I was snubbed by a 'dub

Dawn

In the last month I left my job of 15 years for a new company (better benefits, room for advancement, yadda yadda). I'm pretty excited about this new job - and it's a very large company. There are over 4,000 employees in just this one branch division that I work in. So - imagine my suprise - to run into a JW that I knew from years ago. Just my luck....

I walk through the front door of a building on the way to a meeting and run face to face with an old JW "friend" I had years ago - one I have not seen for at least 15 years. She is a janitor for this building. So I smile and say "good morning - nice to see you. How have you been" - and she mumbles something I can't hear. So I lean in closer and say "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you" - then she says, almost inaudibly soft "I can't association with you". I replied "I'm not attempting to association with you - I'm simply being polite because this is a work environment and we are required to perform on a professional level" then I smiled and said, as I walked away, "Have a great day!"

Needless to say - my coworkers thought it was hillarious and have had great fun at commenting about what a freak she is. I also got some 'cudos for being so professional and handling the situation the way I did.

After some thought and reflecting on this - I asked myself a couple of questions (1) Am I offended? Yes!! - she was rude. I am offended when someone is rude to me for whatever reason. (2) Do I care? Yes - she was rude and I don't deserve it - so, being human, that kind of pi&&es me off! (3) Do I care what she thinks of me? Honestly - No - I don't care at all.

Then I thought - isn't it strange how life changes us. There was a time when I thought the WORST thing that could ever happen to me would be DF'ing. I never wanted people to think of me as a loser like we did those DF'd people. What my JW friends thought of me was soooo important!

Now - years later.....I think the worst thing that could happen is for me to return to such a controlling existence - to not be true to myself. That I could not even smile and be civil in a work environment. What is most important to me now? Being who I am - being honest to myself and proud to be me! It's nice to have others think good of you - but how you think of yourself is really the key.

One of my coworkers nailed it in a funny way - his comment about her actions............."Yea - I'm sure that's what Jesus would have done"

Whew - it's so nice to vent to people who understand. Thanks ya'll!!

Eyebrow2

too bad she didn't realize that this was a business setting and she is allowed to be civil even according to the nazi JW thinking...oh well.

Good for you, for taking the high road....and congrats on your new job!

candidlynuts

oh well... you shouldnt lower yourself to speak to janitors anyway.. (said tongue in cheek)

phil78

."Yea - I'm sure that's what Jesus would have done"

Got it in one! They think they are working in harmony with Jesus principles. Dumb-ass's. They are the one's with the problem. Mind control and repitition are wonderful tools.

It has no hold over us. We are Free. We are Happy. Shun us, and it just makes our life that much quieter.

Phil.

Bas

congratulations on your new job Dawn, hope it works out for ya, you'll get used to the rude janitor though it isn't nice. Good luck!

b

Quotes

Congrats on the new job.

Sounds like you have moved on with your life to a much better place!

As for the janitor, good work. Perhaps somewhere this Dub will related their "experience" in a meeting and the Elder will say "What a FINE WITNESS(tm) you (the Janitor) provided, showing your resolve to not associate with opposers and apostates"

I, on the other hand, would like to say, "Dawn, what a FINE ANTI-WITNESS you provided, demonstrating both your level of professionalism and humanity, while revealing the high-control of Watchtowerism for all your coworkers to see. WELL DONE!".

~Quotes, of the "Kingdom Cleaning Servcies" class

Oroborus21

Greetings:

I am not defending the practice of shunning because I think it is misguided, however, just because you didn't get your "social strokes" doesn't mean that the lady was "rude."

I understand that it is a social custom and that there is a ritual that we encourage of social stroking: "hi" = "hi" and "hi, how are you?" = "Fine, doing well thanks?" etc. etc.

But simply because one chooses to break the normal ritual this does not make them rude. They have that freedom, we all do.

The fact is that you knew why she wasn't following the ritual and you pressed her on it, making her feel uncomfortable. If any one was rude in this situation it was you.

-Eduardo

PS: as for the "work obligation" this is not accurate. First, it may be customary but it isn't a work obligation anywhere that I have ever worked to say a greeting to a co-worker or to respond to one. The direction from the Society has been that if work REQUIRES SERVING someone who is disfellowshipped, a JW in that position may CHOOSE to do so and shouldn't feel guilty about it.

GetBusyLiving

:The fact is that you knew why she wasn't following the ritual and you pressed her on it, making her feel uncomfortable. If any one was rude in this situation it was you.

Thats bullshit Eduardo. Yes the janitor has a right to not say hello but it still is in fact VERY RUDE. Having some self respect and not slinking off by exposing her rudeness doesn't hurt the dub and might even make her think. If she chooses to ignore the hello and explanation of how its okay to say hello in a work environment then that's her perogative.

GBL

tijkmo

i used to tell jws that i was df.......and they apologised to me.............helllllooooo

jaffacake

Interesting,

Quite often, staff for whom I am responsible fall out with each other, and don't speak. They often say stuff like "my employer can't require me to talk to people I don't like, so long as I do my job..."

Where I work, such views are considered unacceptable, we can and do require people to show common courtesy, respect for each other. I usually quote chapter & verse from our performance standards, competency framework etc. They are requested to comply, but if they don't we require it...

I had to issue a formal warning recently over this sort of issue. I work for the British Government.

I was snubbed by a 'dub

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