help and advice needed plz (page 2)

Fleur

welcome to the board, confused (((((hugs))))

There isn't much you can do at the moment, you're too young to go out on your own, so I would just echo the other folks' comments and say that no matter what you do, don't get baptized! As long as you don't do that you can 'drift away' slowly over time. I know you probably want to stand up and shout to everyone you know that the "Truth" isn't true. But you have to bide your time for now. It's hard, it stinks. But hang in there...get good grades, think about finding ways to go to college in a few years. And just keep loving your mom all you can, and then hopefully by the time you can exit the religion, maybe she will be ready to see the light herself.

hugs,

essie

confused-n-abused

thanx for all the advice.i've decided that no matter what i do for now,im going to be living at this house for now so i might as well not rock the boat for now,it will just cause confusion and heartache.i decided not to get baptized about 6 months ago,for i knew that was the reason that my mom does most of the shunning to my older siblings.i did consider getting baptized because it would help to keep things quiet for now,so that i could have responsibilities,but ive decided against it now,thinking about the future.i did have some responsibilities just as an unbaptized publisher,like dong the sound sumtimes,being the timer for the theocratic ministry school,but they were taken away when i lost my virginity when i was 11.i showed ''repentance'' though,so i wasnt diciplined too bad.for the past 3 years though,i've started smoking,ciggarettes,and marijuana,i get drunk about twice a week,and i have a girlfriend who im sexually intimate with.what really got me pissed off at the elders and what got me looking at anti JW stuff,my brother too,was when my baptized brother got all his privilages taken away,because he refused to shave his sideburns,which arnt even that long!!!they're just down to the bottom of his ears.ne way,i have found the real ''truth'' now,and i intend to keep it.

NewLight2

Welcome to the board. You have been given some good advice already, so I don't think there is much I can add.

But you might want to check out these web pages:

Jehovah's Witnesses: A Critical Analysis

These two contain many links to important information regarding the Watchtower Society.

NewLight2's Links Page

Johannes Greber's Home Page

Here is one that deals with Mind Control and Cults
Mind Control - The BITE Model

BrendaCloutier

Confused, hon, one more word of advice: Please be sure you and your girlfriend are using protection. I'm not concerned for you for AIDs or other std's but they are an important consideration. Just DON'T GET PREGNANT! That will foul everything up in your lives. Get her on the pill, and you stock in a condom company.... .... and a large box of condoms .... and use them.

I have a niece that was running around since she was 13. I asked my mom if anyone has talked with her about birth control? Being my mom, an elder's wife and good JW, her response was "No! We could never do that, it would be condoning her actions!". Six months later I gave my mom an "I told you so" when I found out my neice was pregnant. She had an abortion and 2 more children before she was 18.

Confused, just don't go there. I don't care if you don't like "taking a shower in your raincoat" (If you don't understand, that's condom humor). Just use 'em. Abortion is a sad answer for proper birth control.

Hugs and all the best to you.

Brenda

kgfreeperson

This is something that I worried a lot about with my son's friends who were raised in strict fundamentalist families: they tended to experiment very early (and with great determination) with things that are really not good for growing young people! (Like smoking, drinking, and being sexually active at 11!) It was almost as if they were determined to kill themselves early before their parents' vengeful God could get a bead on them.

I am, of course, in full agreement with you about the validity of the Watchtower's teachings. But I'm really hoping that you can spend the time you have left living with your mother making choices that will provide a good basis for a happy and healthy adulthood. Just getting through every day when you are a teenager living at home in a less than perfect situation (definition of every American teenager I think) can seem to justify all sorts of bad choices. But you are going to be on your own in what really is a very short time (I know how long 4 years can seem, but really, in terms of percentage of your life, it is very short) and you want to be ready to fly, not held down by addictions/bad habits/babies/etc. which were the side-effects of your attempts to cope.

Ahem. You've probably either heard or thought all this stuff before. Sorry if this is preachy. But it would be really helpful if you could focus on the future you want and what you can do now to make it most likely rather than focusing on the present that you're trying to get through day by day.

Happy New Year!

Midget-Sasquatch

Hi again Confused

Hope I didn't offend you by calling you "kiddo" earlier. I wish that all teens could enjoy their younger years thats all. From your 3rd post I can see you've grown up much quicker than I had.

I know you need to vent alot of the frustration from the JW-related crap. I supply for highschools and middleschools and have seen and heard alot of other teens do the same sort of stuff. Use protection....ribbed...to show extra consideration for your gf.

Also, don't blow you're time and money on useless addictions. I've personally had a couple of friends who've wrecked their futures by letting that take over. Getting a set of wheels is a way cooler rush anyways. End of sermon.

confused-n-abused

lol,thanx for the advice,but im not a pot head,just an occasional weed smoker,and i do use protection with my girl.im in the ninth grade by the way,and its half over,so i only really have 3ana half years left in this household.about the f****d up elders at my KH.the side burns werent all,i work at a computer shop that my inactive aunt owns,and you should see the stuff on these ppl's comps.ESPECIALLY what their kids are doing.but,i dont say a word,they wouldnt believe my ne way,and if they did,they wouldnt do ne thing about it.i know this from experience.ne way,im having some trouble believing in god since i did all this research,trying to believe in some ''being'' that has been around forever,without ne beginning is just too much for me to handel,plus all th things in the bible that dont make ne sense.but on the other hand,there's no logical explanation for how we,or ne thing else for that matter r here.i dunno.i plan on not having ne thing to do with ne religion.i dont feel that ne of them r completely right.

Mulan

Do you have grandparents? Aunts or Uncles, who are not JW's?

I ask because our second son decided when he was 17 that he couldn't take being a JW anymore. We were still very active and restricted his every move, other than school. He went to his school counselor and she advised him to contact a relative who might take him in. So he called my disfellowshipped brother, and he let him come to live with him and finish school.

We called the police, but they advised us to leave him alone, because they could bring him back home, but he would likely go out the back door just as fast.

It's just a suggestion, but you could try a relative or your sister who is married and has children. Surely they could help you.

At least talk to the school counselor.

Euphemism

Confused... you don't sound very confused to me! I just wanted to say good luck, and congrats on wising up to the truth about the "truth" so much earlier than most of us here did.

Carmel

when I ws yr age I ht the rd. ya may want to consider it, though I don't reccomend it these days.. if'n yr mom is brkn hrtd its her own fault, nt yrs. That jst prt of the guilt control systm the sosiety uzz.

cavemn

help and advice needed plz

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