Dear Katie;
I've been mulling it over some more. I used to go to church after I left the JWs. I really tried to believe in God. I really wanted to believe in God. Eventually I had to conclude God didn't exist. Disasters like this happen. Unspeakable crimes occur. For thousands of years God micromanages every aspect of our lives and even speaks from the heavens. Then for almost 2000 years, not a peep. He never calls, He never writes...
It was the fact that disasters happen and people commit unspeakable acts of cruelty that made me doubt God's existence at all. A heinous crime occurs because humans are capable of great cruelty. God does nothing to stop this crime. Did God create humans capable of such cruelty? Did he create a world with natural disasters of such cruelty as what happened in Southeast Asia? If so, why? Why doesn't He clearly tell us, since He would undoubtedly have our complete attention?
If I was Goddess, they would be calling me Ms. Buttinski, because I could never not help. I would have to intervene. I would save kids dying in tsunamis, in fires, and from disease. I couldn't let these innocent ones suffer. How could I let people be cruelly killed, by natural disaster or by criminal acts? What kind of Goddess would I be if it was so within my power to help, and yet I did nothing. What kind of human being would I be? Could I live with myself? If God created human beings in His image, why doesn't He do something? I know I would.
So if there is a God, His silence on matters is only understandable if He doesn't want to answer the tough questions I and many others here on Earth have for Him. Still, if He would step forward and do something, anything at all, I would believe. I would love to believe.
This was part of what you quoted. I think it is significant.
I think there is God in the response, in the human hearts of those who are feeling and responding to this, the families and neighbors of the victims, and the rest of us, the bystanders, and us, too. The whole world is feeling it.
Someone once told me that they thought God was a human invention in order to deal with death. Basically he said that God didn't create us; we created God. Maybe so. Maybe he was invented in the human mind. But also consider this.
Some humans are capable of extreme cruelty, but far more of them are capable of great kindness and goodness. On just Amazon's site alone they have had almost 90,000 people raise over 5 million dollars for the tsunami survivors.
Someone else (Mrs. Snoddy, a Return Visit on my magazine route when I was young) told me God is in our heart. So maybe, just maybe, God wasn't an invention of the minds of humans. Maybe He is the invention of millions and billions of human hearts. I really want to believe that, because that means that if there really is no God, there is still hope.
Tammy