Which did you think was worse, df'd or da'd people? (page 2)

Mamacat

I don't remembering anyone in our congregation ever formally DA'ing themselves.

Disfellowshippings weren't too common either, but usually there was a "gasp" from the audience when one was announced, even if the rumors had been flying for a month or so about the person. I think it made it seem worse that they never told the reason. Almost everytime, people speculated it was about sex...and maybe it wasn't at all.

I always thought it seemed unfair that you couldn't speak to those DF'd. It wasn't really emphasized that they did something wrong....it was always being said "You know you can't speak to them." My neighbor was DF'd when I was small for smoking. She had always offered me cookies or to come over and talk to her. She was an older woman. Then, all of a sudden, I couldn't speak to her anymore, but she would still say HI to me. I felt so embarrassed to not say anything! I remember telling my mom "Well, Daddy (non-JW) smokes, and I can talk to him."

Frog

I remember a nice quiet girl I had grown up with wrote the letter when she was 18, I felt so terrible for her, I just assumed it was because she couldn't live up to the high standard the dubs set. In hindsight she now has my full respect, what gutst that girl had. There is definitely a stigma attached to people who request to be disasociated. It's a shame that she felt she in fact had to make a choice. She chose not to be a dub anymore, and on account had to choose between the lesser of two evils. This is their discipline and label people, not yours. We shouldn't get so hung up on how those on the inside view it, especially since a whole bunch of us know that we once too held the same ignorant perspective. I've a good feeling many of them will come round to see it our way in the long run.

luv frog

jeanniebeanz

most of the congregation wished she would just disappear to save them the embarrassment.

tis true... regardless of which way a person chose to end their relationship with the witnesses.

I was an insufferable moron, and if I had the opportunity, I'd go back and kick the s*** out of me...

J

willyloman

I figured anyone who da'd themselves had basically given the finger to the elders

That's about right.

In all the congos I was ever in, the attitude was essentially that the DF'd person left the door open when they left, but the person who wrote a letter and DA'd himself locked it behind him.

Whiskeyjack

Same in my region. Being "DF'd only meant the person was probably "weak" (and it was a punishment administered by the org.). A person who "DA'd" themselves were a "different" matter (rebelliosness was the worst sin anyone could commit).

W.

GetBusyLiving

:She was an older woman. Then, all of a sudden, I couldn't speak to her anymore, but she would still say HI to me. I felt so embarrassed to not say anything! I remember telling my mom "Well, Daddy (non-JW) smokes, and I can talk to him."

What a horrible religion. What did we do for so many years? How could we treat people this way. I don't know how we could get involved with this stuff and treat people like this - what the hell were my parents thinking to get wrapped up in this shit??

You could be a crack whore distributing blow jobs at a football game and get disfellowshipped but as long as you BELIEVE then its all good.. but to DISASSOCIATE dear GOD you must have lost your mind and are now a Satanic piece of garbage!

I just hope the tide turns one day and that I can live to see it.

GBL

seattleniceguy

This thread illustrates why I chose to DA myself. Some here don't like the idea of DA'ing because they say it's playing their game. I really couldn't care less about their game. My goal was to make an impact on people, to make a vote. In the Witness mind, DF = Weakness. DA = ...Holy sht! I knew I only had one more chance to give people an idea of where my mind was. If I was disfellowshipped (for apostasy, most likely) that chance would be wasted. So I used their system to make my point.

SNG

blondie

All the DAings I heard announced were by default, people who had either joined a church or the military.

All the "apostates" were people who used to live in the area, moved, and then DA'd themselves formally through a letter.

They were demonized and talked about in hushed tones.

People were more apt to say hi to a DF'd person they bumped into.

Blondie

GetBusyLiving

:I really couldn't care less about their game. My goal was to make an impact on people, to make a vote.

Me too SNG. That's exactly why I did it and I'm proud of it.

GBL

cypher50

I DA'd for the same reason that seattleniceguy did...my family wouldn't of gotten the point that I truly didn't believe in my stance if I didn't DA myself. It might be playing their "game" but to my family it is no "game" so I had to do something on their thinking level which showed that I no longer considered myself a JW and DAing was the best thing to do. Also, I didn't want to have any attachment to the WTS organization...

To answer the topic, I always looked at disfellowshipped brothers & sisters with pity because I felt that they were too weak to do what is right...there were a fair share though that I felt needed it to get themselves in line (oh man, I can't believe I thought like that). Disassociating didn't come up much since I lived near Watchtower Farms and the elders in that area are "on top of things" (translation: they are in everyone's business)...I only remember one brother disassociating and he ended up going back to the meetings after a couple of years.

Which did you think was worse, df'd or da'd people?

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