Wow, this really feels strange---it's my first post in a very long time.
WhyGeorgia, you have really interested me in this thread. I've read the whole thing and see a lot of good points. My heart goes out to you for the frustration you must be feeling. It's as though someone deliberately baits you, then calmly says you're crazy when they've succeeded! It's kind of a game to some people to see if they can rile others up. Not that it seems the "elders" were consciously attempting this, but it's the arrogance of feeling they "speak for God" that makes them do this in effect.
Your title of this thread seems to tell of your frustration! Imo, you did not "blow it," but were merely pushed to your limits by manipulative, for whatever reason, people who think their rights as God's spokesmen transcends other peoples' rights. A lot of psychopaths do that too
And then they say "I rest my case."
You've been had and I'm glad to see that you're taking steps to prevent the bullies from continuing. I've had some bullies in my life and can empathasize with your reactions. And, like you, after becoming I took steps to prevent them from interacting with me. What's the saying? That when you dance with a gorilla, after a while you realize they are enjoying it! Or some such thing.
Good luck,
Pat
