One of the ‘last straws’ for me was the funeral for the disfellowshipped son of a long time member of our congregation. I was the P.O. of the congregation at the time. This elderly sister (who had many times picked me up and brought me to the meetings when I was a boy) had, within a matter of months lost a daughter and a son-in-law. Now oldest son was dying of heart disease and was not expected to last more than a few days when she got a phone call and was told that her youngest son had just been killed in a freak auto accident. She asked me to do the funeral and I agreed. (Side note: Just a few months prior to this the disfellowshipped stepson of the P.O. of a nearby congregation died of a drug overdose and the P.O. did his funeral). When one of the elders heard about my doing the funeral he went ballistic. He called me on the phone insisting that I not do the funeral. I called the C.O. to explain the situation to him but the bottom line was that I was not to do the funeral. I told the family that the C.O. would not allow it and they accepted this and went out and found a minister from one of the local churches ( a woman) to do the funeral. I went to the funeral although many of the self-righteous members of our congregation did not. People from all over (mostly witnesses) were coming up to me and asking me why I, as the P.O. of the congregation and a long time friend of the family, was not doing the funeral. I merely replied that the society would not permit it. You should have seen the look on their faces.
All in all it was a black eye to the congregation. I live in a small community and everyone knows everyone and they just could not understand why the woman’s minister was not doing her son’s funeral. There were many witnesses there from other congregations as well as ours and it struck me humorous that all those witnesses there were being subjected to a sermon from a member of ‘Babylon the Great’ by a policy of the Society. They were very uneasy to say the least and I enjoyed watching them squirm in their seats. After the services I went to the woman and thanked her for her kindness. This further confused and agitated the witnesses that saw me do this.
After the funeral my wife and I went to this sister’s house to bring food to the family and to stay and give whatever comfort we could. Finally one of her grandaughters who is a nurse, gave her a mild sedative so she could rest. She had not sooner gotten into her bedroom when the phone rang. Her oldest son had just died. She looked me sobbing and said: “How much can one person take?”
This son was a member in good standing so I was allowed to do the funeral. More confusion. Why was I doing this funeral and did not do the other? I thought that for people who are now so concerned with their public image, that this was a very stupid stunt for the Society to pull. I continued to serve for only a few more weeks after that. I moved away for a while and stayed gone long enough to be deleted as an elder and although I eventually moved back, I only attend meetings very rarely and do not go out in service at all. No one has ever come to me and asked me why a person who has served in the organization as long as I have is no longer active. I was the P.O. of the congregation and had circuit and district responsibilities as well. No one seems to be interested in why I’m not anymore.