Yes Min they are.
The ones I described are all still very much in. Funny isn't it!
Brooke
What Kind of Family Do You/ Did You Have While In The "Truth"?
by minimus 22 Replies latest jw friends
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minimus
I was half joking.
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whyamihere
So was I
Brooke
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Bumble Bee
I have to say I didn't have it too bad. My father very rarely attended meetings with us. I'm not exactly sure why, I think he was hurt pretty bad in the past and just never really got over it. My mom didn't always go either, but made me go regardless. I used to have to phone around for a ride to the meetings and go by myself, this was as young as 10 when I'd have to arrange my own rides.
We had some df'd relatives, and while we were never really close, I still saw them, and it was never really that big of a deal. The only relative that my mom didn't want us around was her brother a BAC. The two of them had real issues with each others religion. I can remember when my mom was so upset that he was refusing to enter the KH to attend their mothers funeral! I know my mom missed out on family funerals in the past because she wouldn't enter a church. I have to give her credit though, my uncle died this past October, and she attended the funeral in the Pentacostal church!! I was floored when she said she was going. Never in a million years did I see that one coming!
She knows hubby and I don't go to the meetings and so far hasn't pushed things. That may be changing in the future, I can see her cooling towards me lately. When I asked about going to the memorial with her, she kind of hemmed and hawed, said she didn't know the time or the place etc. Even as late as last night she still said she didn't know the exact time. Go figure! They want you to go, but then when you do, they make it difficult for you!
I have a mixed bag of relatives - quite a few that are df'd, some inactive, some very active/elders/pioneers etc. and many that aren't JW's. I think things would have been different if everyone was a JW.
BB
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Nancy Drake
Cheaters, Liars, Materialistic, Prideful, Bashing, Molesting, Drunks, Idolaters, Gossiping, Abusing, Self-righteous, Pre Marital Sex, Smoking and Drug Abuse ETC
Brooke, I always knew I liked your family.
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Effervescent
My family is extremely kind and supportive....... as long as you're a JW.
Which means that most haven't spoken to me in years and when they do they treat me like a second class citizen.
Growing up I had the typical crappy childhood. My father had complete iron-fisted control over his family. I didn't dare speak my mind with him. Last time I talked to him was to invite him to my wedding (he didn't bother, no card either) and I still found myself trying to make him proud of me. That's something I will come to grips with in my head someday... the fact that I'll never be good enough for him.
The rest of my family is a mixed bag. Some flat out don't speak to me now, some do but obviously judge me. The less I speak to any of them the better. I find my mental health is much better when I don't have a whole lot of contact. I start to forget that I'm a BAD BAD person until I'm around them all again. ugh... I could write a book.
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Aude_Sapere
Abusive. All forms.
Only my parents and siblings were 'in the truth'. Extended family was all Catholic and Protestant and we had very, very little contact with them.
Unfortunately, JW "family" is not real family, in most cases.
Min - your comment here twinged my heart. About 15 years ago I took legal custody of one of my siblings. For some reason I was sitting in his school waiting for I don't remember what. The principal - a real nice, kind, compassionate man - come over and sat next me. Asked me how I was doing - I was looking pretty stressed/sad, I guess. I said a few things and then mentioned something about Family Crap. He leaned close and said softly in my ear: "You don't *have* a family." I still tear up when I remember that comment. (I'm crying now thinking about the truth of those words.) But it is true. My JW 'family' was not real family at all. -Aude. -
minimus
Families that show conditional "love" suck.
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Beachbender
Mine was the typical JW family, always "on" when in front of anyone to do with the KH. We were the model family because that was what my dad decided he wanted us to show. I too wasn`t allowed to speak my mind or have an opinion about anything.Studying, KH, FS, assemblies, school, that was my life till 19.My parents even decided when I could leave home to do things and with whom, major control freaks especially my mom. I believe alot had to do with her and the way she knew she was up until we became JW`s, she was a "big flirt" and a guy watcher! On the beach in a bikini in a heartbeat !! I still think to this day she has no idea I recall her and her girlfriends scoping out guys at the beach, and talking to them and getting them to buy them lunch!!! Poor dad at work working hard, mom`s a wantabe slut!! Ok I`m done!!