That's like asking for money to go to a college where you don't learn anything.
I will not share a meal with you but can you give me some money
by tyler m 45 Replies latest jw friends
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david_10
Hello, Tyler, welcome to the board. This is just another example of how the WTBS destroys families--------------------------It's a terrible tradegy. As I was reading all the posts, I have to go along with Eduardo and Kwin on this. I just see another family blown apart by the Watchtower, and that's never good. You have to realize that witnesses aren't normal and they honestly can't help it. You said that your parents have "dutifully shunned you", and you're right: they're so brainwashed that they can't think for themselves and it's out of duty that they treat you this way. Their thinking is so warped that they honestly can't help what they do. I was a JW for over 35 years and I know that this is true. They're not normal.
I don't mean to sound like Dear Abby here, but I think that you should be the one to take the high ground and try to find some way that you could smooth things over. You're the one who will have to do this, because they sure won't--------------they're just too brainwashed. In the long run, I know that you wouldn't have any regrets if you tried. And it might eventually cause them to wake up----------------in a month, a year or even 20 years, you never know, but it could happen. I certainly wouldn't give them any money, for sure, but now that I'm something over 50, I've learned a thing or two about life, and I can tell you---------absolutely, positively-------- that life is just too short to waste even a minute of it embroiled in family fueding. Be the mature one; take the high ground. I hope it works out for you. Good luck.
David
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LongHairGal
Tyler:
I am sorry and outraged to read about your experience with your parents. You have done the right thing to tell them never to ask you for money again as long as they adhere to their ridiculous belief - especially for a reason such as this. (You might have compassion if they were starving though).
Along these same lines, dubs feel that they can ignore, shun or whatever and feel that you will help them if they are in need.
This blows my mind!!! I wonder where all their "spiritual" friends are that they need to bother someone who is out - and imagine that that person should help them.
(JW LURKERS I HOPE YOU ARE READING THIS!) - do you expect a person who you ignore/shun for whatever reason to help you when your so-called spiritual friends are not around?? I sincerely hope not.
LHG -
MerryMagdalene
Sorry, man. That's just unbelievably believable...if you know what i mean?!?
My first response was "CRIMENY" (one of my kid-friendly swear words)...but then I realized how much that sounds like "Cry Money."
Glad you're here...Welcome...Looking forward to seeing more of ya around the place...
~Merry
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Dragonlady76
David_10
his is just another example of how the WTBS destroys families--------------------------It's a terrible tradegy. As I was reading all the posts, I have to go along with Eduardo and Kwin on this. I just see another family blown apart by the Watchtower, and that's never good. You have to realize that witnesses aren't normal and they honestly can't help it. You said that your parents have "dutifully shunned you", and you're right: they're so brainwashed that they can't think for themselves and it's out of duty that they treat you this way. Their thinking is so warped that they honestly can't help what they do.
The thing is they have a choice! I don't feel one bit sorry for JW's. Yes they are very brainwashed, but just as you and I and everyone else that posts here, "we saw the light and made a choice to get out," they can do the same. Asking for $ because of a hardship is one thing but to ask for a trip to Bethel after 9 years of shunning is beyond bull s**t! Sure Dad rub more salt on the wound. Dad was not trying to reach out to his son, he was mooching. If his son was ill and needed $ for medical costs would Dad help? I almost guarantee a no.
They do have control over their decisions and if it's their choice to pick a high control cult over their family then fine, let them do that, but I don't want to hear poor me I have to shun you or do what the WT says, nope your born with a brain so use it and deal with the consequences.
DL76
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codeblue
I am so sorry to hear about what has just happened to you.
What really got me was this comment:
I told my biological father I could not afford it because I was supporting his 2 other children who he abandoned when they left the cult known as Jehovahs Witnesses and I was not about to help pay for them to go to the headquarters.
You are supporting 2 of his kids that he has turned his back on?....SHAME on HIM!!! What kind of a DAD is he? Did he even RESPOND to that comment?
I probably would blow up on the phone at my DAD if I had the same circumstances to deal with...
So sorry you are having to deal with such lack of love.....and btw, "Welcome to the board"...
CodeBlue
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tyler m
I have no regrets about what I said to my "father". If I had to do it over again I would blast him again and then tell him to put mom on the phone and blast her too. I could hear her talking in the background. I am not going to call them and make peace. My door is closed to them. I thought about this all night and I think the only way I could allow them in my life is if they left the dubs. Otherwise they would still be emotionally abusive and dense.
You are supporting 2 of his kids that he has turned his back on?....SHAME on HIM!!! What kind of a DAD is he? Did he even RESPOND to that comment?
In all fairness they were 18 (twins) when they left but I have been supporting them the last 3 years. I do not want them to struggle like I did. His response to that comment was that it was my choice. He's right. I am under no obligation to pay for their college or bills and neither are they. I just wanted him to know that a good portion of my disposable income was going toward them and I was not about to give him any of it for a trip to Bethel.
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bebu
Welcome, Tyler! Sorry to read about the lack of common sense in your parents.
Your parents asking you for money to go to Bethel is like you asking them for money to go buy some sex!
LOL. Good for future reference, maybe!
Parent(very holy): Son, I called to ask you favor. We need $ for a trip to Bethel.
Son (innocently): Dad, how coincidental. I was just going to call and ask for $ to buy sexual favors...
bebu
some-people-need-a-shock class
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BrendaCloutier
((( tyler ))) Welcome to JWD!
It really grates on me when a parent or senior person behaves very badly, and yet we are supposed to show respect and let them "get away with it" no matter what. I don't think so.
18 years ago my VW was dying. My parents mentioned that they might sell my mom's car and get her another one. I made a market value offer ($1200) and said I could pay 1/2 now, and the balance within 3 months. My dad said he'd think about it.
2 weeks later my bug breathed it's last breath, and I called my dad. He said they thought it over and they would not give me the car. I told him that I had not asked to be given the car, that I offered market value for it. He said that didn't matter they wouldn't give it to me anyway. I asked why not, and the response was that they gave it to my neice because she needed it more than I did. I asked my dad if there was any way they could help. He said an emphatic "NO!" and hung up on me.
I wrote a letter to my parents, my dad specifically, telling them how hurt I felt. That they always claimed to be my "true" friends and to "love" me and yet I had no reason to trust them by their actions. This created a flurry of angry letterwriting and a boatload of accusations on my dad's part with me being the one to drop it because it was going nowhere.
They also gave same neice my piano, my antique 4-poster bed and bedroom suite, and a number of other items they always said were mine when I wanted them, that to keep them there was no problem. I don't care about the items, but the BS about them is something else.
I finally "divorced" them in 1994 after I invited them to my wedding (#3) and offered to pay for their room and transportation if they didn't want to drive (Portland to Seattle). I didn't hear from them until I called just a few days before the wedding. Their excuse was "oh, well, we don't drive much anymore". "Why didn't you atleast send back the postage paid RSVP?" "Oh, I guess I just didn't get around to it".
Believe it or not, I'm on good terms with them today. They are old (87) and in ill health. My dad is senile. My mom is loving. Hmm. amazing what time will do to heals.
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Why Georgia
Maybe they thought that since they are Jehovahs special people ...he would soften your heart, mind, and bank account to realize their life's dream of an all expense paid trip to Bethel.
Sorry for the sarcasm.
I'm also sorry that this whole experience happened to you.