Greetings!
Of course, I knew it. Many here would pounce on me because of their own emotional attachment to this issue. But try for once to look at this situation objectively.
rude
adj 1: socially incorrect in behavior; "resentment flared at such
an unmannered intrusion" [syn: ill-mannered, unmannered,
unmannerly]
2: (of persons) lacking in refinement or grace [syn: ill-bred,
bounderish, lowbred, underbred, yokelish]
3: lacking civility or good manners; "want nothing from you but
to get away from your uncivil tongue"- Willa Cather [syn:
uncivil] [ant: civil]
Ok. By the definition #1, the janitor's conduct was "rude" in that her conduct/behaviour did not conform to normal (non-JW) social convention but does not meet this definition if it is judged according to the social custom of Jehovah's Witnesses. So whether it was RUDE by definition #1 depends on which society you are viewing it from. No-doubt since the co-workers were non-Jehovah's Witnesses they would agree with this view. However, if a group of Jehovah's Witnesses had been standing nearby observing they might consider that the "accepted socially correct" behaviour would be for the one who is disfellowshipped (or whatever Dawn is) to NOT say a greeting to one they know to be a JW in order not to place that person in an awkward position. Thus by their view what Dawn did would be rude and what the janitor did would not be rude.
Additionally, I want to add that we teach our children (and others) these social rituals, whatever they are according to our custom. In some cultures, perhaps the older person should speak first to the younger. Or maybe a woman is expected to speak to a man before he has permission to speak to her. Whatever, these social customs and ritual vary from culture to culture. What we call "rude" is when one breaks with these customs. And labeling something as RUDE is only our weak way of trying to reinforce those social rituals and customs instead of rationally trying to provide an explanation as to WHY such social convention exists in the first place. (e.g. saying "Bless you" after someone sneezes is considered "appropriate" (i.e "polite") and to not say it is considered "Rude" but there is no rational reason to say it yet we don't want to admit that there is no rational reason, it is just "being polite" and that is the best we can do. Larry David makes a (greater) living by exploiting and exposing such nonsense in our society.)
All I will say is that I personally enjoy being spontaneous and not being a slave to social conventions. If you call me on the telephone I might answer "bananas" instead of "hello." That's just fun. (Ok so that is not what is going on here, I just wanted to say that.)
What IS going on in this situation is that this situation is NOT one that is normal according to most cultures where an exchange of "Hello - Hello" or "Good Morning - Good Morning" is what is expected and socially acceptable.
Dawn knows that the janitor is a JW. She said so. She also knows that the JW is not to according to the misguided (false) teaching of the Society to even "say a greeting to her" (unless absolutely required to - and even then the employee could opt not to at the risk of losing their job).
YET DESPITE THIS FOREKNOWLEDGE AND CONSIDERATION, she "tested" the situation by saying "Hello" to the JW janitor. (Inconsideration #1)
then EVEN THOUGH she did get a response when the JW "mumbled" something (we can only assume that it was either "hello" back or "I am not supposed to associate/talk to you" - we don't know), Dawn not being satisfied with a response, LEANED IN CLOSE TO HER and said "excuse me," or "what did you say?" or "sorry, I didn't understand you?", whatever she said. THUS placing the JW Janitor in an even more uncomfortable postion. (Inconsideration #2)
Now, I don't know what Dawn's position is in this company, nor do I know what the positions and social status is of the other friends of Dawn that were with her, but what is clear is that the JW lady is a janitor who is no doubt considered "lower" on the social status scale there at work. But considering this, is it also possible that the JW Janitor, on top of feeling uncomfortable due to her beliefs, is now meant to feel even more uncomfortable due to the DIFFERENCES IN SOCIAL STATUS. Think about it. I consider that alone to be both inconsideration number #3 and crossing over the line to actually BELITTLELING (sp?). I wonder if Dawn would have dared to lean over and say "excuse me" or "what did you mumble" if the JW had been the president of the company?
Then having received a CLEAR REPLY and EXPLANATION as to why the JW did not respond according to social custom (but note she did respond correctly according to her JW social custom), and despite Dawn fully understanding that FOR A JW merely saying "hello" is considered "association", Dawn feels (for some sick reason?) to press even further, loudly stating for everyone to here..."I am not trying to have association with you ("you little Janitor?") I am just "being Professional" (implying, I AM CORRECT HERE and YOU ARE INCORRECT) thus no doubt making the JW feel even worse. (Inconsideration #4)
(What is remarkable here is that Dawn really has no idea what is in her so-called "friend's" heart. Maybe the JW Janitor doesn't even support the disfellowshipping/shunning practice but complies with it for whatever reason. Perhaps the JW janitor feels guilty about having to ignore Dawn (her friend) and NOW on top of her own internal guilt and struggle or confusion, along comes Dawn who decides she is going to play a litle game and make (her friend?) feel even worse.)
So then after this little episode, Dawn has a nice little laugh about it with her friends, all of whom are much higher ups than janitors in the company. (Inconsideration #5)
And finally, Dawn has the brazen pride in he actions to come and boast upon JWD so that she can make this poor JW janitor look bad before the whole world. (Inconsideration #6)
Now according to definitions #2 and #3 WHO OF THE TWO, Dawn or the JW Janitor, were/are lacking in "grace" and lacking in "good manners." (And even by #1 as an ill-mannered "intrusion".)
The answer seems very obvious to me. Dawn's conduct is not only rude it is very unChristian (though I don't know if Dawn consider's herself Christian or cares.)
-Eduardo
PS: Having said all of the above and being both disfellowshipped myself and being shunned by my family and JW friends, I can emphathize and I know where Dawn and many of you are coming from.
It is a long standing point of debate and a subject to discuss about whether one's own "voluntary compliance" with the JW's rules of not forcing confrontations or saying greetings to JWS is EITHER 1) supportive of an illegitimate and harmful practice OR 2) being considerate and showing genuine Christian love for the conscience of a person who is misguidely trying to do what they think is right.
I grant you, there are good arguments on both sides.
As for myself personally, I usually comply with the "rules" and do not impose my own beliefs/views or conscience of knowing that the disfellowshipping/shunning practice is both wrong and harmful upon and in substitution for a person that I know to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
Though I feel I am in the right, I don't feel that it is my right to make the Jehovah's Witness hurt in their own conscience. (if they choose to speak to me then that is another matter of course.)
PPS: Of course work cultures vary and what the employer requires varies. If you work at Wal-Mart or many other stores you are required to "Greet" customers, every customer, even if they were a JW and you were DF'd.
As for "requiring" civility among employees, there is of course general courtesy and respect that is required in every work place and sometimes employees that violate these policies are justifably punished. However, I have yet to see a compnay that requires "association" or that even requires saying "hello" to every employee in the business. If that were the case that is the type of patriarchal Big Brother company that I would never want to work for. That type of conduct sounds like the armed forces where soldiers are required to salute their superiors.
