A new MS was never told by the PO HOW to make announcements. He read EVERY item in the KM announcement section INCLUDING EVERY publication in EVERY language. He was not a good reader yet he t r i e d to pronounce every langage listed. There were at least 30! I had to run away to the bathroom because I couldn't stop HYSTERICALLY laughing.
Odd announcements at meetings/conventions
by POs Son 40 Replies latest jw experiences
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Angharad
One time in our hall there was a very embarrassing announcement :
Please could whomever has "borrowed" the KH vacuum cleaner bring it back
Yes thats right - someone had swiped the hoover from the KH, this announcement repeated a few times - I dont know if it ever turned up !
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minimus
Ang, that sucks.
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FlyingHighNow
At the circuit assembly in Midland, Texas a brother said that married couples should not show public affection. He said we might excite the passions of young single JWs. Well, as you can guess, that went over very big. Like a lead balloon! The next morning the brother was up on stage apologizing and taking it back. It was all very dramatic and very, very stupid.
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The JellyBaby
".....due to the nature of the neighbourhood, we are asking dear bro's, if you would allow access to the parking lot, at the rear of the hall, for the more 'Senoir' members of the congregation...blah..blah...blah..."
This one I could not beleive. The older Elders and other 'Senior' members all had the top of the range cars..Mercs, BMW,Toyotas, Fords...etc..etc..So basically,"... if you had an old shittymobile, could you keep out of the carpark please, and let those with more valuable motors have the secure parking...."
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mkr32208
it went over real well... all us moms were hoping our babies would poop a big stinky one just so we could leave it in the trash there in rebellion.
Should have left it in the contribution box!
I'm with you on the sitting thing blonde I never stood for that crap... you got a lot of dirty looks when you sat but I never gave a rats about that either!
Ok here's the funny thing that I did and I swear that it's true and really happened!
When I lived in new york before they built the assembly hall in rochester we used to have our assemblies at the clemens center in Elmira it was a very nice very posh building and it had private boxes in the balcony with REALLY comfy armchairs I mean this place was the BOMB! any way no one ever sat in the boxes as I guess that was being to vain or imodest or some such crap! Well one year when I was about 12 or 13 me and my brother sat in the box my parents were ok with it because as kids no one could give us too much crap about putting on airs (plus my dad was an elder so we were good) any way ding dong speaker gets up to give the announcements and I'm sitting there right over the stage in my pimp box and I'm doodling in my note pad and my sleeve is all turned around from getting up to sing then sitting and so I snap my arm to straighten my sleeve and my pen flies right out of my hand and NAILS THE GUY ON STAGE! Oh my freaking god 3000 people are all looking at me my dad grabs me and HAULS me off to yell at me he was so mortified that I didnt' really even get in trouble he was so shocked that he just stuttered at me! This must be a repressed memory because I had forgotten all about it until I read this post so I called my mom and she filled in the details and she's STILL embarrassed! This was 18 YEARS ago hahahahahahaha
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FlyingHighNow
Fords...etc..etc
Fords must be more valuable in England than they are in the USA. Cool. Who'd a thunk it.
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Peppermint
No, Fords are crap here as well.
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kwintestal
Fords are crap everywhere.
My brother threw up during the announcements and made the MS gag.
I usually waited until I got home to throw up.
Kwin
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ValiantBoy
Wow..that S.H.I.T announcement has been told about several different areas...
We once had a disfellowshipping announcement made after the concluding song. Our PO, who was severly lacking in people skills anyhow, ran the announcement and the concluidng remarks together:"This is to inform the congregation that T.W. has been disfellowshipped. Let's thank Jehovah."