by Shawn 70 Replies latest jw experiences
What do you mean, "That she can go to"? ?? She's not in a crisis right now, so she's not looking for anyplace to escape to.
bebu
Edited to add: you are, perhaps, the only person in her circle who is aware of the WTS being a fraud. But she will not go to you in order to hear that!
Shawn,
My saying that JWD would act as a support group for your friend was not to mean that she should be reading JWD now. That is for much later in time, when she has decided ON HER OWN to question some of the WT teachings.
Likewise, if her family 'gangs up on her' using the contents of your letter, she will only dive head first into the cult so fast you won't even be able to see the 'streak' of dust that was left behind!
Again, my advise to you is to leave her non-JW family out of your 'crusade' right now. They will only apply pressure to your friend and SHE will NOT think of that as 'support'.
NewLight2
I understand what you are saying but it is hard. I want this all to happen tomorrow but it wont. I need to slow down. I just want to have a plan and have people who can support her when she needs it no matter what.
If you have as much faith in G-d as you say, then perhaps you need to be patient and not try so hard to solve this that you fail to give her and G-d a chance to work it out. Where is your faith that our Lord, Almighty can handle this problem him/herself?
She only JUST said she got excited about going to the Memorial and getting more active. If I read your original post correctly she is not yet a baptised witness. If this is true, than perhaps allowing her to share her excitement is the best way to maintain her trust and keep communications open. As she raises points, maybe you can suggest questions that help her figure out her own answers that conflict. You might also be able to help her find other things in her life that can help her truly feel happy.
But I'm with the other posters here who suggest that trying to force feed her another religion will only leave her in the dubs and you with no more friend. You need to keep YOUR need to get her away from what may be a dangerous group separate from what you "perceive" to be the answer to true happiness she should accept.
As a non-christian, I am actually personally offended by the pompous attitude that your version of how to have relationship with G-D is the only or best, or even a good way to establish that force in one's life. I also see your need to convert "share the good word" as a personal need for self-validation that you are actually correct.
Lighten up, slow down and be a non-judgemental and unconditionally accepting friend. Otherwise you present just as great a danger to her happiness as the Jehovah's Witness group.
"I understand what you are saying but it is hard. I want this all to happen tomorrow but it wont. I need to slow down. I just want to have a plan and have people who can support her when she needs it no
matter what." -- Shawn
Like I said, JWD will be here for her when SHE needs it, but it is going to take her a long, long time to come to this point. Since she is ALREADY a JW, just going to meetings is not going to cause her to be any MORE of a JW, than she is already. Just consentrate on being her friend for now. Be interested in what she is learning at the KH, but dont try to tell her it is wrong.
Can you tell us a little more about your JW friend?
Is she baptized?
How long has she been a JW?
What is the reason that she drifted from the JW's?
Was she Marked? Disfellowshiped?
The above answers may help us to give you future guidence.
NewLight2
Here is a break down of her situation:
1. She is 21 years old
2. She was introduced in her early teens by her aunt and uncle who are still JWs
3. She later met a boy and he was a JW, due to an unstable home situation she grabbed on to his family and was introduced to JWs.
4.She was baptized 3 years ago.
5.She is no longer with the JW but is still his friend and they share many friends
6. She is not disfellowshipped and still in good standing with the KH as far as I know
7. She doesn't talk to me about being a JW, I believe out of respect for my beliefs and because she is unsure of her own
8. We have debated doctrine in the past but ended it with smiles and her saying that she needs to be a better JW before she can talk about beliefs
9. She has attended "worldy" events and has "wordly" friends
10. Her family condones her belief but knows nothing about it y her mother's own admission
11. She has told me many times that she loves the unity she gets from being a JW
If there are more questions please ask. She knows that I love her and that no matter what I am there for her. I tell her that every day. I might seem overbearing in this but I don't show that to her. I am trying to kep as much of this a secret as possible.
Thanks for answering the questions. Shawn. This background info helps a lot.
NewLight2
You can find some of the experiences people have posted here:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/32/76992/1.ashx
I'm also in the middle of posting my story:
Nos, I read what you have said so far. I am amazed that you are not coming across more angry in your story. It is tragic what you went through. I am sure your story will help others deal with their past. At least you are strong enough after all that to think for yourself.
Tried asking under a different topic but didn't get an answer, thought I'd get a better response here.
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/2919/reasons.html
I am curious to see if these are still current beliefs and if so what is the punishment for them. Such as tattoos and joining sports teams. Also if anyone knows, why?
Thank you all for your information and support so far. An update to my situation. My friend went to meeting today and then hung out with all her JW friends today. A few weeks ago they all shunned her for associating with "worldy" people but I guess they got over it (sarcasm all over that last part). She turned her phone off and I just left her a couple of messages telling her that I loved her unconditionaly and that I hoped she was okay. She finally just called me, as she was leaving a JWs house. We said goodnight and with everyones prayers with her I know she will sleep well. She has been sleeping really poorly the last month or so. I am going to read the Bible and CoC tonight then pray that the Spirit guides her. Sorry to all you non-Christians but I am only being honest.
