by Dirt Rocker 93 Replies latest jw friends
(((( Dirt Rocker ))))
I certainly understand your not wanting to give too much of your heart to too many guys.
Just remember, you are a cutie so lots of guys are after you. This means that it is up to you to filter out all of the "bad dogs".
Take your time! There is NO rush! There is no need for you to be "seeing" someone at all times.
Wait for that guy who makes you happy, not because he does things to get your attention, but because you just like everything about him no matter what he does.
Here is the link to what crizlee claims is his hot or not http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=OEAUORH&key=YGC
looks like a dude to me.
Any way this is all getting off of the point of your thread. I don't want to hijack your thread. I was just pointing out the type of thing you might be running into with guys around your age at this time.
Just remember, you are a cutie so lots of guys are after you.
thanx..
i wish.. *sigh*
My life is already stressed enough as it is. I don't need any more added stress. I need help.
Dirt, you got to get over that falling in love with so many guys. When you meet a guy you like, you will feel some magic (infatuation). Most of the time that magic is going to wear off when you get to know them better. You have to remind yourself that that magic is not love. If you really work on it, you can get to where it's more important for you to have fun and enjoy life with your friends than to hop from guy to guy. Ask some more experienced women for some tips and advice. They were where you are now once and they learned a lot. I know, I am one of those older women. I went through the same treatment from a lot of guys when I was a teenager. It didn't take me long to learn either.
I'll tell you, I've heard many guys pine and obsess over the one girl who is not interested in them or in having sex with them. I've seen guys pine for months and even years. Yet they drop the girl who gave herself easily and head for the next conquest. With some of them the fun is in the chase and once they've caught a girl, the magic's gone very quickly.
There's also this thing called a conscience. Yeah, you may think they don't have them, but dig this: they want you for sex so badly they can't see straight. Okay, you give it to them. Well, then they feel sick. Why? Because they realize on some level that you are a human being, not a walking talking vagina with boobs. And they also realize they don't really care about you. So from then on they can hardly look at you much less call you. Your sweet face is a reminder to them of how cold their blood really is. They want to be able to mess with you with no guilt. They do feel guilt though and, Dirt it's not a pleasant feeling.
The good news is that not all men are like that. And hey, not all teenaged boys are like that, They really aren't.I knew some very respectufl teenaged guys. Don't judge by the responses you get from some of the" mature" guys on this forum either. Some of the grown men here are experiencing delayed adolescence. Something about being a JW as a teenager delays emotional adolescence.
Good post, Elsewhere.
Here is my .02
You have your whole life in front of you, so why would you want to get tied down now? Go to college so you can have a better chance at getting a career going instead of just having "a job". If you get a serious BF at this time it will break your heart once again or mess you up in college. Live life and do things, go on cruises, vacations ect. Some things are harder to do tied down. And in the course of this time your horizons will be broadened and your view of the world will change. So what is important in a relationship at this point in your life might be lower on your list of things you look for in a person a few years from now. Plus as you get older and get around more you meet alot more guys to choose from besides the highschool guys you have to pick from.
Like it has been pointed out before in this thread....men are dogs. If a guy tells you that he is "just" your friend, he is 1. gay and truly just a friend or 2. Waiting for the right time to make his move on ya.
By the way you are a little hottie, so that means more of the dogs are going to be hanging around the yard. So it is going to be harder for you to find the gem of a guy your looking for.
Heatmiser
It's because I'm a 17 year old girl who likes to have a guy there that I know cares about me for me. I used to have that. I feel like I need it to be happy, and that's not a good feeling. I don't want that feeling, but I don't know how to get rid of it.I'm just wondering why you think "men suck", but some girls, with their desperate desire to mate for life with someone at a ridiculously young age, don't suck?
Respectfully, I'd like to point out, Dirt didn't say she wants to find a mate for life yet. She would like someone who does care about her for her. That's a good thing in any kind of relationship, no?
In a long winded way I was trying to say "Enjoy your youth and when the right guy comes along you will know it." And not to get caught up in love and realationships at this time in our life.
