I don't know how many read my prior post "problems with JW girlfriend and her family", but I feel the need to continue the story as it is very current and is taking quite a toll on both of us.
She and I also work together at a grocery store, so even if she does/did decide to break things off (because of her parents and the religion) we would still see each other (I'll get to this in a minute). We both know that we still love each other and that we deserve to be together, but can this religion be stronger than true love????? I will just cry while I'm driving because (typical of breakups) EVERYTHING reminds me of us- maybe not directly, but I can connect anything to our relationship in a few degrees of separation. My heart literally aches and I am desperate for her, but How do I show her that when she is telling herself "she shouldn't even be talking to me"? What do I do when I can look at her and see what she is trying to make herself not talk to me or avoid me, but I know she loves me. Do you know how much this hurts?
The hardest part is that we didn't "split up" because one of us did the other wrong. Isn't this why relationships don't last? because the people just aren't compatible together- right? Well we had a phenomenal relationship- we never argued, we wanted nothing more than to always be with each other- everywhere. Towards the end of December (before her parents found out) we were talking about moving in together and we knew that is what we both wanted.
Another problem is that I think her parents, who have cut her off from all contact with me, are trying to tell her that if I really loved her, I would start studying the Bible with the witnesses. This is something I am about to do too....I am desperate and I think that it would be fair if maybe I just went to a meeting or something (because she DID go against her "beliefs" for 10 months)- just to show them that I really do love their daughter. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Her parents are ridiculously strict (they are from poland and have only lived in the U.S. for 20 yrs.) I don't want to lose her, but part of me thinks that this could be some ploy to just get me to be a witness. I need honest unbiased advice- i don't want to hear the word cult or anything. I know there are a lot of bitter people, but I feel like this is the love of my life and I would do anything to have her. Please keep this in mind.
Anyway, about four nights ago, I went into our workplace to get my schedule. She was working and I went up and talked to her. She smiled and said "I was just having a conversation with you in my head for the past hour." I guess this means they didn't brainwash her feelings away. So we continued to talk and she said that she might have to transfer to another store (just because of our situation). I got pretty mad and asked her if this was HER OWN DECISION. She hesitated and said, "Well, it was suggested" I started to walk away-She was crying uncontrollably- I WAS FURIOUS! I guess out of sight, out of mind is the reasoning. She said that it is too painful to have to see me every day. I think this is more of a female thing than a religious thing. So I didn't walk away, we talked more and then went upstairs to the employee lounge. We ended up hugging and then she said "I want to be with you for the rest of my life". We ended up kissing and this is after she had a judicial committee grant her a reproval if she indeed changes her ways. This tells me that the fear is toward the human organization and not to God. Because if it was toward God Himself, she would be much more fearful of Him seeing her performing this "satan-like behavior". (You know -like kissing the one you love?) So that was that.
Last night she drove by my house but didn't stop. Today I saw her at work and she just smiled nervously and looked away quickly. I HONESTLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO_ SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE- THIS IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.