VeniceIT:
Ummm Comf is this a personal???? Maybe this should be in the Dating forum!!!
Actually, it is personal in a way, Vennie. I had it rather pointedly brought to my attention that these are the kinds of things that make up a normal relationship: going shopping together, attending concerts and other entertainment events together, spontaneously taking off for a weekend out of town together, popping over to each other's houses on the spur of the moment, renting a movie for a Saturday evening... these kinds of things require that your lover live in the same town, or close by. It started me to thinking: while I'm sure Dallas has its fair share of eligible ladies, I don't recall ever seeing any exJW women from here.
JanH:
Been in the chat room again, old mate?
Who... me?
Prisca:
If you happen to mention you used to be a JW, you get this look like you've got 3 heads or something!
You know what I think is even worse? The feigned interest. You start off explaining something, and they have that focused, attentive look that says, "Yes, go on, I'm listening," and gradually you see it fade at the corners and their eyes glaze over and begin to roam around the room. If the topic is particularly impenetrable, they may even interrupt you to start talking about something totally unrelated.
peaceloveharmony:
if/when i ever hook up with an xjw, i'll be sure to send you a full report with pics
Hey, why postpone a good thing? Send the report when there's something to report, but you can send the pics on now.
orbison:
well comf if your ever in vancouver, give me a call and we will see
Duly noted and filed for reference, ma'amzelle! And if you want to shoot me a pic or two, my email icon's over there to the left.
Simon:
I am seriously dead when Angharad reads this...
Yeah, Simon, but I get the idea that you enjoy living dangerously. :)
wasasister:
maybe you'll get a few more before this thread runs out.
Does this mean you'll be posting again, sis?
bboyneko
Yeah, I was with an x-jw for a short while and damn it was HOT.
I have yet to experience the passion of a lady ex, but they sure talk a good show. Check out the chatroom here sometime!
...to be with someone that has just enough in common with you that you are good friends but enough vastly different than you that your thoughts and beleifs are constantly put into doubt
Yep. One of my favorite poetic passages is this, from Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet:
Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
mommy:
Congrats to you single people out there Have a blast and Do not settle
Well, okay... if you insist!
Seeker:
I worry about obsessing too much about exJW stuff... I don't want to fall into the pattern where my whole life revolves around the exJW lifestyle
I used to worry about this, but I've made my peace with it. I'm happy doing what I do. The level of involvement here goes up and down; like you, I've left for periods of time more than once. I don't feel that it's controlling me; nor is it holding me back from living an active and rewarding life completely separate from JW/exJW issues.
Cowboy
I guess we think we're supposed to be miserable
It isn't misery to me, Cowboy! Then again, I have to stop and remember, when I say "it isn't misery to me," that I haven't lost any family members to the org like many have.
dannyboy:
who might then (god forbid) GO BACK to the dubs?
God forbid that I should be so imperceptive as to take up with a woman with that potential inside her.
BoozeRunner:
Actually, I feel that the relationships I have had since my exit have been pretty damn good
Mine have had their good points, and all produced memories that I'll treasure. They ultimately ended because whatever was wrong overrode what was right. That can happen whether it be exJWs or "worldly people," as you pointed out.
circe
If he wasn't an ex-JW, I would first have had to explain what a car group was, blah, blah blah.
Nickie was always willing to sit and listen. I would burst out laughing at something on the forum, and she's ask what it was, and then I'd have to go through a five-minute explanation just to enable her to see the joke. Of course, by then it wasn't funny anyway, but she'd laugh good-naturedly anyway, bless her heart.
Englishman
Well, we just fell on each other... and we were both happy to smile across a room at each other when we both had new partners.
Ah, those wonderful moments when life is actually lived for the present instead of for some future time!
Maximus:
"Save the Tiger" Unless you already remember it.
I do. But I'll rent it again on your recommendation. Jack Lemmon was a favorite of mine.
The new post-JW dimension is a total intimacy, with full revelation of self, in which I understand and am completely understood.
It takes a special kind of partner to be able to do that as a team, Max. You're in an enviable position (heh, heh). I congratulate you on having found and kept your compatible mate!
Billygoat:
I'd love to meet other xJW in the DFW metro area, although I have no desire to date. Nothing personal...I'm already blessed with a fantastic guy in my life! Anyone up for a moment at Starbucks?
Yeah, buddy, we can do that! I know I can round up SixOfNine; I also know that there are a couple more Dallasites who post on here, but I can't recall who they are because they aren't very active. Maybe they'll see and we can arrange an outing.
thinker
As far as the question "Do ex-JWs make better lovers?" I must say "Yes..Oh yeeessss.. oh my god yesssssssss!!!"
Hmm... sex so good, even the neighbors had a cigarette afterward? :)
Hang in there and don't worry. I always seemed to meet women when I wasn't really trying.
Thanks for the encourging words, thinker. Actually, meeting women has never been a problem... it's meeting someone with the qualities I'd like my partner to have (and who's available, and who thinks I have the qualities she wants in a partner) that seems to be difficult.
teejay
I could be wrong, but I think that to be truly at one with another, she'd almost have to know quite a bit about the religion.
I'm inclined to agree. While my "worldly person" relationships were enjoyable and rewarding, there was this feeling that they would never be able to understand and identify with that part of my life. As Wasasister said to me recently, it would be like trying to understand and identify with the feelings of a holocaust survivor.
So, everybody... ugh, the awful delimma: do I look for an exJW lady in a distant location and try to make a long-distance relationship work? (warning buzzer rings insistently) Or, do I look for a woman with all that self-esteem/honesty/love-of-life stuff, who nevertheless will never understand the JW aspect of my life?
I dunno. Maybe both, huh? Maybe it'll work itself out. Maybe I worry too much. Maybe it's too late for me to be up still fooling with this. Good night, everyone.
COMF
