by lonelymom 22 Replies latest jw friends
Hello,
My name is Sherry I read your post and I too have an only child so I totally understand how that is. I am a witness as well but I wasnt all my life please reply and I will do my best to explain as much as I can ..or reply to this post and we can chat online if you like I would be happy to.
Sincerely
Sherry
Hi again,
I was just re-reading your post, and it struck me. You said your son in law was raised a JW, but married your daughter when she was not one. That is technically against their religion, so maybe there is some light at the end of the tunnel. If he broke the rules once, perhaps there are some doubts that he has had (or maybe still has). It's a nice thought to keep in mind.
It's good that you get to spend time with your grandchild, make sure that bond stays strong. Love her as much as you can, and make sure growing up she knows that grandma will love her no matter what religion she is. That may give her some breathing room as she grows up.
Best wishes,
Happyout
Yes, When the hall found out they were getting married, he was banished (I think that is what he said), he couldn't even see his parents or they wouldn't see him (they are elders in the hall). During a meeting with the hall, he was asked if he & my daughter had pre marital sex and he told them yes...he was really out then and was made to go to some kind of class. Once he and my daughter were married it didn't take long to get her to go to study groups.
My daughter and I have always been very close. When she told me all of this I said, "What kind of religion or what kind of parent shunns thier child!@ That is nuts. I said I would think the parents should be his support system to always be there for him like I am for you. My daughter agreed but said this is the way it works!
I wish I would have opened my eyes a lot sooner, I would have raised 7 different kinds of it before a wedding ever took place! You know what the real kicker is, Her husband is wonderful to her (I think, now I'm even wondering about that)
Lonley: Same with us...he wasn't "practising" while we were together, and I never thought to question it. We were even engaged, which I thought happened too fast, and told him so, but he was insistant. My first clue however, is the man was CHARMING treated me wonderful, told me everything I wanted to hear. Towards the end however, when I realized he was getting back in, he started treating me the way "expected" of him. Now that the glasses are off and hindsight being 20/20 I saw the signs. He couldn't handle the "shunning" that came along with being with me, and went back with his tail between his legs. I wish I would have looked into this more before all of this, but I'm learning now! Perhaps Sherry would like to share her info with all of us??
Thank you for the link. I found it very interesting and unsettleing to say the least. I will read it in more detail tonight.
Seeking knowledge, If you haven't checked out the link you should. It is a wealth of information and will really give you some insight on things. I just browsed it and couldn't believe some of the things I read.
(((((((lonelymom))))))) Big hugs and welcome to you.
I am sorry about your situation. I am in the reverse one: I'm the only person in my family who celebrates Christmas. My child gets presents from my husband's family but not from mine for the holidays. Usually it's just the three of us celebrating because his family lives far away. It can be lonely.
I think that the best advice I can give is just continue to love and support your daughter and show all the love you can to your grandchild. I don't think that her parents would object to you giving her gifts at any other time of the year. I would try to start a new family tradition, perhaps giving them each a gift on a different day instead. Likely your daughter is also missing the holidays but doesn't feel she can tell you because it is now against her faith.
Just hang on, read as much as you can to learn about her beliefs and keep loving her. Hopefully, love will win out in the end even if you don't get to celebrate holidays with her anymore, you will still be in a loving relationship.
hugs,
essie
hello lonelymom
My eldest son married a witness girl, within a few years he succumbed also, it was inevitable my first grandson his first child would be bought up in their faith.
I recall saying to my grandson (when he was 4 i think) happy birthday darling and he turned to me and said nanna i don't have birthdays, i was gutted and angry at my son.So i started on the trail of finding out about this so called religion that was about 11yrs ago now and what i found appalled me.
Birthdays stopped, visiting regular stopped but i never stopped inviting them over for birthday celebrations or family weddings, even invite them over for boxing day every year and they came,relationships are strained at the moment with them but i won't stop trying. Keep communication open as much as you can. I am thinking about you,i was thinking about putting an add in the newspaper getting all non-witness families together who have children in the org, but i would have to do it very discretely. What do you think
qca1
Welcome to JWD lonelymom!
Many JW families have what they call "Family Day" in which they all
get together for a big meal and give gifts to each other.
It just is not held on Christmas Day or Christmas Eve.
To avoid all appearences maybe you could schedule it for sometime during January.
Another way to be able to spend time with your daughter and
grand-daugther (include the JW husband if you want to) would be to
invite them to a "Family-get-together" each month:
1. Plan a nice picnic with games and a bbq
2. Go to the Zoo
3. Go to the beach/pool
4. Go shopping - JW's love to shop!
5. Be creative
6. Have a "girls only party"
This link will give you general information regarding the teachings of the Watchtower Society.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: A CRITICAL ANALYSIS
You might also want to check out these two pages. The first one contains many links to important information regarding the Watchtower Society.
NewLight2's Links Page
Johannes Greber's Home Page
NewLight2
dear lonleymom I understand your concern for your grandchild I too have two grandchildern who are being raised as Jehovah's wittness all I can say is show love to her and keep contact, welcome to the forum.
