by ezekiel3 47 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Do you understand that your dedication and baptism identify you as one of Jehovah's Witnesses in association with God's spirit-directed organization?
This is not new in this book, but I think it came about the year before I got baptised (1986) I got baptised as a symbol to this, I just did not understand at the time. How clever they are!
I would love to see Quotes put this section up on his website. In fact, I think all JWs should present this list of questions to everyone they ever place a mag with! After looking at that list, I do not understand how they continue to acquire converts! (Except for those poor kids brainwashed since birth)
1. What is the Christian standard for marriage?
Must make sure that you lie about all the heavy petting,,,uh oral sex you had.
2. What is the only Scriptural basis for divorce that frees one to remarry?
Must do it on the KH counter.
3. What does the Bible say about married people separating from each other?
Do it with someone on the counter , hurry so that you can get a divorce.
4. Why should those living together as husband and wife be properly married?
To ruin it of course. So that they too can do it on the KH counter and get a divorce.
5. If you are married, are you sure that your marriage has been properly registered with the civil authorities?
(Doesn't 6 months and an accknowledgement of calling each other spouse make it legal?)
6. Why should we show respect for the gift of life?
(Give back to the community.....actually have children and make families)
7. How does Jehovah view (a) the unlawful shedding of human blood? (b) abortion? (c) suicide?
Do as I say not as I do.
8. What responsibility rests upon a person who is infected with a communicable disease that is potentially fatal?
According to this...they are responsible to tell the whole world and be gracious that they are shunned and not invited to homes.
9. To avoid transmitting an infectious or a potentially fatal disease to others, why should an infected person (a) not initiate public displays of affection, such as hugging and kissing? (b) attend the Congregation Book Study at the Kingdom Hall if at all possible? (c) not react negatively when some choose not to invite him into their homes? (d) Why should a person who may have been exposed to an infectious disease voluntarily choose to have a blood test before beginning a courtship? (e) Why should one having a communicable disease inform the presiding overseer before getting baptized?
see above
10. Why should Christians abstain from blood, and what does it mean to do so?
Only take half of the blood. The good parts....LMAO
11. Are Christians under the Mosaic Law and its requirements regarding sacrifices and the Sabbath?
Yes you must sacrafice your whole family. If Jesus did away with the law, and they are just principals....why are all these people disfellowshipped like the WTS rewrote the bible rules and outdid Jesus's work.
12. What Christian quality should outstandingly characterize our relationship with our spiritual brothers and sisters?
Dishonesty
13. How should Christians view the shortcomings of fellow believers?
As an opportunity to be better than thou to the maximum available potential!
14. If your brother's sin against you is of a serious nature, what should you do?
Screw his wife on the counter.
15. What is the fruitage of the spirit, and how will cultivating it help us to maintain a fine relationship with others?
Mango... Works great for body parts....smeared slathered and licked... great way to make friends
16. Why must lying be avoided?
"Retract number 16.. Typo...Lie if you want to live"
17. What is the Christian view of stealing?
Steal his wife...do her on the counter!
18. Does the Bible prohibit the use of alcoholic beverages in moderation?
No in fact, if you are in the In crowd in the org... you can drink all you want and blame it on that one geeky kid...Fall guy!
19. What is the Christian view of overdrinking and drunkenness?
Make sure you do it on the counter if you are drunk.
20. Why should Christians abstain from all nonmedi-cal use of addictive or mind-altering natural or synthetic substances?
It might make you fall off the counter.
21. What does the Bible say about fornication, which includes adultery, sexual relations with another person of the same sex, and other ungodly sexual conduct?
Yeah...yeah... you know.... Make sure it is on the counter!!!!!!!!
22. By adhering to what Bible counsel will you be able to resist temptations and pressures that could induce you to engage in sexual immorality?
What is the scripture that says horses in heat have strong testicals? Well kind of groswses you out a bit. Horses cannot get up on the counter.
23. Why must a Christian avoid becoming involved in any form of gambling?
Because they may waste the contributions that were stolen from the box in the back of the hall......
24. If a person commits a serious sin out of weakness but wants help to be restored to Jehovah's favor, what action should he take immediately?
Grovel....Grovel.........Grovel................and make sure there is a willing elder in front of you when you do this..
25. In addition to confessing his own sins, each Christian has what responsibility regarding: serious wrongdoing by others that could threaten the moral cleanness of the congregation?
Make sure you lie on your brother and become a rat fink.
26. What is the proper viewpoint to have if one is Scripturally reproved?
Be happy about it that someone is in your business and eat the crap up....
27. What action does the congregation take when a person in its midst proves to be an unrepentant violator of God's commandments?
they all talk to him at JWD!!
