left out in the cold

by donald 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • avishai
    avishai

    Where do you live? Can i send ya some chicken soup?

    he told me in a reproachful tone...get your family to help you...this after he had told me weeks before...to ask him for help........i thought at the time its no big deal....but then something else happen to call into question all about JW

    I'm so sorry your going through all of this. Once they smell weakness (sickness) it's all over. Remember? We're taught not to give food , shelter, love, charity, like Jesus, but Watchtowers and awake's. My mom has actually been reproved for helping sick or spiritually weak ones who were'nt making it to meetings, or cooking dinners for the children of sick df'd ones. If it appears to them that you are too compassionate.... Well, you just don't have the strength to sell magazines and too much compassion to watch the goats burn at armaggedon. Not good qualities in a JW. Jesus thought they were great though!

  • evita
    evita

    I am so glad you have the support of your wife and children. Your story is heartbreaking and I can't imagine having to deal with it while having health problems. Please take good care of yourself. This board can be much help as you rebuild your life.
    Evi

  • sf
    sf

    Donald,

    I just want to give you a {{{ tight hug }}} and say that it's relief to know your wife and kids are there for you, still.

    It's no surprise the way the elder showed his true love colors.

    Sincerely, sKally

  • The Leological One
    The Leological One
    I'm so sorry your going through all of this. Once they smell weakness (sickness) it's all over. Remember? We're taught not to give food , shelter, love, charity, like Jesus, but Watchtowers and awake's. My mom has actually been reproved for helping sick or spiritually weak ones who were'nt making it to meetings, or cooking dinners for the children of sick df'd ones. If it appears to them that you are too compassionate.... Well, you just don't have the strength to sell magazines and too much compassion to watch the goats burn at armaggedon. Not good qualities in a JW. Jesus thought they were great though!

    I can't believe they actually got onto your mother for trying to help sick people or the others out, regardless of whether they were making it to meetings. I'm not surprised they were this way towards her helping DF'd people or their kids although that's equally pathetic. I totally agree with you and can't see anywhere how Jesus would fit into the society's twisted thinking.

    Sorry to hear your mother got reproved for it; I see that as her suffering persecution for righteousness' sake and am glad to hear she was trying! In my mind, this just goes further in proving that there are definitely some decent people within the org and that it's rather the org's dumb policies that are the real problem.

  • Quotes
    Quotes

    Donald, welcome to JWD!

    Hope you stick around and contribute more of your experiences.

    BTW, here is some more reading material from the publications of the Watch Tower Society: http://quotes.watchtower.ca/.

    You might find the section on "Medical and Science" of interest to you!

  • The Leological One
    The Leological One
    i thank jehovah that my wife is ther for me now....and so are my children......i any one has any thoughts or comments or encourgment ill be happy to listen...thanks for you r time......donald

    I'm very glad to hear you're not alone. I've never been a JW but am married to my now DF'd JW wife who's been going through an enormous amount of things with regard to having emotional disability as well as now can't talk to her own family or most people she'd previously known. I'd been wanting to share some things with her for a long time but restrained myself until she pretty much said she'd lost hope, too. That's when I showed her this forum and sites such as freeminds.org. She's looking into things that definitely have shown her major problems with the WT but is still researching things, and it's taking a while and does cause her times of depression and crying spells.

    I know firsthand from seeing this that it's not just some easy thing for many people to simply say, "Okay; the WT is bunk and now I'm fine," or something equally fantastic. But I believe the first and very important phase of trying to recover one's sense of equilibrium after seeing/experiencing some things that bring doubt is to research things honestly and openly to either prove the org is right or that it is wrong. If it is wrong in many areas, then as tough as it may be, you will at least feel more free to look into other things without all the guilt you'd suffer otherwise.

    Personally, I'm a Christian and feel there are an overwhelming amount of evidences to overthrow the WT as the sole channel of communication of God to people and actually more of a denomination that is based on a shaky foundation. I recommend keeping praying -- for physical, spiritual, and mental healing as well as guidance in seeking out and finding actual truth rather than solely self-proclaimed truth as the WT and some other organizations teach.

    Of important note, if your wife might not be open at the moment to researching some things, too, I wouldn't recommend bringing any more stress into your lives by pushing anything on her if you do find some things that are important and that might make the WT appear less and less to be the one "truth." I believe you definitely need peace for yourself and require that first, but if your wife has more of a mindset in common with you, then you two might be able to start looking into things together in unity. maybe looking into problems with the failed prophecies/predictions of the WT will help show how the WT, at the very least, is out of line in promoting their magazines in such an authoritarian way as to be above debate due to the idea that they've been wrong about their prophecies, so how can they claim to be a direct channel of God's. If you start finding these things out, it might help make you more open to reading the Bible and seeing where things have been taken way out of context to support major doctrines.

