i dont have the time to go into a long post dan....
my thought is.....walk away and don't look back.
good luck.
How do I know when it's love....
by DanTheMan 40 Replies latest jw friends
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PopeOfEruke
WWJD?
Pope
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Xena
WWJD?
Pope
bang a prostitute on the sly????
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JustTickledPink
She sounds like she needs a therapist, not a husband.
I hate to sounds so simplistic, but my mantra is "YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU KNOW" You absolutely know you're in love with the right person when it happens. You no longer have those nagging doubts, questions, and lingering what if's?... You truly know inside your head, heart, and soul that you want to be with this person. BUT it also feels good. It's healthy, you enjoy spending time together, you become best friends.
Nothing about being in love includes one person who may or may not be suicidal, it also shouldn't include someone who is toxic and crying every day. Love isn't supposed to be a soap opera mess, it's supposed to be healthy, beneficial to your emotional well being, and cause you to experience joy and happiness.
I'm sorry to say, walk away from this one while you still can. I hope someone comes along that fits you.
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diamondblue1974
The fact that she is manipulative enough to suggest that she is going to start looking around (in the hope that you will react) and has been pushing the big M question after only 5 months I would run like hell.
I would agree that she is immature emotionally and needs to get a grip; the fact she has preset ideas about how you should behave indicates an element of control not normally associated with love; love above everything is about acceptance, trust, and understanding; these things she seems to lack.
Your feelings about her are transparent also in that you are not sure, like someone else said on this post and please pardon the cliche, 'you will know when you know'
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Brummie
You want a guys opinion? Sell her on ebay.
Just kiddin Dan. In my experience I had similar feelings as yours towards an ex girlfriend, I didnt know If I loved her or not and kind of enjoyed the times when we were not together! I look back and see that there was obviously no love there.
When I met the person who became my wife, my 1st thought was "There is my wife to be", darn presumtious huh! But it was true. I wanted to be with her 24-7. Infact for the 1st few years we never spent a day apart. It was never inconvenient for her to be around, we married within 3 months. This marriage lasted 10 yrs and even now I like to see her and know she is alright.
My 1st feelings were of passion/lust and the need to "unite" with her, lol, these feelings led to love. Now when it became love, it wasnt a gushy feeling but rather "an act of will", In other words, even if she ever did me wrong I would still love her regardless. Its a bit like loving my sons, whatever they do in life I am going to be there for them, not with a gushy feeling but with love that will act in in their best interests. Its kind of a bond that cannot be broken, I'd give my life for them even if they were punching me in the face. Do you know that kind of feeling? If you do, then to me, "that" is what love is.
Brummie
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Mulan
I tend to agree with everyone, and think the old saying "if in doubt, don't" applies here.
On the other hand, don't burn your bridges either. Keep her as a friend, if that's possible and see what happens. She may need a little more time to recover from her issues and after some time goes by, she might be just what you want.
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prophesariah
Hey Dan,
There are far too many warning signs or red flags being thrown up in your relationship as already stated by others on this thread. You definitely do not need to be thinking about marriage. Be sure to let her know your true feelings so as not to lead her on. If it is possible for you to remain friends and the both of you want that, be mindful that continuing to be intimate (if that has been a part of your involvement with her) can only complicate things.
You would probably be better off just letting go and looking in some other direction. Pursue your own personal interests and when you are not looking someone may come across your way that you have something in common with on a variety of levels. Be friends first.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing. Look for a Proverbs 31 woman with a dash of some of your own personal preferences. Do not be unequally yoked. You may need someone who understands your JW experience and shares your current stance with regard to God. Really examine what you want in a wife and the type of marriage you would like to have.
Are you looking to get married at this time in your life in the first place? If so, whoever it is you decide to be with you both need to be on the same page on many issues from finances to how many children you want. That takes time spent communicating and comprimising. Atleast a year or two is time well spent to see what someone is really like once you feel you truly love someone.
If you are not interested in marriage, just don't think about it enjoy your life without such complications.
Love/Peace/Respect
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whyamihere
Hi Dan,
How do you know....Well? I think you know when you don't have to ask that question.
Brooke
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DanTheMan
Hey, thanks again everybody for your comments, they are very much appreciated.
We still haven't talked, trouble is is that she had my car prior to Saturday and she did some shopping while she had it and left some items in the backseat, damn, I don't know what to do about that.
In many ways I really do adore this lady, she is one of the sweetest people I've ever met. And we are both about as sensitive as people can be, so we relate to each other in how we react to the world. And just to be fair, I am hardly the picture of perfect mental health. We'll see what develops, I just wish she had more confidence and wasn't so pushy, and depressive, and overbearing...