Lol,
Don't worry too much, Dirt Rocker. You're young and totally gorgeous, that's why you're having to contend with so much b.s.
When you get older, say, thirty nine or so, lol, there won't be so many guys competing for your affections, cause even a lot of the guys your own age will be out chasing after younger women (ahh, the beauty and allure of youth). You may look back on these days with fond rememberance then;)
Loving people is always somewhat of a gamble, as every one of us human beans are imperfect (albeit some are more hurtful than others).However, consider the alternative of not taking a risk on love once in awhile.One can be a pretty lonely number.
Guys are human. Guys have hormones coursing through their bodies and generations of socialization that encourage them to "sow their wild oats".Women are socialized to be "nice" and nurturing, and to control not only their own sexual urges, but also to try to "civilize" their mates as well (not that these are bad things, when done in moderation, lol).Guys who "score" on a regular basis are "pimp". Women who act on their sexual urges as freely as guys are "sluts". Guys start to peak sexually in their teens, while women don't reach their peak until much later (and often, sadly, women reach their peak at an age where they are no longer as sexually desirable by society's standards).
Sometimes, I think this sexual "mismatch" is God's great cosmic joke.
As far as wanting someone to care about you, that is a common desire for men and women alike. Men just usually tend to express it in a different way-like telling you that you have a great (insert body part of choice in here), and badgering you constantly for sex. For them, sex IS caring. It's how they demonstrate that they care.It's how they feel the most that you care about them. It's also how they often just satisfy themselves at times.And rarely, it's used by some dangerous men as a weapon of abuse and power. The trick is learning to discern which is which with different guys, and as you get a bit more dating experience under your belt, your b.s.-o-meter will get better at sorting out the truly predatory guys from the nice but "hormonally challenged" ones.
In the meantime, may I suggest a couple of things? First of all, it's a pretty heavy thing to expect any person to be your only reason for existence. Relationships and knowing that one special person cares about you can be very fulfilling, but they are not the end all and be all of life. Put some of that awesome energy of youth into obtaining an education, both in the classroom and the world. Get to know yourself first, so you know what strengths and weaknesses you have to bring to a relationship. Secondly, you may want to try volunteer work. Having someone who cares about you doesn't necessarily require that the "someone" be a boyfriend. There are lots of other relationships you can foster that give you the chance to care for someone and be cared for by them without having sexual chemistry get in the way.There are scores of senior citizens out there who have been tossed by the wayside in our disposable society who would love to have someone to talk to and cultivate friendships with. You may just be surprised how cool some of them are if you give take the time to get to know them:)
Regards,
Cicatrix
17? Your not even out of the starting gate and you're this jacked?
I hate to sound like my parents, but you need to focus on being a young girl/woman and not be in such a hurry to be all grown up. Being grown up is over rated and will come eventually. Lighten up and enjoy everything in front of you while you still can. Most of us I would venture to say wish we were 17 again and could drop all the adult BS we have accumulated for ourselves.
At 17 can you honestly and realistically have such high expectations (and expect them to be met)? do you meet your own criteria? There are women that are 30 that want what you want. It all starts at home with you.
I point to this entire thread as proof that this generation is so F'd up and "boy/girl" obsessed, that it makes us stunted and immature adults. My gawd the "sex" stuff happens inevitably. Too much "The OC", "Laguna Beach" and "My Sweet 16" bullsh*t TV. Welcome to the 90210 generation. Life isn't and shouldn't be soap opera. I'm al for young people dating and such, but it doesn't have to be so serious, have some fun, instead of searching for everything to be some "perfect" notion you may fancy.
Whatever happened to kids being kids? This is not a condescending or defamatory remark just my opinion and feelings. There's an old saying "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen". Think about it.
I guess I hate unnecessary and unwarranted and self-inflicted DRAMA- never could stomach much of it. I've had my share and don't wish it on anyone.
Gawd I sound like an adult- I'm scaring myself...
u/d (of the wish I was a kid again class)
I'm sorry I just have a