    I recommend trying to have a very neutral mindset when reading the Bible, as if you've never heard the WT or any Christian doctrine before and just read it and see what it clearly says by reading whole chapters at a time rather than flipping from one verse in the OT to one in the New and back and forth as I've seen occur constantly at the KH my wife attended. Not that it's wrong, IMO, to view verses that way, but it's a very good idea to see what each verse means within context of the chapter it's in to make sure it's not being distorted to meaning something it clearly doesn't.

    I believe you'll find a lot of support on this forum if you have any questions, need to vent, or just want to talk. Peace.

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa
    there many more things i could tell you about my case and other things i know....

    When you have time to tell us more, please do.

    I am glad you have your wife and children........Really that is the most important.

    You will learn alot if you keep coming to the board.

    Welcome,

    purps

  • donald
    donald

    i wish to thank all you for your kind replies.as i feel more comfortable ill teel more....theres lots more..but right now im walking a fine line between am i doing the wrong thing or not.....but ill give another example now

    About 1991...i was cut back at my job..in hours...i had three children near teenage years to feed,,,,and we all know how much they eat...lol......well i asked my boss that i saw some old sound equipment in the back...i asked if i could rent it from him....he said yes...and with my huge collection of cds.tapes,and records......i started a D J bussiness...when word got out of this one elder...without saying anything to me...tried in a elder meeting tried to get enough elders to side with him to get me on a committe....thank god there were enough fair minded brothers that shot him down.........i was just trying to help take care of my family...and one pinhead tries to have me DF..........such is the state of the truth now.....donald

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    One of our former JW friends (a really nice man, and a very prominent elder in our area) was a fireman for many years. He was killed last year in a freak accident. So, that situation you had is not the regular policy. This is his obituary:

    After 26 years in the Seattle Fire Department and several years of semi-retirement, Richard Friedt was back in uniform, working as a motorcycle escort for private funeral processions.

    He was helping others again, directing traffic Saturday, trying to smooth the way for those in mourning.

    But in a blink, a brown Cadillac in the funeral procession clipped Friedt's motorcycle, sending it crashing into oncoming traffic. Friedt, 57, suffered a severe head injury.

    "The combination of the two impacts sent the bike tumbling," said Deanna Nollette, spokeswoman for the Seattle Police Department.

    News of the accident brought some 80 family members and friends to Harborview Medical Center's intensive-care unit. They ranged from firefighters, to members of the motorcade, to congregants from the Friedt family's church in Shoreline.

    "We had to continually usher people away from the bed," said David Crook, a son-in-law who spoke on behalf of the family yesterday.

    Shortly before 10 p.m. Saturday, his family decided to turn off life support, and Friedt died.

    Friedt, of Shoreline, is survived by his wife of 35 years, Linda; six children, including a teenage daughter; and three grandchildren.

    "It was really a blink-of-the-eye tragedy," Crook said.

    The accident happened near the intersection of 23rd Avenue and Judkins Street in South Seattle. The driver of the Cadillac was questioned by police and released.

    Born in Burien, Friedt graduated from Highline High School and spent three years in the Navy before he settled into a career as a firefighter. He crisscrossed the city during his career, his family said, serving in nearly every stationhouse in Seattle. He retired as a lieutenant from Station 24 in Seattle's North End.

    As the father of five daughters and a son, Friedt could come across as protective and sometimes intimidating. But he also had a streak of mischief.

    He was particularly fond of handing out one-line pearls of wisdom. The family called them "Rick-isms." They ranged from the sweet ? "Take your time leaving, but hurry back" ? to the sarcastic ? "Don't let the door hit you on your way out."

    Sometimes they left the family laughing; sometimes relatives wondered what on earth he meant. "One of his philosophies in life was that when somebody's pushing your buttons, change your buttons," Crook said. "I haven't fully figured that one out yet."

    As a Jehovah's Witness, Friedt stood somewhat apart from the other firefighters. He had the respect of his colleagues, his family said. But he was not spared firehouse teasing: Because he did not celebrate holidays such as Christmas, colleagues nicknamed him "No Treat Friedt."

    Friedt and his wife had been active members in the Shoreline Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses for about three decades. Friedt was an elder there, a distinction given to the most active and learned among the congregation.

  • Euphemism
    Euphemism

    Mulan's right... a lot of what happened to you is not in accord with organizational policy. Unfortunately, as many here can tell you, that's not an isolated incident. There's a moral rot in the organization; and the weak or those considered 'unspiritual' are all too often left high and dry.

    It sounds to me like you've dealt with some really difficult situations in life, and you've done that not by relying an organization, but by relying on your conscience, and doing what you knew you needed to do for your family. That's the important part.

    Best wishes to you, and I hope your health improves as well.

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