When do you tell them------------ (page 2)

Mastodon

I telll people and they ask question, and to me it's a big help, it lets me vent and helps me spread the message about the eeeeeevils of the Borg

Reading other posts about this, yes, I agree, it is up to you. I know my sister (df'ed for years and years) would never dream of telling her friends that she was raised a JW. She would just say, "It is not who I am, not one bit." Maybe it is because we are all on different parts of the path to recovery. Some feel need to validate that leaving was right, others need test out whether or not they are truly accepted, others no longer hold one bit of JW life, etc. "Depends" is a good answer.

Jez

EvilForce

Um, Sunspot.... walking out of the store with a Pepsi as a teen vs. being a drone in the borg for 20+ years is hugely different. It has shaped who she is today. What does she think about the bible? About God? About organized religion? About family? About friendships?

When I talk to my friends about Jo Ho's they are always amazed. I've helped two people get out of other cults...non JW type. If I hadn't told them I was a former Jo Ho they wouldn't have asked my help. It is who you are. How do you dismiss 20 years OF A LIFESTYLE? 20+ years of 5 meetings a week, field service, etc.

scotsman

Vitty

You tell them whenever you want. It's really not a big deal. Everyone has some sh*t in their lives.

littlerockguy

Some people I tell and some I dont; it usually depends on how close I am to them. I am a very introverted type of person and I am cynical and have a very hard time trusting people.

HappyDad

Through the years of my life as a JW, I have come to know a lot of non JW's and they were in my life to one extent or another. And..oh yes, they all knew that I was a dub!

Since my leaving (fading), just about everyone of my non JW acquaintances has gotten a thourough anti-witness and how my eyes are now opened.

To any new people I meet, I say nothing about my past life as a JW, but if the subject ever came up, then they would be told my story.

HappyDad

talesin

I agree that's it's about context. Some folks I have known for years, and it has never come up. But those I am close to, how can it be helped? Intimacy requires honesty, so it depends on how close you wish to be to your friends. This can take time , because as lrg so rightly expressed, cynicism and lack of an ability trust are present in most of us.

*Holiday X* is arriving, your friend asks what you are getting your mother. Oh, they are JW, they don't do *X*. It's just a part of the conversation. As Abaddon says, the reactions have a wide range.

Funniest reaction from a friend, " oh, that explains a lot about you "

Turns out that friend knew JW's destructive effect on families quite well from a schoolmate, and it was a compliment on my escape from the Tower and how normal I was able to be, though I have my quirks ... lol.

t

luna2

I've told my non-JW friends, all of them....but that was mostly because I was still in to the extent that I didn't celebrate holidays or birthdays and wanted them to know why. With any new friends I make post-renunciation, it will be on the basis of whether it comes up naturally or not.

What I'm having trouble with right now is deciding what to tell my parents, who were never JW. I'm resistant to informing them that I now truly believe it's a bogus cult because I'm sure that they will forever question my judgment. I feel like I have enough to cope with learning to trust myself as it is. I may leave it that I've just gotten tired of the constant guilt-trip. I'm not sure they ever understood how deep my commitment was in the first place.

LittleToe

I let it come up naturally. To be honest, I'm happy to put it behind me and hopefully find myself fully integrated into the real world.

Being a relatively close community, I don't really have to mention it.
Often I get asked to speak to one church group or another, about it.
Inevitably they want to know how to deal with the intruders at their door, and I'm happy to oblige

Country_Woman

To any new people I meet, I say nothing about my past life as a JW, but if the subject ever came up, then they would be told my story.

Same with me, I don't hide it .....

When do you tell them------------

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