Make "your own" JW door to door presentation... (page 2)

kls

How about ,,,Hello ,i am a jw and i would like to screw up your entire live life as well as your families. Here are some magazines for you to read or it makes great kindling for your fireplace.

seattleniceguy

Wow, this is an interesting excercise. Interesting how much deception is in the typical presentation:

Hello, my name's SNG and this is my friend Debbie. We are talking with our neighbors briefly about giraffes and their remarkable necks. Did you know that giraffes are native to Africa? Yes? Great! Well, this issue of Awake! [ rumples it open ] has a fascinating article here on page 23. I thought you might enjoy this article, so I'd like to leave it with you. Here you are.
May I share a scripture with you briefly? I have it right here. Notice how Psalm 151:2 says, "In you all long-necked creatures will rejoice." Isn't it reassuring to consider that our Creator cares even for the giraffes? Okay, well, have a nice day! Perhaps we can chat again sometime.

Let's go over what actually happened here...

"my friend Debbie"
Well, only by a very strange definition of the word "friend." See, we never hang out. The only time I ever see her is at meetings and out in service, and to be quite honest, we speak only for a few minutes at a time then. In fact, even if we wanted to, we could never really be friends, since it is considered improper for a male and female to be anything other than remote acquaintances unless they are dating or married. Basically, we use the word "friend" for you, because you might thing it was strange if we used the cult-word "sister."

"about giraffes and their remarkable necks"
It's true that the first 15 seconds of my presentation will be about giraffes. However, you and I both know that this is not the reason I came to your door this morning. You'll notice that I give you only one boring fact about giraffes before parlaying into a presentation for our religious magazine.

"Great!"
Hmm. You already knew giraffes are native to Africa. Not good. We're looking for people who will be fascinated to learn these fascinating facts.

"fascinating article"
I thought the article was pretty decent because I like animals, and it was much more interesting than the cover article on young people. See, I'm expected to slog through every article in every issue of this magazine. So for me, comparatively, it was a fascinating article. However, if you do any amount of normal reading, you probably won't find it fascinating at all.

"I thought you might enjoy this article"
Again, I'm sorry to say, I really didn't think this. What I really thought was that this was the tamest article in the magazine, the one least connected with religion in any way, so it might be the easiest to present. My decision to come to your door today had nothing to do with you as a person, or even about this article. Even if I did not have this article or any other article remotely like it, I still would have come to your door, offering something else that I would say I thought you would enjoy.

"May I share a scripture with you briefly?"
You see, this is the real reason I came. I had to pretend I wanted to talk to you about giraffes because if I broke out the Bible right away you would have quickly shut the door. Don't worry, I want to be here as much as you want me here, so I'll make it quick and get out of here.

"Perhaps we can chat again sometime"
I will try to make this happen by calling at your door again until you explicitly tell me not to, or simply don't answer the door for a very long time. If you choose to ignore my calls, I might very well come to your door for months before I give up, especially considering the charming conversation we've just had.

All I can say when I look back at all of this is WOW! I'm glad to be out!

SNG

iggy_the_fish

ROFLMAO, there's some gold on this thread. You people are GENIUSES!

ig

Sunspot

Don't worry, I want to be here as much as you want me here, so I'll make it quick and get out of here.

SNG,

I loved your post, especially the line above! How true that IS!

Annie

bebu

ROFL @ everyone, but especially Honesty and Nos.

bebu

JH

Gee, I must be a darn dirty rat to start a thread like this

HappyDad

A lot of real gems here!

SNG................."Perhaps we can chat again sometime"

Oh God how I hate that word! And I had to be one of the biggest offenders by using this word so much back when.

HappyDad

jt stumbler

Hello, blah blah blah . I would like to invite you to one of our 5 meetings. At first you can come to wich ever one you want. Then later you must come to all of them or we will slowly begin avoiding you. After a bit of making it to all of our meetings, you can come out in service with us to speak to others like yourself. Then after you start handing in field service reports and you are meeting the national average we will give you some sponsibilites. Just remember, if you don?t get that average despite your circumstances or what kind of person you are at home or in public those sponsiblilities will be taken from you and given to an elder or pioneers kid. Please come to our meeting this Sunday. The talk is "Are you serving whole souled to God?

kittyeatzjdubs

**knockknock**

hi! my name is -------. are you happy with your life?.......oh...you are?...aren't you the least bit depressed or unsatisfied?.....you're not?...nevermind.....this won't work on you then....

*goes to next door*

**knockknock**

hi! my name is --------. are you happy with your life?........you're not? you just got laid off and you found out your husband/wife is cheating on you?.....i'm so sorry to hear that.....your father died last week?....oh that's just awful. well, sir/ madam, you might find that if you stare at this magazine filled with pictures of unnaturally happy people, you will have a desire to learn more about them. at which point i will return with an el'dur to answer any questions you might have. oh! and be sure to shave your head tonight so the brainwasher doesn't melt your hair to your head. it'll all be better tomorrow.

luv, kitty

jaffacake

Hey, my name is .......... I have some good news for you, but dont take my word for it. I have with me a Bible (old and new testaments). How about you read a chapter at a time, then I can come back when it is convenient if you wish and we can exchange ideas about what it all means. I am only telling you about this because I as a Christian I believe I have been commanded to my Jesus Christ our Lord. I do believe this is important and we can learn the purpose of our lives here on Earth.

Make "your own" JW door to door presentation...

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