We walked out of my mom's memorial service (page 7)

outnfree

Please accept my condolences, ((((((Tim, Xena and daughter)))).

I am sorry for the pain and the loss, magnified by the idiotical and decidedly cruel behavior of those d@mn self-righteous and heartless bast@rds!

How wonderfully well you reacted in contrast: with dignity, self-respect, and resolve! From what I've read, your Mom and Dad both felt the love of you and your siblings, Tim, loud and clear both in the weeks leading up to her passing. And now she knows what a farce that religion is and will affirm the love you and your small group of mourners demonstrated so well at your private gathering.

outnfree

barbar

I have been worrying about this recently and wondered how my own mother's funeral would take place, my father and my 2 brothers are no longer witnesses, but I am the only one who is DF'd. The topic has confirmed the nightmare situation that many of us may have to go through.

I am really sorry about your situation and the extra pain that was caused you.

Barbar

starfish422

I am very sorry for your family's loss. (((HUGS))) to all. :( [quote] Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find their lowest low.[/quote] Absolutely true. They are shameless. :(

lonelysheep

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom!

They are so wrong to judge, dictate absurd rules, and most of all, pin family against family. I'm glad your daughter was able to see the truth about them so early in life...and at the same time, sorry for her to be put through that hurt as well.

LDH

I'm glad you had friends to walk out with you. I'm not sure I would have left, but you had the moral support and did what you felt was best. How disgusting, to lose your mom and then get treated like shit.

REALLY makes me wanna run to the nearest KH.

Outaservice

THIS EVENT SHOULD BE TRIED IN THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION.

GET THE PRESS AND TV INVOLVED IF POSSIBLE AND LET THE PUBLIC KNOW JUST WHAT JW'S ARE ALL ABOUT.

THE 'DIRTY RATS'!

OUTASERVICE

nilfun

I'm so sorry for your loss...the way the JWs tried to interfere with your grieving process is an absolute shame.

freedom96

What blows my mind is that the rank and file witnesses don't think anything is weird about this situation. But to be asked to leave at your own parents funeral, there just are not any words that I can use to describe it.

And yet so many think this is normal?

tyydyy

My dad called me this evening. He's leaving town on business for a week and asked me if I would feed his cat. I told him I would. Needless to say I felt some mixed emotions with this call but I agreed to watch the cat for him so that he knows for sure that I will not be controlled by the rules of this cult. We will have a discussion when he get's back about why he couldn't ask one of the 5 witness families that live not less than 200 feet from his front door. We'll talk about who his family really is.

I got a call this evening from another one of my brothers. He lives out of town and is a semi-active JW. He didn't walk out. I asked him what was being said. (He kinda stays out of things) It turns out that my dad was told the day before that the "dinner" afterward was for him and that they wanted it to be witnesses only. He asked my youngest sister to inform us. Just before he was going to leave for the memorial service he asked her if she told us. She said that she figured that we would "blow up" and she said that it would be better if he did it. That left him with the task of telling us as we arrived. Now I just would just like to find out specifically who put those conditions on my family's precious rare opportunity to grieve together.

I think I may have left out a very important part. .....My sister, Brooke, works with some very nice people who volunteered to take a picture of mom and blow it up for the memorial service. When Brooke arrived at the kingdom hall she set up the picture on the stage. Very nice. We were out in the parking lot preparing to leave when we realized that we'd left the picture on the stage. My sister's boyfriend and another of their friends marched into the kingdom hall and took the picture off the easel and walked through all the witnesses with their mouths open so that we could have the picture for our service. Soon thereafter is when we realized that Brooke's daughter (age 5) had gone back inside and I went in and walked up to the front row where she was sitting in my father's lap. I took her hand and said: "Come on. We have to go."

I wish every ex JW could experience the power and release that comes from standing up for yourself and your family in such and emotionally charged situation. I feel like I could conquer the world. Actually, I finally feel like a MAN!!!

TimB

Fleur

I wish every ex JW could experience the power and release that comes from standing up for yourself and your family in such and emotionally charged situation. I feel like I could conquer the world. Actually, I finally feel like a MAN!!!

I know that feeling, I had the same one after my grandma's memorial drama. It was very freeing, and I know that I did the right thing because I have absolutely no regrets.

When one of my grandma's elderly friends called two days later to ask why I wasn't there, I told her and she said that I "had every right" to be there and that if it'd been her she would have stood up for herself. I said, "I finally DID stand up for myself, by refusing to let them abuse me this way any longer." even though she's a JW, she didn't argue that point.

Good for you, Tim. Hang on to that feeling. My guess is that your dad felt bad that you left and his calling to ask you to care for the cat is his way of telling you that you still matter to him, that he trusts and relies on you. My mom has done similiar things in the past with me. You will just have to lay down the guidelines and decide what your relationship will be from here.

big hugs to you and your family,

essie

We walked out of my mom's memorial service

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