by MM090503 39 Replies latest social relationships
Not only do disfellowshippings happen, but they can have tragic consequences.
Here is the letter my wife wrote after her father committed suicide. He had been disfellowshipped (and ignored by his friends as a result) for over a year. It's a tough read, but it is real and it offers rea life insight into what life is really like amongst Jehovah's Witnesses:
Alright, I'm just gonna ignore the crap I've seen spewed thus far.... I am personally a Jehovah's Witness and I can confirm that disfellowshipping does happen. If your boyfriend thinks it doesn't, his head has been under a rock. Despite my irritation at some of the things said in this thread so far I won't bother commenting on my opinion of disfellowshipping but it DOES happen. I have 2 very close friends whose mother has been disfellowshipped 3 times and is still disfellowshipped. There are a myriad of other incidents of disfellowshipping that I've heard of and seen myself. It happens...
yes megg u can tell him that it does happen in the jwsin fact my brother is n my dad was before he passed
Not only is disfellowshipping Really happening but it's also found in the bible. The amish do it too but I'm not sure about the mormon's. I was disfellowshipped Dec. 1993 right after I spent the night at a guy's house. My mom called the elders and told them I did not come home all that night and two days later I was pulled in to a meeting with me, my mom, and two elders. That's when I was disfellowshipped. I tried afterwards to get reinstated. I went for months to the Kingdom Hall trying to prove that I wanted back in. At my "probationary hearing" (ha ha) I was told that they knew Jehovah forgave me but that I needed to prove myself to the rest of the congregation by showing up more at the hall. I just looked at them and I had an epiphany. I realized at that moment that they were just men in a religous club and that they were not govered by God because God knew that I was sorry. They will tell you that they only disfellowship unrepenting people but I know for a FACT that is not true. My sister and a few of my friends are disfellowshipped as well and they all have their own story. Example: Sister- disfellowshipped for saying to the elders and to other people in the congregation that dis-f me was wrong. Friend- dis-f for having sex with a man that later became her husband. Friend- dis-f for skipping school with the wrong guy who ended up raping her and she became pregnant from that rape. Friend- dis-f for threatening a man with a knife, she was later diagnosed with bi-polar disorder ( a mental illness that you cannot hold people accountable for). There is more to my story that I have left out. The man I spent the night with has been my husband going on 11 years. That night we did not have sex, we did not even see each other naked. We just stayed up all night talking and fell asleep in each others arms. The elders did not believe that I was telling the truth. But I was. God would know that. If the elders were govered by God, they would know that. As a side note to this story. I was in a car accident 2 weeks after I was married. I was close to dying and I asked my mom for the elders to pray over me. Keep in mind that I came from a stricked jw family that did not talk to anyone that was not a jw. So these people at the Hall were my family and friends, they were everyone I hung out with since I was a baby. So I asked for the elders (uncles to me) to see me possibly for the last time. They told my mom that they would not come into the hospital for a disfellowshipped person and that I was dead already in God's eyes. My mom came to tell me the news. I was devastated. I had a punctured liver, broken tailbone, phemure bone, hip, 2 ribs, wrist, and I was pregnant at the time and lost that baby. My mom said to me " What do you expect when you marry a worldly boy".
The cruelty of this organization will not be felt and will not be noticed until you disagree. They truely are wolves in sheeps clothing to the imperfect person. I strongely recommend to all who are thinking of being a jw or who are studing to be a jw to find love and a since of community within yourself and don't go looking for it here. To the mentally ill who are thinking of joining this organization it will offer you a since of control and well being. Even if it is a false since, it may work for you. However, expect to have to give up family or friends at some point in your life. They will tell you no that they encourage a good family life and that they only kick people out that are evil. THAT IS NOT TRUE. They will kick you out too for any imperfection.
