by POs Son 40 Replies latest jw experiences
: I did call the information board, the "bulletin board" once from the platform to make up for my towing the party line on plastic diapers....
What hypocrisy! They can't use the term "bulletin board" because it is derived from the "papal bull" board, yet they still continue to use the names of Months and Days named after pagan Gods!
What a bunch of losers.
Farkel
One time in our hall there was a very embarrassing announcement :Please could whomever has "borrowed" the KH vacuum cleaner bring it back
this happened a few times in our hall too. both the vacuum and the leaf blower had a strange habit of disappearing on us.
What odd, silly, embarassing, inappropriate or just plain weird announcements have you heard at meetings, conventions and assemblies?
Just about everything seemed to be directed to a group of 2 year olds. Maybe that was the idea.
Ang, that sucks.
Min, everyone misses my jokes as well.
I remember at the "Godly Devotion" convention years back..they told us to take our valuable belongings like cameras and purses, binoculars,etc. with us when we went to lunch or whatever....they warned us "Remember, everyone in attendance does not practice Godly Devotion"...WTF??.....what kinda mess is that? isn't that common sense....no need to announce it in this particular setting that there are boosters among us....that's everywhere you go....but they don't announce it...it's just a given!!!......
A brother was giving a talk on Christian patience, especially emphasizing that parents should set a "fine" example for their children. At the same time, a 3 year old child of one of the JW parents in the audience had been crying and protesting about having to sit still. The JW mother silently grabbed her, hurriedly carried her outside, putting a frim hand over the child's mouth, the child must have bit hard on the mother's hand (I saw the bite mark later).
She was then taken to the rear of the hall and loudly spanked - this outside location happened to be the approximate location of the kingdom hall platform from which the brother was delivering his "dignified" dissertation on patient Christian parenting. The mother's voice could be heard coming through the open windows in short angry bursts as she hit the child:
"I'll give you something to cry about you little creep! I'll make you bleed the way you've made me bleed!" And variations on that for what seemed like minutes.
If you had been in the audience and had your eyes closed, you would have sworn that the shrill condemnation actually came from the platform. This sounds funny; but in actual fact, there was a leaden hush throughout the hall. I'll give the brother credit for maintaining his composure and barely stumbling through the remainder of his talk.
When the district conventions were still being held at the old Milwaukee County Stadium a "brother" announced that the meeting for those interested in attending Bethel would be located on the second INTERCOURSE. I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pantyhose. I wanted to scream out over the crowd..."It's CONCOURSE you freakin' idiot"!!!!!!! It was the highpoint of the convention.
Cathy L.
I rememer during the service meeting the brother had been talking about the new magazines that has arrived the the KH that week and one of them had the topic of breast cancer and showed how women can give themselves breast exams. Well Crazy Brother decided instead of reading it he would SHOW us how to give oursleves a breast exam. At first my jaw dropped that he was actually doing this and then i just laughed hysterically for the rest of the meeting
It does not belong here, but it was so good that I'll put it here:
I was in the middle of a service talk with questions and comments included, and asked about what was one major problem society was having, or something like that. A sister raises her hand, I ask her what she thinks, and she looks straight at me and says, "Are you thinking about sex?" So half the congregation starts laughing, and I find nothing else to say than "Not at this very moment", which makes the second half join in. I for a brief moment was considering in stead replying "Not when looking at you", but I settled for the "not now" - version.
During a service meeting on local needs an elder gets up to the podium and then someone turns off all the lights in the hall. He then pulls out a flashlight and begins to read his announcement. "If we don't receive enough donations this is how we will be conducting our meetings."
