I NEED HELP

by Shawn 70 Replies latest jw experiences

  • bebu
    bebu

    Shawn, did you read the link I gave you to 'talking with witnesses' from freemind.org? Read this thoroughly to "catch" the mindset you will need. That's really a foundation to anything else you decide to say or do, imo. And you have a lot of choices, so it's a good idea to spend time considering them.

    If you come across as anxious and hysterical, as opposed to relaxed, open, and sincerely questioning, you can find the door shut quickly. Too much too fast can mean "too bad".

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/83298/1367944/post.ashx#1367944

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/83298/1368769/post.ashx#1368769

    Here are some comments I made to another poster a while back who was in sort of a similar situation. Maybe you'll get some ideas, and see your situation a little more clearly.

    Feel free to pm me if you wish!

    bebu

  • Shawn
    Shawn

    Here is the letter in it's interity: "I am writing this to you because I share your love for someone special in our lives. Please read this with an open heart and mind. Imagine this: A drunk driver speeding down Arden Rd late one Tuesday night runs a red light and hits a car. The front driver?s side of the car is destroyed by the impact and inside the driver is severely hurt. People see it happen and run to help the people. Inside the victims car is a body bleeding from multiple cuts and gashes. ?Someone call 911!!? As the ambulance pulls up an EMT jumps out and rushes to help the victim. ?We need blood!? He yells. The victim, bleeding to death is able to say ?No Blood? before passing out and the EMT is helpless. He has to let this person die, he knows that he can do his job and save her life but she has said the words he has dreaded hearing his entire career. He holds her hand as she slowly bleeds. Tears come down his face as he thinks of the family she left behind and the moments she will miss. This was not her fault. She was just driving her car down a street. Finally he checks her wrist and feels no pulse. She is dead! That is a hypothetical situation. It is factual in so far as it happens every day but I made this one up. Here is one that is true: A couple are having a baby. They are at the hospital and the mother has just given birth to a beautiful child. The doctor quickly rushes the baby out of the room. The new dad is consulted. ?You baby has a massive Hernia and need to replace blood before it dies? The dad thinks for a second and knows what he must do. ?No Blood!?. The doctor walks away and there is nothing he can do. Another child is dieing and there is nothing he can do. What do you think that doctor was thinking? What do you think that EMT was thinking? What are you thinking? These next stories while not quoted incidents they are paraphrased accounts of events that have taken place or very likely could have taken place just never publicized. The point is the same regardless. A child suffers from a disease that modern medicine has provided an immunization for, that child dies because it is against it?s parents? religion to immunize their children. A missionary contracts a disease in a third world country and suffers for weeks before medication begins to work. All that was needed was a shot before entering the country that would have prevented that suffering. A young child needs a liver transplant due to a defective organ. Due to a form of alleged ?cannibalism? the child cannot get a new liver and suffers needlessly for days before finally dieing. Another pair of parents lose what future they might have known. An older man needing a kidney transplant faces the same situation. He wont die, but the quality of life he lives will increase greatly. He cannot get a new organ because his Elders instruct him he cannot. His wife sinks into a depression. In these four cases, the Governing Body of Elders later decided they were wrong and changed the rules. They decided that God doesn?t forsake those people who get immunizations or transplants after all. Ask your self why that is? Why would this decision take place? For 13 years organ transplants were considered a form of cannibalism and immunizations were banned for 20 years. Both times the number of Jehovah?s Witnesses (from here on out called JWs for sake of space) declined until the law was changed. I am not going to talk about doctrine here. Not in the sense of quoting scripture. All I ask is that you are a supportive friend and that you truly are looking out for their best interest. Do what is right by them and even if that path is a hard one to follow does not make it wrong. More likely it is right. Another thing to consider is this: The number of public ally know cases of child molestation within the JWs Kingdom Halls in California are currently six. More likely than not there are many more pending and even more cases that are not being prosecuted. The reason for that is simple. From there own Governing Body JWs are instructed that it must remain within the Hall and not spoken of to ANYONE who is not an Elder and even then only to the Elders already aware. They are threatened with ?Disfellowshipping? if they are known to be speaking of it. Their law states that 2 witnesses must be present at the time of the incident in order for it be take seriously. If there are not 2 witnesses than they child is not telling the truth. If the person is found to guilty, they will retain there position if they repent and it will not be a factor if after2-3 years the incident is not repeated. This is most common with ?Elders? in the Hall. To summarize: Suzie is fondled by Brother A. Suzie tells her parents and they go to another Elder. The Elder asks if there were people present. Suzie is 4 years old is very afraid but says no, there wasn?t. The Elder shakes his head, there is nothing he can do about it. Not even 1 witness much less 2. He advises the parent that they must not discourage the rest of the flock by speaking of this and they understand what he means. Brother A is never approached and if he is it is to be told to watch out for Suzie?s family, they are having problems. He stays in a position of authority and now Suzie is labeled ?victim? by all victimizers and suffers her whole life because now she is afraid to say anything next time Brother A touches her. This is another story based of fact. There are countless people with a similar story out there. There is a Law Firm in Texas dealing with just these cases. Across the country and probably the world children suffer and it is condoned by this religion. These are men that believe Christ returned invisibly in 1914 and is directing them to this day. They preach they are God?s voice on Earth and must be obeyed as such. They are the Mother and God is the Father. They are a religion that says they forsake this worldly life but own 951 million dollars in land in New England. JWs are not allowed to research there own history outside the Watchtower nor are they allowed to read book critical of the religion. Why is that? Can that be right? They are discourage from reading original materials they themselves put out dated before 1991. Their Bible was translated by 5 men who had NO knowledge of Hebrew, Aramaic or Greek, as testified in a court of law. They inserted the word Jehovah 237 times into the New Testament when it does not appear even once in ANY Greek manuscript. Jehovah is a man-made word. Not divine in any way. There is proof to explain it and if you want it I will provide it. I have much more to say but I feel that I may have said to much as it is. Please understand, I love Jehovah?s Witnesses. I truly do, they are doing the right thing by their hearts and want the favor of God. That is to be commended and what we all should want. I pray for them and hope that they are able to see what it is they are believing in. I pray for the souls of the men that control the Watchtower. They have a power and are hurting people every day. I also am doing this because I fear for one I love. I don?t want her to feel shame any more or feel that her ?worldly? friends and family are instruments of the devil and that she will never see them after this life. I want her to know that she has people that truly love her outside of the Watchtower and we want her to be at peace. I ask you all to pray for her. If you don?t pray than please just take a minute to reflect on her situation and think what can I do. I ask that you do nothing right now but be there for her. Right now she feels that Meeting is the only time she feels truly happy and that is a shame. What does that imply? Please, even if you do not want this email and want nothing to do with me ever again, please don?t tell her about it. I am going to approach her with my feeling when I am ready and I will be ready to accept the consequences of my actions then. If you are interested in learning more please email me back and/or check out the following links. www.freeminds.org www.silentlambs.org www.ajwrb.org I know that there are special issues concerning the person we share a love for. I know it is not that simple but this is a big part of all of that. Doesn?t she deserve the right to know what she believes and what if the week after she needs blood they decide it is now okay to get blood. How are we all going to feel then? It has happened before, many times in many ways. By the way, most don?t know it but the Governing Body has decided to allow hemoglobin (red cells without the membrane) - the largest of all blood components to be given. I guess we just better hope that it is on the ambulance and she has time to say Hemoglobin only. Thank you for reading this truly, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

