ExJW's Make Better Lovers? (page 2)

bboyneko

Yeah, I was with an x-jw for a short while and damn it was HOT. Yes I agree it has to do with sexual repression but man it turns some people into animals. Not that I'm complaining!! But hehe as far as long-term relationship it can go both ways..sometimes it's a bad idea to be with someone who is as messed up as you (an obsessive compulsive women getting together with an obsessive compulsive man...) but then again the level of empathy present would be good too. It's a tough call. I beleive that in a relationship you improve each other, and I beleive the best way is to be with someone that has just enough in common with you that you are good friends but enough vastly different than you that your thoughts and beleifs are constantly put into doubt :)

mommy

OOPS I forgot to reply! I agree with Venice(grinding my teeth, admitting that one)But there is so much in our past that is hard to explain. Like Harmony said, I don't even know if my ex's listened to me when I rambled on. It is much easier to say...you know? Then have to go through the reasons why. I have never dated an exjw, but I have always said never say never. It would be interesting, if they were an interesting person As far "real" sex goes. I choose to remain mysteriously silent...except in chat of course lol

Congrats to you single people out there Have a blast and Do not settle

In a controversy the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves.

Seeker

This is a question I've wondered about as well. Which is better, to have a partner that knows what you've been through, or to have one that enables you to move on with your life?

I worry about obsessing too much about exJW stuff, and I know I'm fully capable of moving on with my life for there have been long stretches where I've been totally absent from these sites. During those times, I rarely think about my JW past, for it's just not relevant or important to me. If I am with a woman who has no knowledge of JWs, I figure I will really make a break.

On the other hand, I will never be fully over my experiences, and as others have said, it's nice to be able to quickly reference a past event and have your partner nod understandingly, no explanation needed. Still, I don't want to fall into the pattern where my whole life revolves around the exJW lifestyle either. If all my friends are exJWs, and I spend all my time in exJW-land, and attend exJW conferences, and so on, how would that be different from being a JW, only in reverse?

I don't know, these are questions I've been wondering about.

As for being interested in sex, well, um, I've always been like this...

Cowboy

I just want to second what mommy said.Don't settle.

Another after effect of being a JW is that we try to stay together at almost any cost.I guess we think we're supposed to be miserable

I think an ex-JW would understand much about us that no one else ever could.

Good luck in your search,singles.

Cowboy

dannyboy

I've never dated another X-JW (yet, that is, mostly from lack of opportunity in my part of Calif), but the idea of being attracted to someone who also understands the "mindset" of an X-JW is very appealing. Ahhhh, the stuff that wouldn't have to be explained. Ahhh, the thought of not worrying about coming accross as weird, etc.

As others here have related, there's a wide range of reactions to mentioning a JW past, from a sort of "so what?", to a gasp of shock. Nobody, but nobody understands what it's like to be an X-JW like another X-JW.

But, am I the only person who's a little bit concerned that I'd fall in love with an X-JW, who might then (god forbid) GO BACK to the dubs??? It ("returning") happens!

BoozeRunner

Hi Comf, and all.
Since my departure from the ORG, I have ony been involved with non-JWs. 2 of them however had had a bit of involvement with JWs in their lives-one had studied briefly, the other had lived with a JW family during a troubled time in her own life. Intimacy was great in both instances, though the relatioships didnt last for other reasons.
In my case, I have never come across ex-JWs in a relationship situation.
As far as I am concerned, theres plenty of baggage out there, JW-related or not. Also, I find that most people are seeking the same thing, that is, a healthy, satisfying relationship. The WTS did not want us to believe that there are good people "in the world."
Actually, I feel that the relationships I have had since my exit have been pretty damn good because of the people I date, and because of the type of person I am.

DANNYBOY.....yes, I have that fear also, that an ex-JW may decide to go back!!! UGHHHHHHH, PERISH THE THOUGHT.

Boozy

circe

Hey COMF!

I'm glad I married an ex-JW. There have been times when the emotional baggage I carry most likely would have harmed or destroyed my marriage had my partner not KNOWN what I was going through.

I fell in love with David because of who he is, not because he was a JW. However, our having this in common, I think, has helped us relate. I don't have to EXPLAIN everything all the time.

Just yesterday I saw a "car group" out on the road. I made a comment to that effect to David. He just rolled his eyes and laughed. If he wasn't an ex-JW, I would first have had to explain what a car group was, blah, blah blah. I take it for granted that I don't HAVE TO EXPLAIN.

As far as the sex goes? I'm not saying a word!

circe

ICQ#57295066
Yahoo ID: circegirl2

Englishman

Comf,

I can't believe that I'm going to respond to this, if her Ladyship reads it I'll have to buy me own beer tonight. OK, here goes:

During my "dub period", there were a number of single women in my congregation. Sometimes a group of us would go for coffee and stuff after the meetings, but I got to know these lassies over a period of years.

One of these girls got DF'd for making her flat available to 2 unhappily married JW's who had embarked on a clandestine affair. I was sorry to see her go, her humour was in the Venice mould, her zest for life palpable.

About 2 years later,I was DF'd and my 1st marriage had finished. Driving through Portsmouth one day, who should I see but my favourite, still DF'd commedienne. I stopped and gave her a lift, and we chatted for hours. We arranged to meet later and have a few drinks.

After the few drinks, I escorted her home and was invited to come in for a night cap. Well, we just fell on each other, you see we had known each other for years and liked each other which helps a lot. There was lots of giggles and "Can you be Df'd for"....whatever, but it was good and natural for us both.

We didnt make another date, that was a one night stand for 2 and we were both happy to smile across a room at each other when we both had new partners.

Englishman.

..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

Fredhall

Oh come on,

Like I'm not a sleezy cat?

Maximus

Yo, COMF!

Knowing you, I realize you comprehend the powerful input from higher cortical function in the most sensual acts of love-making.

While you're introspecting, rent the Jack Lemmon movie "Save the Tiger." Unless you already remember it.

My sex life is very exciting, better than it's ever been. With the same partner. Because of eliminated repression? Not at all.

The new post-JW dimension is a total intimacy, with full revelation of self, in which I understand and am completely understood.

It's incredible, terrific.

Warmest,
Max

ExJW's Make Better Lovers?

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