yeah! What you said Bull !!! ( ditto)

Oh dear ! You've seen LT's legs too have you ???

My therapy to forget them is just about finished........

Bull!

I don't think I'm "obligated" to help, assist, encourage, support my friends, but I do all those things out of love. I WANT to do those thing. I have a few friends that I honestly feel I GET more than I give. Other friends, I give more than I get. I think if it's a true friendship, you're never really keeping score, but you do want to make sure that everything is fairly balanced.

Do you mean, however, that friends aren't obliged to tell all their deepest darkest secrets?

I'm not obligated to share any secrets with anyone. But friends make a safe haven for you to do so, should you want to. I have THREE friends that I know of that I can share ANYTHING with. They will never judge me, although they may give some hard and honest feedback, and will ALWAYS love me. One is Neil and the other two are girl friends that I love more than if they were my blood sisters.

Xena

I think if it's a true friendship, you're never really keeping score, but you do want to make sure that everything is fairly balanced.

That pretty much how it seems to work with my frienships. Its a give and take kinda thing. Sometimes though if I realize I have been especially needy I try to do something nice to show how much I appreciate them being there for me.

Big Tex

Spot on teejay

Beachbender

Oh MY! No I havn`t! Is this a sight to behold?? what I`d I miss?!!

I was refering to your comments on friendship. I agreed.

whyamihere

Well when you do feel an obligation just do what I do.

Say "Oh I wished I could but, I really don't want to!"

They think about it and get the picture. It's funny but, its gets it right to the point!

Brooke WI

happyout

Hi, SP,

Now that you've changed from the Eva avatar, I think I may appropriate it. That girl is gorgeous! If you watch ANTM, we need to chat about this week's show.

Now, on subject, I guess I do feel at least one obligation. That is not to judge them, and try my best to accept them as they are. If I want to be accepted, and that is vital to me after leaving one of the most judgemental organizations in history, then I am obligated to do the same for those I love.

Just one woman's opinion, although I really like Teejay's response too.

Happy Friday,

Happyout

StinkyPantz

Quotes-

missy04-

Agreed.

MonkeyP-

a true friend would not make you feel like you were obligated to them.

Yes!

Been there-

If a friend tells you something personal about themselves and says don't tell anyone, I think you have an obligation not to tell ANYONE.

If you think of things like this, we are obligated in some ways, aren't we?

Teejay-

For friends, you just GO. And DO.

I agree, but a good act doesn't stop there. It's not fair to contiually bring it up when you WENT and DID something for them. I'm all about doing something from the heart, but if I feel the need to keep telling the person all that I have done for them.. I don't know.. it seems to diminish the act somehow. It's sounds like score keeping to me.

LT-

Do you mean, however, that friends aren't obliged to tell all their deepest darkest secrets?

Yes they are!!

bull-

I wouldn't do anything [...] out of a false sense of obligation

What about out of a TRUE sense of obligation?

Billygoat-

I think if it's a true friendship, you're never really keeping score, but you do want to make sure that everything is fairly balanced.

This is how I feel and is what got me thinking about this particular subject. I've had people in my life who seem to think I owe them something for being my friend. They have my friendship, my trust, my love! I give that to a very rare, very special person. If I do something nice for you, I don't expect a reward, and it's unfair of me to bring it up all the time. Of course, if they never appreciate my good deeds, it'll be noted and used when I evaluate my friendship with them.

Xena-

Yup.

why-

Remind me to never ask you to do anything for me

happyout-

If you watch ANTM, we need to chat about this week's show.

Yes, I never miss it. I almost feel silly for liking the show..

I guess I do feel at least one obligation. That is not to judge them, and try my best to accept them as they are.

I agree, and if you don't feel like you can really, truly accept them with all of their flaws and insecurities, don't pretend to be their friend.

I love you btw

MegaDude

It's not fair to contiually bring it up when you WENT and DID something for them

Agreed. That sounds more like a form of control, not friendship.

funkyderek

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Obligations to Friends

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