All about Farts ,,,,,,yes i said Farts

by kls 42 Replies latest social humour

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  kls

  A fart can be quiet, a fart can be loud, some leave a powerful ,poisonous cloud,,,,

  A fart can be short, or a fart can be long, some farts have been known to sound just like a song,,,,

  A fart can create a most curious medley, A fart can be harmless, or silent, but deadly,,,,

  A fart might not smell ,while others are vile, A fart may pass quickly, or linger awhile,,,

  A fart can occur in a number of places, and leave everyone with strange looks on their faces,,,

  From wide open prairie, to small elevators, A fartwill find all of us sooner or later,,,,

  But not all farts are bad, this is simply not true-we mustn't forget old farts like you.

  This is a Birthday card i got for my nephew and thought it was so funny,,,,,,,,HA ,ha
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  whyamihere

  That is really funny. Thanks for sharing!

  Brooke
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  calamityjane

  I get it, Candidly Nuts not only poops all over the place, she farts too? I think there needs to be some house training done.

  cj
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  kls

  Calamity ,,Candidly -NUTS has Gale Force FARTS
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  whyamihere

  I think you people need to see a Doctor about your "Personal" problems!

  Brooke
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  JH

  Pull my finger
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  BrendaCloutier

  Candidly, that was great! Thanx for sharing without the ... smell.

  There was this woman that went to the doctor because she could not stop farting. She explained to the doctor that they were silent, and they didn't smell, but she seemed to fart continuously!

  The doctor gave her a prescription and told her to come back in two weeks.

  She went back to the doctor in two weeks and said "Doctor! I don't know what you gave me but I'm still farting constantly, they're still silent, but now they smell horrible!"

  The doctor told her "Good. now that we have that sinus infection cleared up, let's look into your hearing."
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  whyamihere

  OMG.....Brenda!LOL

  That was so funny. Never heard that one before!

  Brooke
• 

  JamesThomas

  Darling... says a husband sheepishly to his wife, Let's try a new position tonight.
  Good idea! She replies: You stand in front of the sink and do the dishes,
  and I'll sit in front of the TV and fart.!
• 

  calamityjane

  ALZHEIMER FART Gets lost on the way to your anus, and turns back and comes out your throat (a.k.a. burp)	BEER FARTS After consuming large amounts of beer, your body turns into a still, and the fermentation process continues.
  ARROGANT FART "My farts don't stink", or "Girls don't fart".	BRAIN FART You need to fart, but you suffer from a mental block.
  ARTSY FART A true work of art. Major points from the judges for smell, color, texture, and longevity.	DONKEY FART Comes from an ass and honks.
  ASSAULT FART Louder than bombs, with flames shooting out your ass.	GHOST FART The ones you lay in your sleep that don't make a sound and don't smell.
  HOME ALONE FART The loud, smelly ones you lay in the comfort of your own home.	NOT ME FART Releasing the hounds in public, and blaming it on someone else.
  JAIL FART Stuck inside you all day, then makes its escape as soon as you get home from work.	OLD FART Very ripe and pungent, comes without warning, and makes your hemorrhoids flap.
  SHOE FART You bend over to tie your shoe laces and Oops!	TANK FART Your farts can also be used as gas.
  TIRE FART A real blow-out.	U.F.O. FART When someone else releases a NOT ME FART.