No Natural Affection

Sail Away

Do you remember how the WT society likes to quote the scriptures that say "the love of the greater number will cool off" in "the Last Days" and men will have "no natural affection"? They applied this to "worldly people". Even before my exit I, used to think that scripture applied to members of the "Christian Congregation" too.

I haven't written to my JW MIL in about a year and a half. I just got to the point that I couldn't bare her venom, doom and gloom, Armageddon death threats toward my husband and her preaching at me because they suspect that I've left the organization as well. They live over 500 miles away and have no way of confirming my status short of calling my former congregation. I don't believe they've done this.

I broke my resolve to not communicate with her and sent a card congratulating her and my FIL on becoming great grandparents. I sent family photos of the baby, our daughter and her husband. Last weekend my husband called my FIL to check in, because we hadn't heard back in weeks. His father said my MIL has the flu and thanked him for the photos.

My in-laws are totally anti-technology. They have been JWs for over 50 years and refuse to get an iPad for meetings and service. They have never had a computer and never will. They have no cell phones either. My FIL got phased out from the RBC and as a Presiding Overseer years ago, because no one could contact him in a timely manner. This hurt him deeply.

Anyway, my husband offered to email a video and a link to more photos to a congregation member, so my in-laws could see them. My husband grew up with this man. My FIL said, "That won't be necessary. It really doesn't have anything to do with us."

Further, I got a note in the mail from my MIL yesterday, and I quote:

"Dear D**** and D****,

P*** (FIL) and I thank you for the photos of your grandson and his parents!!

Do you plan to visit the family in Central America?

I am recovering from the flu. This cold weather keeps me home. The friends have given me calls, cards and comfort food.

LV CM (her hallmark signature line)

P.S. The Hallmark card is a work of art! Thank you!"

Mind you, my in-laws have been shunning their own son for over 35 years with the exception for "essential family business". Also, they shun our children, as our son is DF'd and they consider our daughter to be "a slut" (I called MIL on the carpet for that remark while I was still an active JW!) and DA'd by her actions, because she went to college and had "worldly boyfriends". That being said, I don't understand how they will not even acknowledge their own great grandson!

My husband thinks it is because they can't acknowledge that they are still living in "this system of things' when their own son was never supposed to grow up, never mind have children and grand children. Now they are nearly 90 years old and need to face the facts. They have grown old and will likely die before their promised panda paradise. I am both angry and sad for them.

My husband sent me this article just last night. I wish he would just give up and cut them off. Any contact with them is hurtful toward him. I can see it in his eyes and his demeanor after the obligatory five-minute phone calls.

Slate

helpmeout

I truly feel that JWs are living proof of "no natural affection." They teach conditional love. They condition followers to cut off others. A truly indoctrinated JW will not form bonds of love with any friend or family member. They must be ready to cut off any relationship. This is a very destructive cult.

DesirousOfChange

I truly feel that JWs are living proof of "no natural affection." They teach conditional love. They condition followers to cut off others. A truly indoctrinated JW will not form bonds of love with any friend or family member. They must be ready to cut off any relationship. This is a very destructive cult.

Very sad.

But, VERY TRUE.

Doc

OneEyedJoe

This is a sad story, and I'm sure one that too many here can relate too.

I'm constantly amazed by the stark contrast between the love I've seen in the supposed one true religion and that which I'm continually shown here, in a community of apostates.

stuckinarut2

Sad but thought-provoking thread!

Thanks for sharing.

Yes, the bonds of "love" witnesses speak of are CONDITIONAL in the extreme sense of the word!

There is no sincerity in any relationship they form. Why? Because as already said above, they need to be ready to dump that relationship at a moments notice if the org deems it necessary!

So, that means they NEVER really attach to anyone properly.....

It is like a balloon....solid until pressure causes it to pop.....

3rdgen

Sail Away, I can relate. We feel a combination of anger and pity for them. Another reason why your in-laws can't connect with the idea of their great grandchild is that he clearly represents the FOURTH generation in their family born AFTER 1914. Too hard for them to process the fact that they have hitched their star to a failed prophecy.

Sail Away

3rdgen
Sail Away, I can relate. We feel a combination of anger and pity for them. Another reason why your in-laws can't connect with the idea of their great grandchild is that he clearly represents the FOURTH generation in their family born AFTER 1914. Too hard for them to process the fact that they have hitched their star to a failed prophecy.

You are right, 3rdgen, everyone else in the world would see this as four generations. Only in JWland do they try to wrap their brains around overlapping generations. When I first heard that term at the then District Convention, my first thought was, "That's crap!" I was completely out less than a year later.

Village Idiot

Sail Away, do you plan to be by their deathbed in the near future? Pardon me if I sound cruel but if you do you should tell them exactly how you feel.

flipper

SAIL AWAY- I feel for you and your husband. I have observed in the 11 years that I've been out of the JW's that my staunch JW extended family gets colder and more inhumane as each year passes. Unfortunately they're trained by the WT Society and mind controlled and conditioned to be this way.

My 87 yr.old JW mom is NOT this way as she and I are really close- almost a year ago my elder 89 yr.old dad warehoused her into an assisted living facility instead of letting her have in-home care which he most definitely could afford to do if he wanted to. But I believe in the 67 years of marriage my dad is punishing my mom for always having an independent mind even as a JW questioning his decisions at times. Now in HIS mind he doesn't have to hear it everyday. The man is disgusting in my view. He told my older JW sister that he finds his own gay grandson's homosexuality " sickening " and refused to see my non-Witness nephew and his partner. Then my older sister REPEATED what my dad said to her son, my nephew.

I find my JW's family behavior barbaric and disgusting, and so does my mom. Then I have 2 adult JW daughters who are 28 yrs.old and 26 yrs.old , pioneers . who ave shunned me and my non-JW son ( aged 29 ) for 11 years now. I call just to say hello, and my daughters NEVER return my phone calls. This is the result we get when an unethical, corrupt, mind control cult steals the minds of our loved ones and family. It's hard not to take it personally because we are human- but the lion's share of the blame I put on the shoulders of WT Society leaders who create these inhumane monsters of human beings. WT leaders skate away not taking ANY responsibility for these monsters that they've created. Hopefully WT leaders will pay for their crimes against families and humanity someday. One can only hope

Sail Away

Village Idiot
Sail Away, do you plan to be by their deathbed in the near future? Pardon me if I sound cruel but if you do you should tell them exactly how you feel.

Village, my husband fully expects that he will not be notified if either of his parents are on their deathbed. He is convinced that he will not hear a word until after they have died and are buried. His father made it very clear that "communication is nice, but not necessary", "everything is all set" and "the brothers will handle everything." Essentially, the message is don't call us and we won't call you. My husband has been written out of the will since he faded. The estate is considerable, and the WT takes all.

My husband chooses to keep in touch periodically, but neither one of us have any intention of ever seeing them in person again. The last visit was unbearable.

If I could tell them how I think, I would, but it is not my call. It's my husband's family.

No Natural Affection

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