I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!

chuckyy

HI

My wifes father has just died. He wasn't a JW but his wife is.My wife and I are recently disassociated.

The thing is, the reason my wife and i disassociated is because of cruel comments made by certain sisters toward my disabled daughter. Now my wife has to see these 2 particular people everyday at school (Their 2 kids are in class with ours) Now usually, they stand away from my wife waiting for their kids and walk out after us. Today though they quite deliberately and literally 'brushed' past my wife, noses in the air to emphasize the fact that they were shunning her. They did this because her father has just died and I am sure that the attitude was: 'We are not going to offer you our sympathy.'

Now to be honest, I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can only describe as pure rage! I want revenge!!!! And i do not know what I may be capable of...i don't know how to deal with this. I want to hurt them in the worst possible way!!! Can anyone help me or give me any advice?????

How do I deal with these feelings????

CHUKKY

Odrade

Write letters to the local paper, cc to the local elder body. Call a radio station. THEN, get involved in something worthwhile where YOU are treating others with kindness, respect and helpfulness. It won't change a thing with them, but it will make their attitudes seem less important.

But, I think this is a prime example of how their "loving" discipline arrangement is thoroughly distorted. It's a bad policy to begin with, but it gives people like that full permission to behave terribly. Remember that it is THEIR character flaw, not yours. Don't think for a minute that nobody notices... I'm sure there are plenty at your daughter's school who have observed this unchristian behaviour.

kls

Can't say i blame you for having these feeling but i would try to remember the sourse of who is shunning you. If anyone is to be shunned it is the jws who as you know lie and protect molesters.I would give them all high and mightys a taste of their teachings.

calamityjane

I know how you feel, but by getting back at them, you just lower yourself to their pathetic level.

I hate the shunning crap, but rather than letting it eat away at you, you have to ignore it. I know, easier said than done.

cj

Wolfgirl

That's f****** ridiculous. So much for loving Christians.

I know it's difficult, but wasting your energy on them will only p*** you off more. Just realise how pathetic they are, and take satisfaction in knowing they are wasting their lives, and most likely, won't realise it until they're old and grey.

I'm very sorry for your loss, and for their shoddy treatment of you. "By their fruits you will recognise them" indeed.

trevor

chuckyy

Your wife must be in a lot of pain right now. Save all your emotional energy for her.

She needs comfort and love from you. You can't offer this if you are twisted up with hate. The cruel and heartless JWs are just doing what JWs do. They have never known real love and that is their loss - please don't make it yours.

AlmostAtheist

I'm sorry to hear about your family's loss.

The heartless pricks among JW's that use "shunning" as an excuse to go the extra mile and act like true assholes boil my blood, too. It's important to remember that YOU disassociated THEM. And here's an excellent example of why. Why would anyone associate with self-righteous bastards like that?

They are going to act like that, it's in their nature. Not JW nature, but the nature of these particular individuals. There are many individual JW's that would have hugged your wife and expressed their condolences, Df'd, DA'd, or not. (And many that wouldn't, I know. Not the point) Don't take your ire out on them, it will only cause you to become more angry. If you're the writing type, pen a letter to the editor about it. Let them see what being a JW lets people turn into.

The important thing for you is to let it go. There's nowhere to go with this that won't make you more angry with them.

Whatever you do, don't do anything you'll regret. Violence will get you jailed, no matter how deserving the target.

Glad you're here, chuckyy. Among this group, you're welcomed, honored, and appreciated. Screw them.

Dave

Sunspot

How awful for your poor wife!!! Even when my DFed SIL's dad died I (and quite a few other JWs) went to the calling hours and I went up to him hugged him, and told him how sorry I was. I didn't give a flying fig who saw me and what they thought. It's SO unkind.

I think I would go and tell the school staff just what these people are doing---and why. They should know that "all the smiling and happy JWs" are not what they portray, and how cruel they and their beliefs are.

hugs,

Annie

cyber-sista

Glad you're here, chuckyy. Among this group, you're welcomed, honored, and appreciated. Screw them.
Dave

Repeating Dave's words here as they are well said.

I have come to the conclusion that people like this are very sick and they are using their religion as some kind of a power trip that they can use on other people to elevate themselves. I think that most of the JWs have very low self esteem and people like this generally resort to these sort of power trip antics to elevate their broken egos (the organization in its very teaching promotes this lowly mindset) Remember how we were told that we were good for nothing slaves?

I think that writing a letter to the editor about this situation is a good idea--or contacting a local paper with your story. In order to establish some respect in the public eye though you have to go into it with a cool head (though you can still have some energy around it for sure). Yes, it is painful and it is unfair, but remember you are dealing with a very mentally disturbed group of people here. I am sure there are many people in your town who will offer you their sincere heartfelt sympathies and condolences, as I do now. As far as those who are still trapped in the Org they will reap what they sow and they will have their torture of sitting there at the tediously boring meetings and assemblies for the next several years and associating within their group of backstabbing comrades--that's enough punishment for anyone. Just be glad your out.

Take some deep breaths and a walk in the woods to clear your head,

I wish you and your family well,

cybs

AK - Jeff

Chuckyy

Condolences to you and your wife in this time of loss.

Try and remember the reason you left in the first place was 'lack of love'.

I have noticed too that the locals love to hate us - I lost my Mom last year and not a single witness showed, except two that I personally invited to the funeral home [and we are not DA'd, DF'd, and I guess technically are in 'good standing'].

So, do not let them win - DO NOT LET THEM CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS NOW THAT YOU HAVE LEFT. Don't hand your power over to them!

You have taken back your lives - they are to be pittied for the state of lovelessness that they occupy. Try and harness that emotional roller-ride into productive directions -especially comfort of your wife and kids at this time of loss.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you

Jeff

I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!

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