28. What is idolatry? What are some forms of idolatry that Christians must guard against today?
Looking up to someone and modeling your life after such person...They have to make sure and take gaurd that they only model the elder who way deep in the garbage of JW.
29. What is the Christian's position as to the world alienated from God?
Do you think aliens do it on the counters?
30. What was Jesus' attitude toward participation in the political affairs of the world?
affairs?
31. When a person separates himself from the world and becomes a Christian, what treatment should he expect from those in the world?
Damn good sex!
32. How does being separate from the world affect a Christian in his choice of secular employment?
"Make you separate the refuse from the recycleables..." LMAO
33. What Bible principles should a Christian apply regarding his choice of entertainment and recreation?
ONLY see R-rated if you are at home. so that nobody knows!
34. Would it be proper for true Christians to share in worship with other religious groups?
No because they might want to do it on our counter...
35. What is the only religious ceremony that Christians are commanded to observe?
......................ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Do it on the COUNTER
36. How can you determine whether you should observe or participate in celebrations that are popular in your community?
check to see if you are to sore from doing it on the counter.............
37. What birthday celebrations are mentioned in the Bible? How does this affect your view of birthday celebrations?
Make sure you do all of the above on your birthday till there are marks on your buttocks and knees from DOING IT ON THE COUNTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9. To avoid transmitting an infectious or a potentially fatal disease to others, why should an infected person (a) not initiate public displays of affection, such as hugging and kissing? (b) attend the Congregation Book Study at the Kingdom Hall if at all possible? (c) not react negatively when some choose not to invite him into their homes? (d) Why should a person who may have been exposed to an infectious disease voluntarily choose to have a blood test before beginning a courtship? (e) Why should one having a communicable disease inform the presiding overseer before getting baptized?
1. In God's arrangement of things, who is the head of the married woman?
t
7. How does Jehovah view (a) the unlawful shedding of human blood? (b) abortion? (c) suicide?
Have they changed their stance on suicide? Last I heard a person was viewed as having a mental disorder and therefore not condemned. Are they now condemning people who commit suicide?
8. What responsibility rests upon a person who is infected with a communicable disease that is potentially fatal?
8b. What responsibility rests upon a person who is a child molester?
A: NOTHING, and anyone who tells anyone about them will be Disfellowshiped and shunned by their friends and family.
9. To avoid transmitting an infectious or a potentially fatal disease to others, why should an infected person (a) not initiate public displays of affection, such as hugging and kissing? (b) attend the Congregation Book Study at the Kingdom Hall if at all possible? (c) not react negatively when some choose not to invite him into their homes? (d) Why should a person who may have been exposed to an infectious disease voluntarily choose to have a blood test before beginning a courtship? (e) Why should one having a communicable disease inform the presiding overseer before getting baptized?
9b. To avoid molesting others' children, why should an child molester (a) not tell anyone that they initiate private displays of affection, such as hugging and kissing with children? (b) attend the Congregation Book Study at the Kingdom Hall with as many children as possible? (c) react negatively and complain to the elders when some choose not to invite him into their homes? (d) Why should a person who may have been molested voluntarily choose to not tell the civil authorities? (e) Why should one who is a child molester NOT inform the presiding overseer before getting baptized?
A: So that reproach will not be brought upon Jehover's name.
ezekiel3- On the serious side. It is the person infecteds business and privacy by law. Yes man's law, but...It is still none of the DAMN PO's business if my nephew or niece have a disease. Does this mean if I have a yeast infection I had better not kiss my kids? Or your kids..OH, and must I run and tell the PO? Yes Yeast infections can get very serious.. and are as contagious as HIV. ...when you kiss someone.. OR HUG SOMEONE!!
That means they are not comunicated through huggs and kisses. Why not disfellowship the poor babies. So that they skip all the publicly shunning? When they come into the hall... Give them a Yellow STAR and send them right on out.... Hypocrites!
Cant......stop......puking.......*wretch*....*barf*....*bleack*....
*regains composure*
Just reading through the cold and callous approach to faith that these idiot lawyers have makes me ill. I see no mention of love, mercy or forgiveness. I see something that looks like an exam to pass the bar somewhere, and it is so sad that people buy this. It is no wonder that people with this type of unloving brainwashing from the start can cut off their own families when they go against the borg; nothing personal, just business.
GRRRRR
OH and even better yet... How about we tell the PO and then he tells his wife and then you cant do anything at the ladies social..... You know all of this is private...of course. Maybe there should be a list at the back where people sign what they have that week on a list. And or...piss on a stick at the door. That way only the ones who are completely sexually disfuntional get in. Oh and if you are a molester...well you don't have to take any test..
Sound like a plan?.
Did Jesus answer all those questions before he was baptized??????