  • bebu
    bebu

    Can you edit that to put it into paragraphs?

    bebu

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    Shawn, dont send it just yet! JWs have very little empathy to sympathise with the cases you have mentioned. Your mention of anti JW websites will also bring a chasm between you and your friend. Take time learn more, be patient.

    The point you make on Organ transplants is very good, you need to make these points without making any negative reference to the Governing body...

    Unfortunately I cant spend time disecting the letter, but there are a lot of good points in it.

    Brummie

  • NewLight2
    NewLight2

    Shawn,

    If your JW friend has access to the internet, do not worry about her finding a support group. JWD could function as a support group for your friend when that time arrives. Be patient. This is a long, long process! It will not take place over-night! You need to understand HOW your friend thinks as a JW before you can help her.

    Ask her to explain to you why she had NOT been going to meetings and what lead her to stop attending. Gently lead her by asking questions about how she feels about the lack of love that some JW's show. The more she opens up to you, the more probing questions you can ask her. Get her to THINK for herself rather than just blindly drifting along with the current. Getting her to talk to you about all of the negatives that she has observed that happen in her congregation. Do not TELL her what these negatives are, SHE must be the one that brings them up.

    Since she has already told you that she was 'unhappy', that may be a starting place. But if she is not ready to confide in you, do not push the issue. She must do this in her own time. Again learn to listen to her.

    It is OK for you to learn about the JW's as fast as you are able to absorb the information, but you MUST go SLOW in trying to educate her.

    At this point, I would not bring her non-JW family into the process. Your JW friend does not need her family 'ganging up on her' right now. And that could happen if you begin to share too much of what you are learning with her family.

    The only time that an 'emergency' should be called is if your friend was about to die because she was refusing a blood transfusion. And I do not see anywhere that you have stated that that was the case. So SLOW down, my friend, and be content to just learn yourself.

    NewLight2

  • Shawn
    Shawn

    Sorry, I was unable to put it in paragraphes when I posted it. The original was dictated perfectly, LOL. Brummie, the letter is for her family and friend not her, just to clarify. While JWD would be a nice thing to show her some people are crass and I think she would consider family and friends before "apostates" I may be wrong. I am a student here and you are my teachers. Please continue to help. I have not sent it yet. I am waiting for a lot more feed back. NewLight2, I understand I need to read more, believe me I will. I am trying to slow down but I cannot express this enough, she is drifting further away from "the worldly".

  • bebu
    bebu

    Whoa, Nelly! A long letter like that is very likely going to make her defensive, and perhaps she will shut you out. You might win a battle, but lose the war. You want to win the war. Please realize that our advice is not for you to "forget about helping her, cuz it's impossible". It is, rather, a different tactic for helping than your gut reaction would be. And this requires a lot of learning, patience, listening, etc.

    Don't worry... you'll have PLENTY of opportunities to talk with this friend. If she perceives you as interested (curious about JWs), she'll feel obliged to initiate discussions with you. You can sow a lot of seeds over time. Be PATIENT.

    bebu

  • NewLight2
    NewLight2

    bebu,

    That letter was written by Shawn to send to his JW friend's NON-JW family. It was not written to send to her. He wants to educate her non-JW family and friends about what he is learning. But nontheless,
    I agree with you, that the letter should not be sent.

    NewLight2

  • NewLight2
    NewLight2

    Shawn,
    To format paragraphs just check the small box that says"
    "Automatic Cr/Lf"

    It is located at the bottom of the 'reply box' just above the 'submit post' box.

    NewLight2

  • Shawn
    Shawn

    Thanks NewLight2. If not this letter than what can I do. I don't want to be the only one she knows that she can go to. I wish I were that person but she needs more, she deserves more. Maybe "this" letter shouldn't be sent. Should it be changed?

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