If u have family and friends in the borg that u care about then fading is the best way. It u don't have families and friend in the borg then it doesn't matter which route u end up taking. The neg side of fading it that it is not easy. U always have to be on your toes. It is an art that only few are able to master. So far my fadehood is going well. I can barely see myself....almost faded:-)
D.A. vs. Slow Fade
by Black Man 38 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
soylibre
I have mixed emotions and thoughts on this one....I da'd almost 4 years ago....felt like I had to make that break official and felt like I wanted to give them a piece of my mind....I have no family who are JW's so that's nice but I miss my friends tremendously, even though I have many wonderful friends now. I also regained my family that I had been practically shunning for 12 years because they were "worldly"....but I could have regained them without da'ing...and another thing...I am active politically and socially and my family is big into holidays......I guess in the end my freedom has been worth the price...I lower my head for no one....and I speak to all JW's I run into...
-
Tina
Hi Black!
I'm sure there are valid reasons for either method.
I just abruptly stopped. When it all came to a head for me,I said. No More. I haven't(yet) experienced any reprecussions. This was several yrs ago. The elders knew I was really unhappy on so many issues. I haven't had a visit in all this time either.
My son left shortly after I did(4th Gen JW). WHich elated me. I still have other family members in,but decided I had to live with myself first before I could worry about anyone else.Hugs,Tina -
Billygoat
Soylibre and Tina,
It's so refreshing to hear of stories like yours where things have worked out for the better! I hope someday to share mine with you!
Billygoat
-
Tina
(((((((billy))))))))))))hey!
I omitted that I am in fact,shunned by some family members. But like soy so aptly said,it's the price of freedom. So my life goes on,fuller,more actively and rewarding than before!
I figure the ones who shun me? It's their loss,because I'm a fine and good person. Luv,T -
nicolaou
Great thread!
I've been doing the 'fade' for nearly two years and it just gets more and more difficult. I often find myself wanting to shake my friends by the shoulders and scream at them to WAKE UP!
Of course we all know that wouldn't really help anyone and once I calm down again I know that I'm doing the right thing (for me anyway) by just drifting into the distance.
I have too many people I care for and value to risk getting DF'd and so I'm preparing for the time when the issue will be forced (as it surely will be).
I prepared the following letter about a year ago hoping that I'd never need it, if anyone feels they'd like to add it to their defences then by all means copy and modify it to suit your circumstances.
However we choose to handle our personal circumstances we must be sure not to act in the heat of the moment - that's why this place is so helpful!
Talking things through and actually listening to many of the great guys and girls that have poured out so much encouragement and advice can only help to bring us to a more rounded decision.
When I shared my story here just four months ago I was astonished by the reaction. I made the point at that time that I had received more compassion in 24 hours on this board than I had received in 24 months from my elders.
For any of you reading this who are still 'active' but maybe have feelings of doubt, guilt or fear please, please speak up!
We are here to help you.Nic'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
[begin letter]TO: DATED:
OF:Take note.
I am requesting that you personally and the elders from the XXXXXXXXXXXX Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses collectively, cease and desist from calling on me anymore.
I would like to make it clear that I am in no way disassociating myself from any congregation, office or organisation associated with Jehovah's Witnesses. I know that I have legal rights. I am fully aware of the possibility of illegalities occurring and wish to prevent them.
I have the right to not have mental suffering intentionally inflicted upon me. I have the right to privacy and not to have publicity of any kind given to private information about me. And I have the right to be free from unwarranted and untruthful attacks upon my character. If you infringe upon these rights, I may take legal action.
I will consider any attempt to convince by speeches, talks or teaching; to coerce by implied or actual threat of judicial action; or to encourage by private counsel or suggestion to any of Jehovah's Witnesses to treat me differently from any other person, to be a serious violation of my civil rights and I may initiate any legal action, civil or criminal that I or my solicitor deem appropriate.
This includes any attempt to convince by speeches, talks or teaching; to coerce by implied or actual threat of judicial action; or to encourage by private counsel or suggestion to any of Jehovah's Witnesses to shun, ‘mark' or avoid me, cease or otherwise modify their doing business with me, or modify in any way their behaviour towards me. I may consider any such to be an infringement upon my civil and human rights and may initiate appropriate legal action.
This request to cease and desist from harassment, stalking, slandering, and/or infringing on my rights includes any actions to be taken by any congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses and particularly the XXXXXXXXXXXX Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses it's individual elders or it's legal corporation, the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses or it's legal corporations, The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc., The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania, Inc., The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Great Britain., the International Bible Students Association, or any other agency not here named, including all or any agents or assignees against me.
You have been warned.
Mr/s Your Name
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
quickly edited to remove information that may have identified me! -
Tina
Hi Nic!
Wow! fantastic letter!! Do you mind if I copy it(a just in case scenario comes to mind) :> I 've seen a few others over the years that are good,but I like yours. Succinct! hugs,T -
closer2fine
Faded away - My entire family was in & I still wanted them in my life. Other than this - I really wouldn't care.
closer
"Can you imagine a world with no hypothetical questions?" -- Steven Wright
-
nicolaou
Hi Tina!
Copy and share the letter all you like!And let me say a very belated 'thank you' for the good advice you gave me back in March - I hope you don't mind but I'd like to share it here for the benefit of our many 'lurker' friends......
Educate yourself on the dynamics of mind-control techniques. Once aware of the strategies used on you and your loved ones,it becomes less difficult to combat them....... re-create family structure and rituals,,,time that once was used for empty wts rituals can now be used to truly get to know one another ans share in worthwhile pursuits....... make an effort to learn about and rejoin your community...there are many good activities going on,many volunteer and charitable ones that do make a difference in the world around you......and most of all,,,education,education education.
Original thread...... http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=3771&site=3
Nic'
-
Black Man
Nic.....that letter was AWESOME!!! I've gotta read it again and let it marinate for awhile. TREMENDOUS.