Life has not been the same for me. I have not spoken to my mother in 7 years because she told me "If you're not going to be in the paradise than I might as well get used to it now". She has not met my son who is 5 years old now. And the only friend I have is the ex-jw friend I told you about that slept with her boyfriend who later became her husband. The accident happened when I was 19 years old and I have since learned to walk again. I have 2 children and a wonderful husband that helped me when I was crippled and when no one else would love me. He was raised a catholic but doesn't do anything religous anymore besides spend time with his family. One last word of advice. Beware of anyone saying that they and only they are Gods chosen people. All things in this universe come from the smallest most minute thing- a cell.
(((((love11)))))
I hate when I hear these stories. "Love your enemy." Is not a family member who wishes to live a life other than yours, not better than your enemy?
Bryan
Have You Seen My Mother
I was told that they knew Jehovah forgave me but that I needed to prove myself to the rest of the congregation
They really don't hear themselves, do they? Jehovah's forgiveness is not valid until it is approved by the congregation, eh? Perhaps Jehovah was being presumptuous by granting forgiveness. Maybe next time he should check with the elders? first.
I'm surprised they don't disfellowship Jehovah for "running ahead of the organization?."
love11, I'm sorry you suffered so much.
Walter
Thankyou Bryan and Walter for your kind words. Love
MM, not only was I disfellowshipped for writing the Gov. Body a letter, in which I referred to them as the "whitewashed graves and hypocrites" they are.....funny...seems as though someone was allegedly killed once upon a time for calling the pharisees that very same thing......BUT.....do you remember in John, Ch. 8, wherein Jesus saved the adulteress from the mob that was going to stone her? In the New World Translation (JW bible), that particular passage of scriptures is in FINE PRINT and is NEVER referred to in their publications (I researched their archived publications - ALL of 'em - because it would be an act of mercy....a reason to be merciful and show love and compassion for someone who'd made a mistake.....they have no love, show no mercy.....unless the WTS can profit from it or the elders can on a personal level (you let my family member slide and I'll let you family member slide)
Dear Meg:
Forget about all of that stuff posted above. It is true of course, but merely reading it won't be pursuasive.
Simply have your boyfriend ask his bible study-conductor or a JW that he is close to about disfellowshipping. Have the person explain fully to him the JW viewpoint on disfellowshipping.
(But don't stop there!!!!)
NEXT he should ask whether there are ANY DF'd ones right now in the congregation that are attending the Kingdom Hall. If there are, then he should 1) observe for himself how the others treat that person and 2) if possible try to contact that person or better yet go and TALK to that person right in the Kingdom Hall.
THE REACTION THAT THIS WOULD PRODUCE WILL BE ALL THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND NEEDS TO DRIVE HOME WHAT HE NEEDS TO KNOW.
I imagine that he may find anything from fear, surprise, welcome, relief in the reaction of the DF'd one that he approaches (which will be very insightful to him)
and more importantly HE WILL NO DOUBT BE either immediately taken aside, spoken to or soon afterwards approached by his study-conductor, JW friend or an elder who will scold him or inform him that he should shun the DF'd one if he wants to continue on his study. THIS WILL BE ALL THAT HE NEEDS as I think he will certainly have doubts about gettting baptized as a JW after that.
IF THERE ARE NO DF'd ones at his Kingdom Hall then the next best thing for him to do after the initial question to his study-conductor/JW friend/elder is to pointedly ask them:
1) Tell me what would happen to me, how would I be treated if I were to get baptized and some time afterwards be disfellowshipped?
He might further inquire about the specific judicial committee process (which will be enlightening) and he might raise the issue of SINCE HE IS BEING ENCOURAGED TO DISASSOCIATE HIMSELF FROM WORLDLY/NON-JW PERSONS, i.e. get rid of all of his old friends, AND MAKE FRIENDS WITH ONLY JWS, what will be the social impact upon him in the event that he were to be DF'd?? Let him ponder that a while and that will no doubt get him thinking about it too.
hope all goes well,
Eduardo
yup - have him ask his instructor - what's up with that?
