No Natural Affection

by Sail Away 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sail Away
    Sail Away
    flipper

    SAIL AWAY- I feel for you and your husband. I have observed in the 11 years that I've been out of the JW's that my staunch JW extended family gets colder and more inhumane as each year passes. Unfortunately they're trained by the WT Society and mind controlled and conditioned to be this way.

     My 87 yr.old JW mom is NOT this way as she and I are really close- almost a year ago my elder 89 yr.old dad warehoused her into an assisted living facility instead of letting her have in-home care which he most definitely could afford to do if he wanted to. But I believe in the 67 years of marriage my dad is punishing my mom for always having an independent mind even as a JW questioning his decisions at times. Now in HIS mind he doesn't have to hear it everyday. The man is disgusting in my view. He told my older JW sister that he finds his own gay grandson's homosexuality " sickening " and refused to see my non-Witness nephew and his partner. Then my older sister REPEATED what my dad said to her son, my nephew.

     I find my JW's family behavior barbaric and disgusting, and so does my mom. Then I have 2 adult JW daughters who are 28 yrs.old and 26 yrs.old , pioneers . who ave shunned me and my non-JW son ( aged 29 ) for 11 years now. I call just to say hello, and my daughters NEVER return my phone calls.  This is the result we get when an unethical, corrupt, mind control cult steals the minds of our loved ones and family. It's hard not to take it personally because we are human- but the lion's share of the blame I put on the shoulders of WT Society leaders who create these inhumane monsters of human beings. WT leaders skate away not taking ANY responsibility for these monsters that they've created.  Hopefully WT leaders will pay for their crimes against families and humanity someday. One can only hope. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

    Mr. Flipper, I'm so very sorry for your pain. I don't think I could bare such a long and deep estrangement from my children. You are right, the behaviors you describe in your father are all about mind control, conditioning and programming. I do think a certain hardening of the heart is required to shun family. I'm not that person. I refused to shun my son. It freed me from my lifetime of servitude at age 52. 

    It sounds like your mom is a love. I'm sure she treasures you now more than ever. My mom is in a nursing home too. She has late-stage Lewy Body Dementia and can no longer live independently. She no longer knows me by name, but I am able to comfort and calm her when she is agitated. There is a familiarity that she still understands.

    Watching our parents grow old and die is something we were simply not prepared for in JWland. Treasure the moments you have with your mom, and please don't give up hope for your daughters either. My family NEVER expected me to leave. I was an all-in JW for 42 years. One of the strongest and most cruel hooks they have to keep people in is the belief that the members still in must remain loyal if they ever want to see their family member return and survive Armageddon. That is what kept me in for so long. 

  • freein2004
    freein2004
    Wow! sail Away, that is tough. I applaud your husband for continuing to make contact. Even though it probably will never change anything I do believe it is something he will never regret. Peace to you all and congrats on your grand baby  .
  • ToesUp
    ToesUp

    I agree with you Sail Away. It does require hardening of the heart to be able to shun your family (especially your children). I could NEVER shun one of my children or my parents. 

    Who says JW's don't break up families. Shame on them. These are sad stories. I feel for all of you that are going through this. You are all in our thoughts.

  • Sail Away
    Sail Away
    freein2004
    Wow! sail Away, that is tough. I applaud your husband for continuing to make contact. Even though it probably will never change anything I do believe it is something he will never regret. Peace to you all and congrats on your grand baby.
    Thank you, freein2004! We are beyond the moon excited about our new grandson! My husband and I both agree that we have the power to not allow other people's thoughts and behaviors to change who we are. It's a high price to pay in a family dynamic like this, but as you say, he will have no regrets later. 

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