help and advice needed plz

by confused-n-abused 28 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  bikerchic

  when I ws yr age I ht the rd. ya may want to consider it, though I don't reccomend it these days.. if'n yr mom is brkn hrtd its her own fault, nt yrs. That jst prt of the guilt control systm the sosiety uzz.

  cavemn

  grunt, grunt, wow love the caveman speak Todd!

  c-n-a:

  lol,thanx for the advice,but im not a pot head,just an occasional weed smoker,and i do use protection with my girl.im in the ninth grade by the way,and its half over,so i only really have 3ana half years left in this household.about the

  And I thought you said you didn't want to break your mama's heart. <sigh> Well kiddo you are doing a lot more than leaving the JW's that's breaking her heart. <sigh>

  I know you're only 14, but it's hard to take what you say serious. I remember at 14 a hangnail being serious. You are 14 and should know better than to act like the above. Get your shit together, dump the girlfriend, get serious about school and get a good education go to college and MAKE SOME THING OF YOURSELF. Balls in your park are you up to the task?

  Kate
• 

  PinTail

  Well don't become babtized just stay as you are then they can't do too much to you other than play small head games with you.

  I raised my three girls witness's too, but in due time and many problems along the way they made their own path and so did I. But we still love each other, I have to work at it to keep in contact with them cause that is a parents role.

  Witness's are distructive to family's, stay kind stay loving, stay safe.

  Shane
• 

  orangefatcat

  I applaud your courage to speak freely about your feelings. Most young persons keep things bottled up inside until one day they explode or worse. I think the best thing to do is as others have suggested.

  First don't get baptized and most importantly be honest with yourself and true to your convictions. Sure it will break your moms heart that you don't want to go to the meetings or in the service anymore and you don't believe its the truth. Its better to say this to her now rather than stiffle your own sanity and well being. You don't need ulcers . You'll end up only hurting yourself and hating your mom, because you are only trying to please her. I mean your intentions are truly good, but waiting 3-5 yrs before you tell is not a good thing. However your mother has done a wonderful job in bringing you up because you are a considerate person and don't want to hurt her which I comment you for. You sound like a wonderful young man. You remind me of my own son.

  My son when was around your age or a little older and he didn't want to continue going to meetings or in the service or assemblies. He only went to please me and then one day he told me he just couldn't keep going because he didn't any longer believe it to be the truth. Sure at the time it upset me, but he had to be true to himself because it was his life. I appreciated his honesty. I didn't like it at the time nor did his father especially. Frankly it worried me and hurt me. And most of all I thought at the time to Jehovah. His father kept trying to preach and preach and preach to him until finally he just told his father no more.

  It was an eye opener for me, because he had the guts to leave and I had wanted to leave the org. for years but hesitated for fear of reprecutions in my own family. He taught me to be true to my own heart and self. Its amazing how kids can have an effect on his parents. We have a very good relationship and if you have the same type of relationship w ith your mother I would'nt worry about telling her because I am sure she'll appreciate your candor even at this young age. Even though your other family siblings have left the org. and one is disfellowshipped they can't have any association with your mom, but you can by not getting baptized. Being baptized can lead to losing your relationship with your mom so staying unbaptized you can still mantain a closeness to your family. Disfellowshipping is a death warrant in the organization, its the only stronghold the organiation holds over the heads of witnesses.

  I wish you well. And I will keep positive thoughts for you.

  Your Friend Orangefatcat.
• 

  confused-n-abused

  bikerchik,what r u talking about?thats my business,not my moms,or yours.plus,she doesnt know about it,so im not breaking her heart.
• 

  confused-n-abused

  Whelp, long time no see.I havent been able to come to this site very much since i originally found it,but i plan to now.-UPDATE- Im almost 16 now,finishing up the 10th grade,and just about ready to tell all the witnesses at my hall what i think about them.I've brought up some issues with my mom that i was concerned about,and she told me the same ole same ole,that i shouldnt question the society and especially not the bible.I'm planning on just waiting till im 18 to leave,because i realize that if I take a stand now, I'll still be forced to go to the meetings,service,etc. except she'll be having talks with me all the time about how Im going to die at armageddon.My brothers have helped me alot with this whole thing,seeing as how the were in the same boat,they just didnt figure out this religion is bullshit until they were about to move out anyway,and i have over 2 years left.They also have told me that if they could give me one peice of advice, it would be to not get baptized,because they say that was the biggest mistake they ever made.They now have to watch their every move,making sure that nobody sees them smoke,etc. so they wont get DF'd.They like being able to come over every couple months to see mom and us,and they dont want to be shunned to the extent that my older sister has(completely cut off). I dont even understand it,they tell you that the disfellowshipping arrangement is in place so that the DF'd person will miss being able to talk to their family and friends,and they will come back. But shouldnt they be coming back because they love/miss god and his organization?Not their family? Anyway just thought I'd update everyone on my situation and do a little reading.

  Josh
• 

  nelly136

  nice to see you, two years sounds like forever, but it'll pass quite quickly.
• 

  truth about the last days

  It is good that you have your mums feelings at heart. As as your mum is a faithful JW, it would be good to use what is written in the scriptures as a source of hope. Prov 14:5 states "A faithful witness is one that will not lie, but a false witness launches forth mere lies.". Now, as a starting point, just to let you know that many of us here has found out that the date for the destruction of the first temple did not happen in 607BCE, as all the publications has stated. You can show her from the recent publications this point of 607BCE. And being 14 yrs of age, school studing is a must for your future. You then look up the date in ANY reference book available and show her what all resorces show that the date for the destruction of the temple was in fact 587/586BCE. It does not matter where you look, the evidence is there. (except from MOST of the WT books and mags.) Do your reserch on this matter, and show her your findings. I have just written to my mum, and i have put forward to her a question, "does she want me to go back to attend regular meetings and lie about the date of 607BCE and then be destroyed by Jesus when he comes for that 1000YR reign, or does she want me to tell the truth that the date is 587/586BCE and be saved? I sent the question to her this morning and i am waiting for a reply. To be a JW, it is obvious that I would have to say 607BCE. Now, according to the scripture above, a "FAITHFUL witness" does not lie! So, you can ask her if she wants you to be faithful to the Most High by telling the truth, or to be unfaithful to the Most High God- by lieing by stating that the Temple fell in 607BCE. This would put the "ball in her court". But, you must do your reserch on this subject FIRST, and then show her the evidence. To start you off, look up "Lachish Letters" that has been held in the British Musium on the website which were found in 1935. Even the brother that was behind the infomation that was in the "Aid to Bible Understanding" (before Insight Books) knew the correct date, but was under pressure of expulsion from Brooklyn, NY and inserted the 607 instead of the true date of 587/586BCE. All info is on the website under "Jehovahs Witnesses". By using this as a starting point, she will (or might) understand your decision for not being a JW. Happy hunting!
• 

  Legolas

  Nice to meet you..and yes they are right...DON'T get baptized!
• 

  lucifer

  well welcome back, I don't know how you can still go to meetings, you've got more patience than I do lol, good luck with leaving!