i vacsilitate between still believing in God and being so cynical that i dont believe in anything. i dont think i'm far enough away from the past to come to any conclusions that i can say " THIS is what i believe " . the feeling of impending doom isnt gone but its fading away. i dont believe armageddons going to happen anymore but i have had to deal with believing that YES i will die someday ( sounds stupid to type it) and that has been hard. its hard to come to the realization that "normal"people grow up knowing you live , you die... being raised jw i always figured i'd never have to die unless i got hit by a bus or something by accident!
(yes i'm still screwed up..hence the " nuts" part of my name)