Presentation #4:
Hello! I'm out talking to your neighbors this morning, hoping that some of you can give me some gas money. You see, I'm committed to giving away these magazines, and my religion wants me to drive other members of my congregation around all morning free of charge. None of them will give me gas money, so I was wondering if you could help me out. Also, we work on a donation system, so if you like, I could donate these magazines to you as a thank you for your generousity.
Make "your own" JW door to door presentation...
by JH 26 Replies latest jw friends
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Nosferatu
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fairchild
"Good morning".
"Hey"
"How are you doing on this lovely Sunday morning?"
"I don't know yet, you woke me. We stayed up forever last night, playing the ouiji board".
"Well, we have some good news for you".
"Oh my god, did I win the lottery last night? I forgot to check".
"Um, no, the good news is about the kingdom of God".
"Are you guys Jehovah's witnesses? I thought the world was going to come to an end in 1975. What happened? A little miscalculation there?"
"Careful ma'am, you cigarette ashes are falling on the floor".
"Whatever. But what about 1975?"
"Would you mind if I read a scripture from the bible to you?"
"Is it about 1975?"
"It is about the signs which indicate how close we are to the end of this system of things".
"But they said the same thing to me in 1975".
"When the disciples asked Jesus what the sign would be of his......"
"Listen guys, that was centuries ago. I want to know about 1975".
"Oh, you have such a lovely lilac bush in your front yard".
"Are you gonna tell me about 1975, or are you not gonna tell me about 1975?
"Jehovah answers all our questions at the proper time. So, if you like, I can leave you a few magazines, in which you will find many answers to questions".
"Do those magazines answer my question about 1975?"
"Well, you have a good day ma'am."
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bebu
...Sounds like you are recalling an actual conversation you've had, fairchild...!
bebu
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fairchild
lol, nah, I made it up. But it COULD be an actual event.
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Outaservice
KNOCK KNOCK.......
WHO'S THERE?
GOOD MORNING, I'M A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE WATCHDOG, BABBLE AND TRASH SOCIETY, AND I'M HERE TO SELL YOU SOME MAGAZINES AND ARGUE RELIGION. IF YOU HAVE A FEW HOURS MAY I STEP IN?
GET THE H___ OUT OF HERE
OKAY YOU GOAT, I'M OUTA HERE
OUTASERVICE
#2 KNOCK, KNOCK.............
WHO'S THERE?
GOOD MORNING, I'M WITH THE 'EVERLASTING LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY' AND THESE TWO JOURNALS WILL TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE FOREVER WITH PEOPLE LIKE ME. DOES THAT DOG BITE?
GET THE H____ OUT OF HERE
OUTASERVICE
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moanzy
Here is a conversation starter we were warned not to use in service:
"Good Morning, we are here with a message from outer space....."
It's ironic that it is probably true!
Moanzy
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Evanescence
LOL fair child you crack me up!
jw- Gewdmoning i was to talky with yow bout jahoba, owe orgy belives dat skool iz wong cause yu leyn bad stuff! satan usez skool tu teach u bad stuff. do ya will by a watchtoer magazen? u lern bout jahoba, yu lern al ya nead to know in life.
person- umm sorry mate i can't quite understand what you are saying can you please repeat what you said
jw- JAHOBA says skool blllllluuuuuuuuu baaaaa baaaaaaa blaaaa sorry got me tounge tide satan uze skool tu teach u bad stuff!
person- sorry I can't quite understand what you are saying, I am a teacher from the catholic school in this town maybe I can get you enroled you poor man have you never been educated as a child?
jw- huh? noooooooooooo skool bad, soryy I must leave u bad assoti-ator
(jw runs off to next house)
jw- umm exus ma'am du u know wher me am? i can't reed my melways
Ok I don't think any jws are that dumb or un-educated but oh well!
Evanescence