We walked out of my mom's memorial service

by tyydyy 120 Replies latest jw friends

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  tyydyy

  You all may be pleased to know that this incident is causing a shake up in the local JW community. It seems that there were "guards" at the door of the reception stopping all that weren't JWs. There were a others that didn't find out that they weren't welcome until they tried to enter the reception. One of these was the son of a witness in another local congregation who was thinking of becoming a JW. Needless to say that one is saved. He won't be a JW anytime soon. They talked to the elders in their own congregation and those elders vowed to write to the society for clarification on the rules of such a scenario. My cousin who is an elder in another local congregation also said that he would be finding out who made the rule to exclude the non JWs (including his own sister). He was there and remarked that he's never been to a funeral reception that felt so cold and quiet.

  The news has traveled fast around here. It will be interesting to see how this shakes out.

  My JW brother, who is currently fighting for custody of his three sons, will suddenly find that his ex wife has some ammunition to use in her battle. There's nothing illegal or unethical about giving her this story to present to the judge.

  TimB
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  candidlynuts

  nothing wrong at all in providing this info to the judge. go for it. its disgusting the way they acted. i'm glad theres been some reprecussions from their actions. i hope no one ever has to go thru something like you did although i'm s ure stuff like this will still go on, its good to see someone may get some payback for maliciousness and bad manners!
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  cyber-sista

  Wow, this is all very weird, but it may all be stemming from the new rules they started to strictly enforce a couple of years ago where those with "positions" could lose their "positons" if they attended anything where a DAd or Dfd person was present or a wedding ceremony of those who were marrying "out of the lord." I belief it was Minimus who wrote about someone losing their microphone privleges because of a case of this sort. My non-jw daughter married a non-jw and all were told that they could lose their "privleges" if they attended. This is also the case at other gatherings and funeral receptions too, I 'm sure. I couldn't believe how much the elders were in fear of losing their "postions" if they didn't set the rules straight for everyone in the congo regarding social gatherings where worldlings and those not in good standing are present.

  I think the elders are feeling threatened by the Org about losing their "positions" and some are taking extreme postions about it.
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  Scully

  Tim, I'm so sorry for your loss and for the pain of this experience. How DARE they??

  Something really stood out in your last comments:

  They talked to the elders in their own congregation and those elders vowed to write to the society for clarification on the rules of such a scenario. My cousin who is an elder in another local congregation also said that he would be finding out who made the rule to exclude the non JWs (including his own sister). He was there and remarked that he's never been to a funeral reception that felt so cold and quiet.

  It seems to me that the Christian thing to do when a person requires "clarification" in a dilemma of this sort would be to err on the side of LOVE and COMPASSION - as opposed to erring on the side of heartless cruelty. After all, wasn't it their "leader", Jesus - the person in whose footsteps JWs claim to be following - who said that "all will know you are my disciples if you have love among yourselves"??

  And it was Paul who said "the fruitage of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness, self-control. Against such things there is no law." What happened to you and your exJW family at the hands of JWs was a far cry from a display of the fruitage of the holy spirit; in fact, I dare say that it conforms more to the works of the flesh: fornication, uncleanness, loose conduct, idolatry (putting the WTS's edicts ahead of Jesus' law of love), practice of spiritism, enmities, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, contentions, divisions, sects, envies, drunken bouts, revelries, and things like these.... those who practice such things will not inherit God's kingdom."

  It seems abundantly clear to everyone reading your story that the JWs who are responsible for this outrageous behaviour of refusing you a place at your mother's "official" memorial service are symptomatic of the bad fruitage of an unloving, family-hating organization that is rotting before our very eyes.

  "By their fruits you will know them."

  Love, Scully
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  maybesbabies

  I'm so very sorry for what all of you have been through. My heart breaks for you! It amazes me how people can lose their humanity, immersing themselves so far into a religion that they lose all the things that makes them human, or that are supposed to signify "Christianity". I'm glad you held your own separate ceremony, and to hell with those who would stand in the way of love and understanding.
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  frankiespeakin

  This is an outrage against your sister and yourself. How anybody could feel they are christians and treating morning family members like that,,is beyond belief. What are they so afraid of??

  You all have my sympathy.
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  Fleur

  It seems to me that the Christian thing to do when a person requires "clarification" in a dilemma of this sort would be to err on the side of LOVE and COMPASSION - as opposed to erring on the side of heartless cruelty. After all, wasn't it their "leader", Jesus - the person in whose footsteps JWs claim to be following - who said that "all will know you are my disciples if you have love among yourselves"??

  And it was Paul who said "the fruitage of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness, self-control. Against such things there is no law." What happened to you and your exJW family at the hands of JWs was a far cry from a display of the fruitage of the holy spirit;

  You said it, Scully! They don't act at all like the person they are most supposed to imitate.

  Tim, I will follow this with interest to see what the response from the WTS is. I am sure that they will take into account that you're not actually da'd or df'd. I'm sure if my own family had written to ask about including me in any gatherings, that since I am df'd they would have been told to do exactly what they did: shun me if I showed up.

  I am so glad that I didn't give them the opportunity.

  I can't wait to hear what happens with this.

  hugs,

  essie
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  Makena1

  Tim - very sorry to hear about the loss of your mom and the way you were treated.

  Something similar happened at the memorial service for my dad. I attended, but my brother and sister who are D'ad were basically told they were not welcome. I attended, but except for some of the older folks who knew my dad, our contemporaries did not even show up - deathly afraid that they would be contaminated I guess.

  The important thing was you were there, and at the end were surrounded by the people who really mattered like your sister and Xena.

  hugs,

  Mak and Sabine
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  DannyBear

  I truly believe that this kind of conduct binds the jdubs together more than any other activity. Almost like a shared euphoria or drug induced high.

  'The tie that binds' is oh so much more than 'door to door' or singing the hidieous kingdom songs. It is the overt manifestation of thier 'purity' thier 'clean organization' (an oxymoron if ever there was one). They get gleefully high from exercising 'righteous indignation' towards those they KNOW are rejected by Jehovah himself.

  Unable to see the true evilness of thier ways, they will follow the letter of the law. Even invent some policy or rule that gives them another opportunity for a 'fix'.

  These cultists relish even the prospect of one in thier midst getting d'fd, they can't wait to hear the announcement at the end of the Service Meeting. It is these events that reassure them of thier status with GOOOOOD.

  They may act saddened or even shed a tear.........yet they know that rejection, shunning, shame, dishonor, is the fabric that holds thier entire world together.

  It is more than sad and pathetic.............it is evil in and of itself.

  Danny
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  myself

  Tim, my condolences to you and your family.

  You handled the situation with dignity. You paid your mother total respect in giving her a true memorial service. Her memories were shared in a true sense, not as a chance to preach to all in attendance.