Two people will often choose each other because they both sense the same emotional unavailability in the other that they feel comfortable with. Often intelligent but not emotionally demanding. Usually one partner will refuse to share their emotions and be evasive if their partner tries to share theirs. They will set limits and withdraw if an attempt is made to test those limits. Each partner will feel it is the others fault. They will both feel unwanted
I'm running out of lifespan in which to learn such things. However, there are mysterious reasons for selecting someone as a mate. There is a program running in our mental CPU we can't seem to access. It has a way of choosing that is often inimical.
I think often we are problem-solving in an inside out fashion. We hack away at something we need; as though the brute force method is the only method available.
Certainly enlightenment trumps that.
Do we choose our parents in disguise? Ugh! I'd hate to think that.
Are we clueless? Eyeless in Gaza, as it were?
I'm beginning to think so.
T.