I forgave them a long time ago. I take some comfort in the fact that they really don't know any better. By making a big deal out of it, and letting it hurt my feelings, I was only enabling their deluded sense of martyrdom. They view their requirement to shun me as a test of their sad, pitiful faith. I feel sorry for them more than anything these days. They are all miserable people.
Can you ever forgive your family for shunning you?
by jeanniebeanz 25 Replies latest jw friends
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Whiskeyjack
I guess I'm lucky since my parents have bent over backwards to "be cool" with us. As I've mentionned all of my sibs (5 of us) still have a slightly strained relationship with our folks (hard workers who while diligent in their programing obligations would also stand up for us. My 2nd brother was esttranged for several years with no contact and it nearly broke their hearts but he's reconciled with them 3 years back.
We do our part in being "descreet" in our visits by keeping a low profile around other JW relatives/associates and events to make it less awkward for them. My dad never agreed with sending people to Coventry (shunning) even though he was a "by the book" type of man.
Point is though, Dozens of relatives partied with my sibs and parents when we visisted them out east this summer. Most are still JW's and it was this thread that just made me realize how unusual their behaviour was. One of them is an elder to boot but has experienced a little reality with his own grown children in recent years.
I was interested in Taylor J.'s comment of shunning his relatives instead. I've talked to others in the same boat as many of us and agreed that we have an ethical dilema. Do we let them break the rules and maintain contact or shun them instead until they renounce the org.? (it rankles a little to let them have their cake and eat it too don't you think?)
So, in addition to Jeannie's query, I would ask if anybody broke off contact for reasons similar to the above.
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DHL
I remember a saying that goes like: "Imagine there's war and no one attends."
They might be at (ideological) war but I don't want to attend. I don't have to play their game. Their game is one of accusations and the necessity to forgive. I don't need to accuse or forgive. I just go on with my life and give them what I feel like. I don't think I have the right to expect a certain attitude. I'm only responsible for myself to do the best I can so that at the end of each day I can look me straight in the eye knowing I have always been true to myself.
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Wolfgirl
I can forgive my sister and brother, because they are still so brainwashed and think they're doing the right thing. I know how difficult this is for them, and they just aren't mentally and emotionally equipped to see past the programming right now.
But my parents? No. I am beyond caring what those two abusive people do or say. My life is FAR less stressful without them in it. I do not consider them to be a real mother and father. They are playing the victim despite being the abusive ones, so they can kiss my pasty white...bottom. I don't carry the anger around with me anymore; I just don't care WHAT they do. They are meaningless to me. -
Satans little helper
No, not now and not ever. They can go fcuk themselves.
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squinks
Yes,
I miss having a sister.
It sure is sad how a religion can take away my sister. She is MY sister dammit!